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37 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best parenting book I've read., 21 Feb 2003
By 
E. Foley (Cork, Ireland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This short book is the best parenting book I have read - and indeed helps so much in marriage and other relationships too. The theory is that we all have one of five ways of giving and receiving love, and if you understand yours and other peoples, it helps to understnad their reactions, motivations etc. It is excellent. Knowing my 'love language' and my husband's has helped me so much. It is a really quick read and a very simple idea, but I found it really helpful.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars great book, 2 Aug 2010
this book is very good, its very similar in ways to the marriage one, but very useful in helping to understand and developing your kids.
only suitable though when your kids are old enough to answer the questions, although my 3 year couldn't i was able to work out his love lanugage.
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best parenting book I have read., 21 Feb 2003
By 
E. Foley (Cork, Ireland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This short book is the best parenting book I have read - and indeed helps so much in marriage and other relationships too. The theory is that we all have one of five ways of giving and receiving love, and if you understand yours and other peoples, it helps to understnad their reactions, motivations etc. It is excellent. Knowing my 'love language' and my husband's has helped me so much. It is a really quick read and a very simple idea, but I found it really helpful.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars eSSENTIAL rEADING for pARENTS, 7 Aug 2010
INTRO:
Gary Chapman once again delivers a best-seller ("over 600,000 sold") by applying the 5 Love Languages to children.

AUTHORS:
Ross Campbell is the source of visdom behind this book. He "is the author of 'How to Really Love Your Child' which sold over one million copies. He is an associate professor of pediatrics and psychiatry."
Gary Chapman "is ... the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars and his radio program airs on more than 100 stations."

CONTENT:
Amazon.com allows you to have a Look Inside (where one will find the Table of Contents). While I have read the Five Love Languages (men's edition) before, and was familiar with the topics, the books first 6 chapters left like a review.

What I liked about the format of the book is that:
1) it is a pretty short book and very easy to read (only 212 pages)
2) each love language chapter ends with a list (Action Plan)of ideas and activities for parents to do and show their child the specific love
3) individual chapters on anger (especially passive-aggressive), discipline, and learning.
4) book ends with a list of suggested further reading and an Assessment Game.

The followings are excerpts from the book that will give you some flavor about its content:

LOVE IS THE FOUNDATION - Chapter 1
- "perhaps the way that has the greatest potential for has is to not properly communicate love to our children ... Love is the foundation to a secure child who grows into a giving, loving adult." (pg.7)
- "training our children and teenagers to manage anger is the most difficult task of parenting. ... discipline (chapter 8) .. two key words .. pleasant and firm." (pg.8)
- "Speaking your child's primary love language does not mean he or she will not rebel later. It does mean your child will know you love him, and that can bring him security and hope; it can help you to read your child to responsible adulthood. Love is the foundation. ... Only the child who 'feels' genuinly loved and cared for can do her best." (pg.16)
- "We must fill our children's emotional tanks for them to operate as they should and reach their potential. ... necesarry to train and/or discipline our children - but only after their emotional tanks have been filled." (pg.17)
- "we give and show love to our child all the time, even when her behavior is poor. ... A child's emotional tank must be filled before any effective training or discipline can take place" (pg.20)
- "universla need of children .. healthy self-esteem .. security and safety .. develop relational skills ... Success in all parts of life is contingent on understanding and respecting authority." (pg.22)
- "the emotional foundation of life is laid in the first eighteen months of life, particularly in the mother/child relationship. The 'food' for future emotional health is physical touch, kind words, and tender care." (pg.23)
- "The sad thruth is that few children feel unconditionally love and cared for. And yet, it is also true that most parents deeply love their children. Why this terrible contradition? The main reason is that few parents know how to transfer their heartfelt love to the hearts of their children. ... Of course, it is good to feel loved and to verbalize it, but this is not sufficient to make a child feel loved unconditionally. They respond to actions -what you do with them. So to reach them, you must love them on their terms, or behaviorally." (pg.25)
- "Your children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them. .. Children need all five languages of love to keep their emotional tanks full." (pg.26)
- "If your child is under age five, don't expect to figure out his primary love language. You can't. .. Just speak all five languages." (pg.27)

