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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on 24 February 2013
I read the other reviews & was really looking forward to this; it was not a good read.

The story just starts. There is no explanation of who the characters are or why they find themselves where they are. There is little character development, the relationships are shallow, there isn't much of a story and the language is poor. I thought this had been written by a child until I checked the author's bio. I got this as a freebie, but I wouldn't bother with the rest of the series, even if they were free as well.

If you like a well written book with a gripping story, there are many, many better ways to spend your time!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on 27 June 2013
The premise had potential; the world intriguing. It was spoiled, however, by the writing.

It read like it was written by a very bad fanfiction author or a child. There were numerous mistakes in spelling, grammar and syntax. Tenses were also misused. It was like trying to read something that was thrown together in five minutes.

Onto the characters. Thalia. What can I say about this two dimensional character? She was whiny, annoying and unsympathetic. She was tortured for months, yet all the fall-out from this was a couple of nightmares. I mean, seriously, no ptsd, no long months of healing emotionally and physically. It was almost as if the author couldn't be bothered to realistically portray Thalia's supposed suffering, and in doing so, rendered her completely useless as a character. As for Joss, he was the typical pretty boy, self absorbed and the books' wanna-be hero. Unfortunately, he is not. He is defunct.

The interactions between the characters was unbelievable. Take, for instance, the Adepts' reaction when Thalia arrives at the Citadel. No one who reacted toward someone they were told was tortured would treat a victim like that if they had an ounce of compassion and the emotional capability of a two year old. Said two year old is more emotionally advanced than half the characters in the book. The only one who had even an ounce of credibility was the bully, and even she is so utterly unmemorable that I cannot remember her name ten minutes after finishing the book.

I don't care about what happens next top the characters as the author failed to create that link between reader and character.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on 27 April 2013
Please, when reading this review, take into consideration that I gave up trying at only 13% in, so my review is based on my experience up to that point.

It is a huge issue for me when a book is badly edited. The numerous spelling, syntax and grammar errors that swamp this book were my main reason for putting it down and being unable to pick it back up again.
I agree with the reviewer who says it gives it a rushed feel.
The text is plagued with bad punctuation, out of context, incorrectly used words, and spelling errors.

The story itself I felt started out interesting enough, strong, but then seemed to very quickly grind to a halt. After the first chapter the author seems to begin to drag the story out as much as possible. The complete lack of need for the ridiculous amount of description over the smallest and most pointless things became too dull to bear.
I was really looking forward to reading this, but was sorely disappointed. The book failed to keep my interest and is too poorly written to merit points on that account.

EDIT: I'm sorry, I was browsing newer reviews and had to edit my own to point out that the general standard of people who find the grammar here acceptable are submitting reviews such as this:

Best book, 10 May 2013
By
hannah - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: The Iron Butterfly (The Iron Butterfly Series) (Kindle Edition)
This book is on of the best books ive read.Your glued to the page and dont want to put the book down i cant wait to read the next one:)

--

So, if you see nothing wrong with the above review, you'll probably enjoy the book :) If that review alone makes you want to shout at your screen, you probably won't.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 10 May 2013
This is a really weird one to review. I don't really understand how so many of the previous reviews can be so positive. Truly, baffling. But anyway, to the point:

I was intrigued by the concept of this story and, even after finishing it, I do still like the concept. It definitely has potential. For some reason, I did like the characters even though they really need developing. In fact, on the whole, I did enjoy this read. However...

I hate to be blunt, but I feel the reviews for this ebook ought to be balanced a little. In all honesty, the writing quality leaves much to be desired. It starts okay, really gripping, etc. I really thought I had found a little gem. Unfortunately, as I read on, the writing got steadily worse. What started out as the odd comma missing quickly turned into the word 'ridiculous' being spelled as 'ridicules', and 'excited' as 'exited'. Words are misused, grammar needs to be checked. In short, this needs a good edit.

The characters... Again, need developing. A lot of the time, I found them two dimensional. The plot, while fairly good, needs tightening.

In short, if I were reviewing by quality of writing, I'd have given this ebook 2 stars. Maybe even 1 star. But something did pull me through to the end of the book, and I have to acknowledge that.

If writing standards don't bother you, and you're looking for a quick, free, read then go for it! But I do feel I ought to warn you. This is nothing "amazing". It's okay.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on 25 April 2013
The book immediately grabs your attention with the first chapter and you are compelled to find the answers.
You go on a journey with the lead character and can feel the emotions through the first person narrative.

My criticism of the book lays with several typos and grammatical errors that kept cropping up giving me the sense the book had been rushed. I also felt character relationships could have been expanded on. The book started strong, but I found it ended too abruptly.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 15 May 2013
The first chapter really draws you in, it's very strong and emotional and, in comparison to the rest, it's well written. Sadly, after the first chapter the whole thing goes downhill. It's almost as though the writing has been taken over by someone else. Everything becomes drawn out and dull, there's nothing at all to hold my interest, the characters are wooden feeling, empty, hollow, unfleshed. The dialogue doesn't flow well and there are misused words all over the place. Bad grammar and a boring plot line made me give up without finishing.
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on 25 May 2014
When the book started it seemed a little more unique than the average young adult fantasy novel, although it soon hit the clichés of:
*Poor friendless nobody finds their way to the big city
*Suddenly find they have amazing powers
*Are trained in a school/academy and have to put up with bullies
*Yet still manage to make important people admire them
*Find out they are really someone very important after all (because stories about servants and ordinary people just aren't interesting?)

As previously mentioned the book also has a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. However, I really enjoyed it! It is an easy quick read and has enough plot to keep you reading in one sitting. The fantasy world created is interesting and has a few unique ideas to make it stand out. There were some good supporting characters and Kael is the most interesting by far and I would be interested in reading the second book to find out more about him. The ending felt slightly rushed and clearly was designed to just follow straight into the next book without pause. I would be interested in reading the sequel.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 21 July 2013
I read about half this book and then gave up as the style was quite juvenile. I wish books would say if they are for young adults as, being rather mature, I am not interested in them. The story was hard going as it did not seem to get very far very quickly in fact half way through the book I had little idea of what was happening, again a fault of authors who extend their stories beyond one book.
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on 10 September 2014
After finishing the latest installment in the 'unfortunate fairy tale' series, I decided to look and see what other books Chanda Hahn had written. I bought this one and immediatly started reading. The first chapter seemed very dark, and I wasn't too sure where it was going, and so I almost put it down, but I'm so glad I didn't! The characters are beautifully crafted, in particular the heroine Thalia, and the first person narrative gives you a chance to explore the world through her eyes. The world Hahn has created is full of mystery and possibilities and the story line itself was completely gripping and very fast paced. Nothing felt rushed however, and the plot flowed smoothly. I honestly just couldn't put the book down! I haven't enjoyed a book so much in ages and I can't wait to read the next one, especially after that ending!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 26 June 2013
This was an ok read but I did find it quite repetitive. It was not very well written with some obvious gramatical errors and I think that the main character was really annoying. However I enjoyed the story.
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