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3.4 out of 5 stars16
3.4 out of 5 stars
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The movie opens with a high level party which includes many nude call girls. Cat (Paz Vega), one of the escorts at the party who managed to keep her clothes on, witnesses the killing of multiple guests, including other girls, is on the lam. She steals a car and phone from two Americans who provide the comic relief for the film (Alphonso McAuley and Scott Mechlowicz). McAuley talks Scott into being a detective, "C'mon man. Be a dic." They open up an office in a porno theater with secretary D.L. Hughley.

The nasty killing incident was caught on tape. Cat steals the hard drive from a computer before she leaves the party. An assassin, Helen aka Virginia Wolf (also goes by Emily Bronte), is called in to kill her. Played by Janet McTeer she reminded me of Helen Mirren in "Red". She has a dry humor to her as she is a polite "Mary Poppins" killer. In one scene she apologizes to a man she has tortured for "taking up so much of his morning...but you do understand my need to be thorough." She also has her own theme music (Zombies' "She's not there") which is part of the fun.

The whole world is searching for the missing Paz. Our hero detectives decide to make her their first case. Paz scams her way across Europe (funny how guys want to help a beautiful woman sporting legs and cleavage) and from TV news shows she realizes the killings involved an important US government official.

The movie creates wonderful characters. It has numerous funny lines and some with sexual innuendos, for instance:

Hughley claims the shark ate his wife piece by piece. McAuley asks, "Didn't he eat her whole?" Hughley, "Yeah. He ate that too." While this simple juvenile humor might not work or seem crude in other movies, it was hilarious when they did it, primarily because they didn't harp on crude humor. Even the slap stick type humor was funny because it was quick and they didn't dwell on it. This is a 5 star movie even without the nudity. The movie works better as a comedy than an action film. Dasa Zivkovic who represented Montenegro in the Miss Universe pageant is Jieva, a girl that McAuley meets on the beach in Montenegro.

Excellent writing and direction. McAuley as a Scotsman, painfully impressive.

Parental Guide: Full frontal nudity ("Debbie, Susi, Bubbles, Mila Savina"...not Paz), sex, good use of Zombie cover track, some quick torture scenes.
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TOP 1000 REVIEWERon 13 August 2015
I’ve just finished watching ‘Cat Run’ and I figured I better get my thoughts down before I totally forget what I wanted to say. I’ll begin by mentioning that I’m quite happy to watch ‘bad’ films. By that I mean ‘so-bad-they’re-good’ films. I wasn’t expecting much from a film called ‘Cat Run.’ I read the blurb – working girl witnesses murder, needs protection, baddies give chase. Yeah, that’ll do me for an hour and a half of my time.

I started watching it. My first thought was, ‘Is this film dubbed?’ The voices didn’t seem to match up with the actors’ mouths and I wondered whether I was watching a foreign film (it is set mainly in continental Europe) dubbed into English. But I wasn’t. I overlooked the odd lip-syncing and continued. Sure enough, a high class escort witness a multiple murder and comes away with a hard disk containing data the baddies are after. Cue the chase.

The escort runs hither and thither, generally looking pretty attractive and little else. Then we meet our other heroes. A pair of young men who set up a detective agency help to find her. I have to say they didn’t appeal to me. The main character I found ‘wet’ and uninteresting and his friend might as well have been called ‘cliched best friend #298.’ I have to say by this time I was tuning out – checking my emails on my phone and stuff. It was all pretty dull. I may even have turned it off there and then had it not been for one thing...

Helen Bingham. If you don’t know her (and I must confess that I don’t), she’s a British actress who must be around middle age (think Helen Mirren, only about twenty years ago). Anyway, she’s hired as an assassin (yes, a middle age woman with cut-glass English accent is a bad-ass assassin – go with it) to bring in the escort and anyone who aids and abets her. In short – Helen Bingham rocks. She totally steals every scene and makes the film watchable. The heroes pale in comparison compared to her. She was so good that I had a horrible feeling that she was only going to be in it for a few scenes and I’d end up watching the rest of the film in the hope that she returns. I’m glad to say she’s in it the whole way through. And the film is all the better for it.

I won’t go into too much detail about what follows, only that if you feel like watching a sort of B-movie version of a Guy Ritchie/spy thriller chase movie (yes, it crosses genres quite broadly – there’s even a lot of black comedy thrown in there for good measure), then this one is worth it simply for Helen Bingham’s performance.
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on 7 May 2012
This is not the kind of film which I normally watch and I nearly did not watch this. Do not be put off by the opening sequence. It is not reflective of the rest of the film. The opening sequence is a bit tawdry, but the mood then changes as the film becomes one madcap romp punctuated by violence which is so clearly over the top that it is clearly not meant to be taken seriously. Having said this, however, there were a couple of scenes which I could not watch.
Janet Mc Teer plays a formidable assassin. The film is worth watching for her performance alone. She is a curious mix of sophisticated Englishwoman and ruthless killing machine. Some of her computerised acrobatics need to be seen to be believed.
On the whole, I was glad that I decided to watch the whole film.
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The cover of this DVD doesn't really show the true star of this film. Call Girl Cat (actress Paz Vega) is on the run from a government cover-up squad after stealing a vital hard drive. Two amateur detectives get in the way and are there pretty much for the comedy. The real serious assassin is Helen Bingham (played by Janet McTeer) who switches sides when she finds she's also expendable and quite frankly steals the film. Considering this is McTeer's first action film, this is even more remarkable. Her utter ruthlessness and ability to commit torture is not for the squeamish.
This film is not for youngsters and even the odd bit of nudity is tame compared to the violence but the tinges of humour ensures there is a balance.
For those who watch 'Defiance', you might find it interesting see actor Tony Curran not using his white make-up and his normal accent.
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on 18 June 2012
This really is an odd film ; tom and jerry style cartoon violence , lots of actually sexy nude women , ridiculous plot , Paz Vega looking far too thin , Janet Mc Teer [ yes it is her and she is brilliant as usual ] playing a Mary Poppins style dominatrix , bizarre unfunny americans doing teenage humour , shouty graphics out of lock stock clever .... did I hate this film or love it ???? I really dont know ???
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on 15 February 2016
wont play on any of my three machines scratched all over meant to be in good condition its not
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on 16 December 2015
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on 16 September 2014
Just lacks something that would have made it a very entertaining film - possibly more funding, and a more straight forward storyline would have helped. Has the feeling of a 60s/ 70s British spy- spoof movie but lacking a bit of charm.
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on 25 July 2015
Good B-movie. Worth a watch.
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on 2 December 2015
Very good. Thank you
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