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4.5 out of 5 stars18
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on 16 May 1998
This is the book that Dr. Drew on "LoveLine" recommends to his listeners.
This book will help you understand your behaviours in relationships and the driving force behind your behaviours. Primarily it deals with narcissism disorder, borderline peronality disorder, fear intimacy, abandonment depression and separation anxiety and how these underlying disorders manifests itself in your relationships. He describes the theories which explain the behaviour and then describes real life cases of people with these disorders and how they conduct themselves in relationships. After reading this, you will better understand your defenses that help the false self prevail over the real self and how to develop the real self so that you can express yourself genuinely in your life. You will also know how to recognize these behaviours in others and know which people to watch out for and know when you are engaging in descructive relationships. It really gives you some insight into yourself and others' actions. This is a great book for anyone looking to engage in some self therapy and discovering oneself. I highly recommend it.
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on 20 May 2011
This book was excellent and just what I needed to hep me understand the difference between who I adapted to being and the real me. It also helped me understand why it is better to be your real self and not what others want you to be. I found some really useful tools and stratergies and it certainly gave me a lot to reflect on. I have re read it and it is still a good read. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to be true to themselves. Excellent
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on 18 August 2015
I found this very interesting and learnt more about the subject of personality disorders, which interest me.
Some of it needed a second read to get to grips with, and some sections are really only of interest to a professional.
So the author has partly succeeded in producing a book which is of interest both to professionals and lay people.
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on 21 November 2015
Some interesting bits, but you can spend all your life focussing on problems, and that in itself can get you down even more. I got out of the book what I could, but let's face it - everyone has problems; everyone is a bit mixed up somehow. Not everyone is unfortunate to be labelled with personality disorders, even though they have messed up lives.
If this book helps you - great, but remember you still have personality. Not everything in you and your life is bad. If you need to sort out the 'bad' bits, then have the courage to do it. Life takes a lot of courage, especially if you have struggles that others don't have. BUT look at all the positive stuff in you; dig it out and go for gold. There is a better life out there if you want it. A lot of it is common sense. Sometimes we may need a bit of help too, but don't allow yourself to get bogged down with problems. Pick yourself up, even if you stumble many times. You CAN do it! Good luck!
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on 28 February 2015
Very well written, clear, no rarefied jargon. As a physician interested in contemporary psychotherapy found it a real pleasure to read it. After this you may want to go deeper ... Kohut, Kernberg ... not if you are not well motivated !
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on 14 March 2010
If you ever feel that you put an act on in front of people or that you don't truer to your values this is the book for you. Unlike the many other "pseudo psychology" self - help books that use vague, overblown language about the 'mystical' dream-like experience of finding oneself with easy answers and no results of which I have read many, this is the real deal. Very practical and down to earth, written by a very considerate and professional psychiatrist. Just a very good book, easy to understand that I'm sure you won't regret buying.
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on 3 March 2013
Excellent book, could not loosen my grip on it. VERY insightful and saw many features in my own personality ! Would recommend to anyone interested in psychotherapy,or personality disorders .
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on 12 September 2009
A best selling book and now I know why. It deseves it. A brilliant book to discover your own strengths and weaknesses
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on 3 January 2016
Really interesting stuff interspersed with some boring, long-winded stuff. Certainly worth reading but a pity it has to be padded out with some rather dull and overstated bits.
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on 5 August 2001
Masterson may be on to something in the title of this book (as was Lasch). A hundred years from now, "personality disorders" may be thought of as a cultural artefact, the product of mass delusions. That the book tackles an enormous range of human behaviour under the same clinical heading weakens its usefulness. Still, it is an interesting tour de horizon of personality disorders, the functions of the False Self, and the ways to revive, nourish, sustain, and "re-activate" the dilapidated True Self (rarely successfully - something the book cheerfully omits to mention)...
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