LEARNING AND THE LOVE LANGUAGES - Chapter 9
- "Children are more emotional 4than cognitive; they remember feelings more readily than they do facts. .. never criticize or humiliate .. When you respect your child, she will respect you and your viewpoint. .. For a child to be able 'to learn well at any age leve, he must be at the emotional maturational leve of that particular age level.' .. the most important .. emotional maturity" (pg.139)
- "emotional development can make a tremendous difference in the child's learning readiness and process, and this is where4 parents can help the most. We can prime our child's learning pump by continually filling his emotional tank." (pg.140)
- "Such antiauthority attitudes and behaviors are caused by two things: empty emotional love tanks and a lack of training in how to handle anger in a mature way. .. The most troubling behavioral problem that affects learning is passive-aggressive behavior." (pg.142)
- "If your last encounter in the morning and your first encounter in the evening is to speak the primary love language of your chilren, you will be performing one of your most meaningful deeds of the day. And, this just may have a positive impact on their motivation for learning." (pg.149)

ANGER AND LOVE - Chapter 10
- "At the root of most problems in society is mishandled anger" (pg.151)
- "As an emotion, anger is not always expressed for righteous reason. It often becomes irrational and we do not control it; it controls us. ... Anger is a little understood emotion - why we feel i4t, how we express it, and how we can change the way we deal with our frustrations. Unless we as parents know what anger is and how we can handle it in appropriate ways, we will not be able to teach our children what to do when they feel angry. Yes, 'when', for we all - parents and children - get angry every day. ... if your child learns to handle anger well, he will have a great advantage in life. Most of life's problems will be averted and your child will be more able to use anger to his advantage, rather than to have it work against him. ... Few adults have mastered appropriate ways to handle anger. One reason is that most anger is expressed subconsciously .. another .. few adults have made the transition from immature to mature means of dealing with anger." (pg.152)
- "Parents who have not learned to control their own anger are not likely to train their children how to do it." (pg.154)
- "A child's immature handling of anger is a primary reason the child will reject the parent's spiritual values." (pg.155)
- "passive-aggressive behavior .. is a subconscious determination to do exactly opposite of what an authority figure wants." (pg.156)
- "all anger must come out either verbally or behaviorally. ... practice the basic parental parameters: be pleasant but firm." (pg.162)
- "Always remain pleasant but firm. .. Let him know that you are not going to condemn him. .. Commend your child for the things she did right. .. Help your child take a step up the Anger Ladder." (pg.163)
- "give your child a request rather than a prohibition. .. your training plus your good example of handling anger in a mature fashion, will help your child .. love is looking out for another person's interests and seeking to meet her needs." (pg.164)
- "Processing anger and then training your children to deal with it in a mature way is one of the hardest parts of parenting." (pg.165)

OPPORTUNITIES - Epilogue
- "speaking your child's love language won't end all problems" (pg.193)
- "I (Gary) dream of a day when all children can grow up in homes filled with love and security, where the developing energies can be channeled to learning and serving rather than craving and searching 4for 4the love they did not receive at home." (pg.195)

CONCLUSION:
If you are a new parent (like myself) or one with grown kids this book will be a fountain of inspiration and resource on how to better show your love to your kids and even on how to use love effectively as a tool towards discipline, learning, and even dealing with anger and passive-aggressive behavior.

