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Slight Design Flaw
on 5 March 2016
You have to love headphones with remotes and mics. They make life so much easier. And indeed fun. For example, the other day, I had gone for a walk in the park, to enjoy the sun. I had my headphones on, listening to Ultravox's classic album Lament. (Some people might not view Lament as a classic album, but for me, it was the last good Ultravox album, and it included the hit single Dancing with Tears in my eyes; a song which signalled the end of post-punk new wave's obsession with apocalypticism. I digress.)
Anyway, while I was listening to the album, my wife called me. First phone call taken using the new headphones! Joy! I had quite a chat with my wife, who was calling to tell me about some hilarious office antics at her workplace. I can't share that story here, as I must protect the innocent! Anyway, my wife's voice was a little bit quieter than the music I had been listening to, so I tried to up the volume using my headphone remote control facility. Disaster! I accidentally ended the call! How could this happen, you may ask? Was I a clumsy, fat-fingered oaf with little respect for the device or, indeed, his spouse? I say thee nay! It turns out that in an example of spectacular design oversight, the remote on this set of headphones cannot adjust the volume!
'No!' I hear you cry.
But it is the truth! You can pause and skip music, take and end calls... but you cannot adjust volume! What is the purpose then of this abominable piece of kit? What black-hearted misanthrope signed off on this design?
Anyway, I reestablished the call with my beautiful, if somewhat miffed, wife. But such was my confusion that whilst walking and talking, I missed my turning in the park, and had to double back. Picture, if you will, this: I appear, from a distance to be talking to myself while wandering in a confused state around a park filled with children and concerned parents!
So, if my face turns up on Crimewatch, I blame YOU, JVC. Yes. I. Blame. You.
Disgruntled of Chorley.