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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy it now; it's marvellous
I bought this book last September when my heart was broken and I didn't think I could ever be happy again. I can honestly say that the book had a massively positive impact on how I thought about my previous relationships and what I could hope for in the future.
I read a little bit every night before I went to sleep and it was like a little bit of medicine for the...
Published on 23 July 2011 by Susan

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not that helpful for me ??
Maybe this book is better for people who've had a less traumatic breakup than I had ? My partner and best friend of ten years walked out on me and my whole world turned upside down. A decade together is a long time and the grief is very intense, scary and distressing. At the moment, the pain and anxiety are too raw for this book to really help me? Maybe it will be of more...
Published 12 months ago by MancBaby77


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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy it now; it's marvellous, 23 July 2011
I bought this book last September when my heart was broken and I didn't think I could ever be happy again. I can honestly say that the book had a massively positive impact on how I thought about my previous relationships and what I could hope for in the future.
I read a little bit every night before I went to sleep and it was like a little bit of medicine for the soul. At times the book is quite profound, and if you are at the point where you want to stop making the same mistakes in your life and with relationships - then this book is the best investment you'll ever make.
If you're really struggling post breakup then I can't recommend Susan Elliott enough, the chapter about how to help your kids is great. If you follow her advice, then you'll move on with dignity and with integrity intact, and with a much greater chance of being happy and content in your own skin, in your own company.
So, 10 months on I can say that life goes on, it's even better than before and my breakup certainly was the best thing that ever happened to me! Get the damn book!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not that helpful for me ??, 23 Mar. 2014
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Maybe this book is better for people who've had a less traumatic breakup than I had ? My partner and best friend of ten years walked out on me and my whole world turned upside down. A decade together is a long time and the grief is very intense, scary and distressing. At the moment, the pain and anxiety are too raw for this book to really help me? Maybe it will be of more use in a few months time. I don't have past issues that are stopping me getting over my relationship. I just can't get over it because I miss the person and the loss is sometimes too much to face. This book kind of infers that we all have some unresolved issue that makes us cling to a bad relationship/ex partner, but for a lot of us, we just want that person back because we love them - that's all! The book makes some good points about having no contact, and allowing yourself to grieve....but for me, self-affirmations and journalling are not really going to bring me closer to the relief I need. I feel like somebody has died and i think it will be a long long time before I can be me again. This book has had many good reviews - this is just my opinion. It is a good book to have - perhaps I hoped for too much too soon with it ??
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Bible of break up books, 10 July 2011
My ex finished with me nearly 2 months ago and having no idea how to cope with all the emotions I was going through I came across this book which I saw had been highly recommended. I can truthfully say it has never left my side since, it is as though it was written directly for me. Susan Elliott is a highly experienced grief therapist and sets out in detail the phases of grief and feelings you will encounter. There is lots of practical advice on how to cope with all your feelings, and how to bring your self-esteem back, plus at the core of the book is a detailed questionnaire you fill out - "The Relationship Inventory". During this you take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside point of view and write this down on paper which allows you to see the relationship for what it was, rather than through the fantasy you have in your head. Getting over a relationship takes time and work, and this book guides you all the way through and makes you realise you are not alone in anything you are feeling, and you're not going mad with all the crazy emotions. It is my bible and cannot recommend it enough!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A blueprint to your new life, 5 Jun. 2009
I'd hesitate to call this a book that helps you to "just" get over a break-up. It's so much more.

Though a relationship or marriage breakdown can be terrible this book is so much more than "getting over" things. Susan Elliott shows you how to not only recover from a break-up, but how to build a new life and be happy, whether that's in or out of a relationship.

For me, it was an eye-opener. It taught me how to learn to grieve (and not just relationships, but also other losses in my life, and from that point to then move on and get a life.

This book isn't gender specific either, it's aimed at anyone who wants to pick themselves up and get the life they want and deserve.