Thank you for reading this review and your votes!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A very good parenting book, 13 Nov 2013
By 
Caterina (UK) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
This is really rewarding and practical book that I would recommend to any parent. I cam to it fresh from reading "Detoxing Childhood", a book that I found negative and patronising and that left me feeling inadequate and guilty. This book was such a relief. Its implicit starting point seems to be that parents know their own children best, that they have their best interests at heart, are fundamentally good and competent people, and will benefit from some practical suggestions. The writers seem to assume that families come in all shapes and sizes and work patterns etc and don't appear to have any interest in trying to make anyone feel bad, just in making positive suggestions. The basic premise is that children express and receive affection, primarily, on one of five ways. These are described in the initial chapters, with subsequent chapters on discipline, learning, anger, single parent families, and a final chapter on marriage. I have to admit that I was initially rather sceptical about the premise, but the astonishing fact is that it really seems to work. I have been able to identify the fact that my two older sons (it only works for the over 5s) communicate and receive affection best in different ways, and this really has made a difference to my interactions with them.

One thing you should be aware of if you are considering this book is that the writers are obviously committed Christians. However if (like me) you're not one yourself, I really would not be put off by this. It is not at all intrusive, and what comes across most strongly is the sense that both are very decent people.

I have found most parenting books to be a waste of time and money, either platitudinous (Steve Biddulph) or negative (Sue Palmer). But this one I would recommend.
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5.0 out of 5 stars All the greatest communication skills in the world won't build excellent relationships ..., 5 Nov 2014
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This review is from: The 5 Love Languages of Children (Kindle Edition)
A book totally focused on making practical changes to maximise positive outcomes in relationships. All the greatest communication skills in the world won't build excellent relationships unless you speak the other person's love language. Also teaches why disciplining in a love language can not only hurt, but DEEPLY DAMAGE your relationship with your child. This was an 'ah ha' moment for me after 15 years of parenting, as to why some of my children need one style of discipline, and others need different. Smacking/ time out/ strong verbal correction if used with the wrong love language totally backfires, because they leave a deep wound beyond which the child cannot hear your message. I've been able to apply this to my marriage too. (No spanking parents or children around here, but using for reference as if your child is kinesthetic and thrives on healthy touch, then it's *never* going to work, and that's why!).

Recommend to all parents, couples, and teachers!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read, 26 May 2014
By 
G. Mather (uk) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The 5 Love Languages of Children (Kindle Edition)
A must read for parents/ prospective parents grandparents alike - very interesting and even helps you understand your self better
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5.0 out of 5 stars My daughter suffers from anxiety and my doctor recommended this book, 17 July 2014
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C O'Neill - See all my reviews
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My daughter suffers from anxiety and my doctor recommended this book. It's a very easy read and is full of ideas. I didn't realise that by refusing to get my daughter a glass of water whenever she asked (because I thought it would encourage her independence), was denying her some love via an act of service. To her getting her a glass of water shows that I love her very much. Although I show her lots of love in other ways it made me realise that there is more that I could do to give her love that meant more to my daughter. My eldest daughter is very different and what works for her doesn't necessarily work for my youngest. I would recommend this book to anyone with children.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely Useful Book, 5 April 2014
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Having watched Danny Silk’s Defining The Relationship series multiple times, i was familiar with the concept of love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I think learning about love languages is brilliant and if you don’t know anything about them then you really should.

This book focuses on the concept of love languages and how you can apply them with your children.

Content wise, the book was amazing. I feel like i have been equipped with so many tools on how to truly love our children when the time comes. Whether you are planning on having children, already have children, or all of your children have grown up and moved out, you will still benefit from reading this book.

Considering the book was written by two authors, it flowed extremely well. There was no disjoint and you couldn’t even tell the difference between who was sharing.

Overall this was a well written, interesting and extremely useful book that i think will hugely benefit a parent’s relationship with their children. If you have not read this book, then you must, no question about it.
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5.0 out of 5 stars a great read for all parents. really helps to connect with your children in a loving way., 29 Mar 2014
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This review is from: The 5 Love Languages of Children (Kindle Edition)
Calling all parents. This book is brilliant to realise what your child really needs from you. It has really helped me
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