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on 1 October 2012
This is one of the most important books I have ever read. It succintly puts together the reasons why men (basically all men, in any culture) are different from women (all women); why this creates problems of communication in a couple; and what to do about it. I found it fascinating reading and illuminating for its insights. This is a summary table I have written based on the book (sorry it does not appear as a table here because no html is allowed by Amazon. I think it summarizes the main thrust of the argument Gray makes and is spelled out in the video by Paul Dewandre (in French) Les hommes viennent de Mars, les femmes de Venus.

Man:
1) values competence,
2) reasons in sequential mode,
3) wants to resolve a problem alone,
4) is rational,
5) needs trust,
6) needs appreciation
7) is like a dolphin, wants a fish when he gets something done

Woman:
1) values relationship,
2) can do multi-tasking,
3) wants to talk about a problem,
4) is emotional,
5) needs attention,
6) needs understanding,
7) is like a garden, wants to be mantained every day no matter what.
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on 21 October 2001
I finally understand why my husband, and men in general, sometimes seem to speak a different language - we do! An excellent book and easy reading. Highly recommended to anyone interested in communicating effectively with the opposite sex.
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on 5 June 2007
I read this book in a week, not reading more than 2 hours a day! It is just amazing how it got me totally involved!

After a hard period with my boyfriend, and after my mother reccommended it to me for months, I finally decided to give it a chance. What happened is that I understood some of "common sense" things, some of which my boyfriend was trying to explain for long time unsuccessfully, because what made the difference is a clear and simple way of saying them. In a "loving" way! The author holds a PhD in psychology, and has a lot of experience so he is able to communicate his messagge in a successfull way.

Personally, it saved my relationship from sinking forever. Now I understand that I was always loved, even my "rubber band" boyfriend had the need to "pull away" to fulfill his need for independence.

I strongly suggest it to everyone, it can change your life.

The fact that it is so repetitive is because it is supposed to teach, and not just to entratain, so for the message to get through it needs to be repeated. It worked with me. Now I can't wait for my boyfriend to read it as well.

I feel like an entire new life is in front of me, thank to this book!
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on 23 February 2004
.......but now I believe that it has saved my marriage. After years of conflict, when only finance kept us together, plus the fear of being alone, I and my husband have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We have both read this amazing book, and we finally understand both ourselves and each other. Right from the first page, you feel as if you are reading about YOURSELF. And about your partner. And about the dynamic of your marriage or relationship. It is quite extraordinary. We are not unique, we are not alone. PLEASE read this book - even if you think you have a happy relationship. Maybe your partner feels differently, but dare not say so. So both read it. Do it now. A stitch in time.
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on 10 January 2010
In my humble opinion, Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus should be mandatory reading for 16 year olds in all schools worldwide. I had two relationships of 15 years+ and each went down the tubes - and to be totally honest - I didn't know why! Having read this book:
- I now know why both ended
- how much we both gave to each other - but did not know how much the other was giving
- If I had read the book much earlier, the second - even the first relationship - would still be intact - deeply loving each other
- But no regrets - we can't change the past but I am certainly looking forward to the future !!!
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on 25 June 2004
There are not many self-help books that I have found touch the fundamental basics of human nature. This book is a godsend for anyone trying to understand their man/woman, it underlines the differences between the way men and women think, once you grasp this it is much easier to understand your partner and where they are coming from. He also highlights the mistakes that we make in relationships by the way that we react to each other, understand and apply his techniques and you will avoid many arguments.
Although in some parts it gets a bit repetative the elements are there. I have read David Grays other books and this is undoubtedly his best.
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on 4 September 2010
This book is absolutely amazing!! It will provide you with insights, lessons and communication tools that you will use your whole life through. I do not doubt that if you are looking for a self help relationship book, this will fulfill your needs. Even if you are already in a great relationship, there are invaluable lessons to be learned from John Grays genius. You will have countless "OMG, is he writing this about me?!" moments.
I used to be of those self help skeptics and still think there are probably numerous books out there that don't live up to the hype, but this one really does. I won't go into any more detail on the content of the books as it has to be discovered for yourself, but I will say BUY IT NOW!!
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on 4 September 2010
Found the book a breath of fresh air compared to books I have read previously. Should be a compulsory read for all newly weds or people in relationships. Perhaps there would be less divorces and broken homes if people applied relevant information and ideas in their lives.
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on 14 October 2015
Others have mentioned how old fashioned this book is, I would agree. For the most part I think it would be unsuitable for anyone under 50 living in Western culture. However, if your boyfriend has Aspergers (sometimes described as an "extreme male personality") then this book could help him understand how to be sensitive to your emotional needs in a relationship. I bought it for this reason. It could also be useful to older people who were raised in an era where male roles were different to female roles, and this was strongly enforced by family and society. Genders roles are no longer so distinct, which is why this book could appear sexist to young people today.
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on 8 July 2014
I (female) had a falling out with my (male) best friend, dipped into this book gathering dust on my shelves and found my understanding of the row had been very one-sided. Golly, what a textbook case our upset was, evidence against free will and for determination! It was first published in 1992, two years after my ex and I split. He and I were textbook cases too. I don’t wish he’d stayed, but it’s nevertheless interesting to wonder if these insights could have turned things around. Long-winded, repetitious, more than a bit smaltzy, and on the surface the male/female stereotypes read as old-fashioned and sexist, but there’s some genuinely helpful stuff in here.
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