It's great. It's the only book I'd recommend for those in a break-up situation.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best post-break-up book I ever read, 5 July 2010
By 
Roadrunner47 (Western Europe) - See all my reviews
"Getting Past Your Breakup" is undoubtly one of the best books I read on the subject. Eloquently written,it guides you through the stages of post-break up grief, offers tools and techniques to turn loss and pain into engine of personal growth. Susan Elliot's book is much more than a post-break up first-aid - which it is too, and very effective one! It teaches you how to set healthy boundaries, how to restore / build up self- esteem, how to identify patterns in broken relationships... how to move on and start dating without falling into the same pit over and over again. Working through the book resulted in me becoming much more balanced, self-assured and assertive person and it has postive impact on virtually all major areas of my life: my relationship with my son, with my sister, on my professional life.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I read this book 20 years ago - it has so much wisdom in it - one of the best self help books which blends the best eleme, 13 July 2014
By 
Elfin "T H" (London Border - Essex) - See all my reviews
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This book is a phenomenon - it is much more than what the title suggest ... Very eloquently written and has a no-nonsense policy on relationship issues. If you are a sensible human but torn : what should you follow? :your heart or your your head? - this book gives you answers by giving away top counselling 'trade secrets' and by reading (and re-reading) it could save you a bundle on paying for an expensive therapy or counselling.
For example : The Rules of Disengagement / Exercises to Stay NO CONTACT - she explains why it is unhelpful to stay in touch with an ex (i.e: after break up, it is such paradox the person who pushes for 'friendship' is normally the one who could not commit to the relationship responsibilities or treated you badly - why would you want to count this person as 'friend'?)
The book is very cleverly put together by focusing on YOU and your future but also addressing past grief in a very humane manner : grieving is not linear -it's cyclic process and we can learn to re-cycle, in fact to turn the pain into the engine of self-growth. After dealing with 'loss' (very detailed and will guide you through it) it will help you to reinvent your life by setting boundaries -as 'you need to know where you begin and where you end'. (Don't be afraid -it will give you examples how the boundary crushers will try to go over and under ...and will give you strategies how to cope with those ...)
I wish I read this book 20 years ago - it has so much wisdom in it - one of the best self help books which blends the best elements of all main influencing counselling therapies : psychodynamic - focusing on past issues and root causes ----- humanistic - 'here and now' but also looking into the future by incorporating cognitive behaviour therapy and neuro-linguistic programming - without sounding 'too pedantic', ambiguous or 'too scientific'. It is hard not to agree with her -even if you are not yet ready to reinvent your life - you will get through the painful break up and will be able to put the focus back on you and 'make peace with the peace'.
Also - regarding Love - it is eye-opening when she writes about real love with sheer clarity : "Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience." ..." Real love does not play mind-games, does not send mixed messages, is not passive aggressive. Real love does not set you up for failure, constantly criticize or find your shortcomings. Real love does not make you feel bad. Remember this and set your standards in the sky..." (S.J.Elliott)
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life saver, 5 Nov. 2012
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I have never reviewed anything bought online before but my gratitude for the author is so big that I feel obliged to promote her book.
If you are a male (like me) don't be put off by the horrible cover. What's inside will save your sanity and show you the way out of the dark.
Your ex moved out on you without explanation and you struggle to make sense of it? Only couple of months ago you were holding hands saying 'I love you' to each other and now she/he is marrying someone else? Welcome to my nightmare. Want the nightmare to end - buy the book. The whole process proposed in the book is long and difficult but it also gave me instant relief from the pain I have been experiencing. I read the book but have not completed any of the exercises yet, and 2 months on, not only I'm doing much better on a daily basis but I'm starting to feel happy about being single and looking forward to the future ahead. The book has not only helped me to deal with the immediate crisis but also changed the way I look at relationships and life in general. It is truly amazing.
This may prove to be the most important book I have ever read. If you are at the bottom as I was - do yourself a favor and buy the book and check out the GPYB blog- it will be the best tenner you will ever spend.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring!, 28 Mar. 2014
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I found this book really inspiring! It helps to make sense of how you are feeling and that you are not going crazy! It also helps you with pratical steps to really recover and deal with the breakup. Focusing on what you want and need and not feeling guilty about want you want and need! I will be reccomeding this book to anyone i know going through a break up :-)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent - would strongly recommend, 19 Aug. 2012
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This is very well written and suggests excellent practical strategies for moving on from your relationship and moving on with your life. Is it informed from Elliott's personal experiences, professional practice and other key literature on the topic - Women Who Love Too Much and Melody Beattie's writing on grief and codependence, in particular. Read this if there is any doubt in your mind about any previous relationship or if you find yourself attracted to people who you know perhaps aren't quite right for you. Its usefulness exceeds the breaking up situation. Whether you are male or female I would strongly recommend also reading Women Who Love Too Much and Co-dependent No More for further depth into related topics.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars the worst that can happen is you'll feel much better, 19 Nov. 2011
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I think the title is a bit exaggerated, my breakup is not the best thing that ever happened to me. I can however see why it is the right thing and because of this book I am not driving myself crazy wondering what i could have done to change things, I'm actually glad that they ended.

This book made me so how wrong the relationship was, and that love should be a happy positive thing, or it isn't worth it. It has helped me move on so quickly. You don't initially think you'll be able to move on, but what a difference this book and a couple of weeks has made.
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