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on 12 September 2014
Lamb Chops & Chainsaws by Glen Johnson

I love the way this author writes, so clean and with a dark humour. Well researched info shines through the stories giving them an authenticity. I look forward to looking up his other works.

Sods Law: This wannabe serial killer has rearranged his dingy life to become the ultimate nobody; a faceless killer. He has taken time to disguises himself well in preparation for his killing spree that seems to engulf his whole reason for being. He fantasizes about becoming the next Jack the Ripper.
Sadly the State, internet and TV are enabling him to do so.
What a way to open a book. The misery portrayed had a loud ring of truth to it, which made for uncomfy reading.
The finale is hysterical but also rather sad.

The Last Straw: A 73yr old man gets his last straw broken over a dinner choice, or lack thereof.
Jim & Elizabeth have been married 50 years and today is their anniversary, but for Jim it’s not a happy event, or is it.
Having to live with her nagging for so long something snapped in him. I had to feel sorry for Jim in part, as he describes the long, lonely, purgatory years he has endured, but then he could have just left… and he never did get to eat his lamb chops.
The warped humour in these stories just leaves you with a smirk and a grimace at the sadness of it all.

The Lord is my Shepherd: Poor Mrs. Hemp, fancy being compared to a cupcake.
Headmaster McKinney wants some sort of answer from her regarding her way ward son, what he gets is not the one he was expecting.
Whilst he eats his coronation chicken and mushroom sandwich, followed by a kitkat (but only two fingers!) she reveals the truth, the repeated days and nights of child torture whilst she and the local Father try to exorcise the demon residing in her son; it makes for excruciating reading.
The ending is twisted, but other than the sandwich which keeps popping up, there is no humour in this story, just pure horror.

Shattered Childhood: A hit woman is on a mission to complete her quest, the revenge she craves for her families death when she was 9yr old.
She has trained long and hard to become the killer she is today. Each kill marked on a precious photo.
A harrowing story but one that feels good in its karmic values.

No Conscience: Saintpatrick is a contract killer. However this time he may have taken on too much.
The sad and strange story of how he became the best in the business is carefully laid out in flashbacks.
A brief story, but quite hard hitting and not without its own level of brutal horror.

Dirty little Animals: It seems that Ms. Heart has lost her marbles.
Her early childhood memories are coming back to haunt and destroy her as she sees evil in all the little children and everything they do, or lie about.
Oddly enough any man that is around her seems to find himself dead in strange accidents.
As she enters her final day with a plan to bring all the pain to an end she unleashes all her anger.
The reasons behind her breakdown made my skin crawl.

The Red Mist-ake: Simon is transforming, he is becoming……
As he begins his spree of murders, the author is clearly enjoying the descriptions, almost reveling in the grossness!
His next chosen victim comes with a bonus addition but not all goes to plan.
Fabulous! Think this is my favourite story.

Like a son: A government trained killer goes on the run when he gets wrongly set up.
Very military in flavour and with a good dollop of survivalist paranoia. Not sure I liked this story; it was intense, sad, without humour or motive.

The A List: A serial killers finale, I loved the circular feel to this story.
The ending was exquisite and would have loved to find out about the other kills and more about this character.
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on 28 July 2013
A colleague once told me you will never truly know someone.It is true, my husband did things behind my back that i will never know about after twenty years of marriage i only know of some.This book could be scarily accurate in certain people and i am glad i cannot read minds.Some of the stories could indeed have occured in the twisted minds of some individuals.One only has to visit one of the many state hospitals in Britain to see what has passed with individuals.Carstairs,Scotlands only one is bleak on the inside as well as out.All i can say is so well done Glen,am so looking forward to reading lobsters and landmines x
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on 13 January 2013
Excellent book of short horror stories
Well written and kept my attention throughout
In fact I had to read the whole book, could not put it down,which is quite rare in my case, as I easily get bored after the first story or two
Can well recommend for all horror story lovers
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on 8 April 2014
This book is interesting, to say the least. You can't imagine what goes on in people's minds, what makes them do sick things to others. This collection of stories certainly worth reading if you like grizzly horrific reads..
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on 27 May 2013
Yeah, really enjoyed these stories. Entertaining, and the reader doesn't have to concentrate too hard and for less than £1 the lover of modern horror can't go wrong.
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on 11 February 2013
For anybody who enjoys a good horror story and has a morbid fascination. I strongly recommend. Johnson brings a good sense of humour to the disturbing and macabre.
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on 22 May 2013
I really enjoyed this book. This writer has a fantastic imagination. I would definitely recommend this read. Cannot wait to read his other books. He is unique.
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on 10 August 2013
Truly, i have not read such an exceptional book in a long time. Curiously written, leaving tge reader to ponder on the horror for hours to come. Phenomenal!
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on 20 December 2013
An excellent collection of short stories with a twist at the end. Especially enjoyed the last story, lots of blood and gore which is right up my street.
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on 2 January 2014
I really liked this book, each story was an interesting read and some were downright scary. I will quite happily read this over and over. :)
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