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68 of 81 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Battleship meets Halo
I saw the trailer and I didnt think it looked bad but it didnt really interest me enough to go and see it at the cinema. I was dragged along with my dad, brother and his friend and dad. I am glad I went.

As you all know, there have been MANY alien invasion-type movies being and have been released in the past year and this year, but among them stands a box...
Published on 14 April 2012 by The Man

versus
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Pearl Harbour with Aliens instead of Japs!
Poor plot,weak dialogue and enept acting(Liam Neeson,what were you doing in this?).
Apart from the excellent CGIs this film was rather boring.Suitable for a young audience I suspect.
I would not recommend this for the Thinking Man.
Published 13 months ago by robert stirling


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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Action Action Action, 30 Dec 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
The computer graphics are impressive and add a sense of "realism" to what is essentially a far fetched tale. Limited story line and acting. Liam Neeson is in a cameo role only.
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29 of 36 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Cackleship, 26 Oct 2012
By 
D. Krol "deano76" (bradford) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
having looked forward to seeing this for ages I finally got around to watching it. All I can say is what a MASSIVE disappointment it was.

First off, The Good things:
The special effects were mind blowingly awesome, some of the alien ships and weapons were just fantastic and looked so real on screen. And that's it!

The Bad things: Almost everything else, the script was laughable, it stole almost every cliche in the book and used them all 5 times. The dialogue was ridiculous, some of the (edited for a 12 certificate) one liners were beyond belief. The acting was attrocious for a big budget Hollywood blockbuster. Rhianna being the biggest culprit, whoever thought this girl could act needs to go see a doctor, she was awful. They also used several real life Navy veterans in the film all of which, were as wooden as an average shelf and even the old masters like Liam Neeson and Peter Macnicol were given so little screen time, they may as well not have been there.

Some of the scenes in the film were so bad they defy description. The scene where the real life Navy vets were introduced, standing at the various points on the USS Missourri is one of the corniest scenes ever put onto film. The fight scene with the real life Navy commander, (the one with the metal legs) and the 8ft armour clad alien, just has to be seen to be believed. it had me wincing with embarrasment. And lets not even talk about the scene where the captain tells his crew to drop one anchor to make the ship skid (Yes skid) out of the way of a barrage of missiles coming thier way. I swear, I thought I was a stigmatic because my eyes literally bled at that scene.

The aliens in the film are a million times more advanced than the humans and yet, they are completely devoid of any intelligence. I swear, some of the stupid things these beings do and some of the things they fall for are ridiculous.
And as for thier weapons, they constantly use rubbish weapons (giant cans of beans that explode) which do almost nothing, instead of using these giant razor ball things that are almost unstoppable and cause massive amounts of carnage. If they had used the razor balls all the time they wouldn't have bloody lost.

If the film hadn't have taken itself so seriously it would have made a good comedy.

I really haven't seen a big budget blockbuster this bad since "2012" and I'm hard pushed to decide which one is worse.

Dreadful film.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Dreadful!, 25 Oct 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
I bought this as my husband loves Liam Neeson (most men do after watching "Taken") but this film was truly awful. Maybe he had a tax bill to pay as I have no idea why he would want his name associated with it. Rhiana proved that she should stick to singing! The storyline was boring, the script shocking but the special effects...pretty good which is the only reason that I have given this film 2 stars rather than 1. Wait for it to come on tv and then watch if you have nothing better to do, don't waste money buying it.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This was a failure, and rightly so...., 1 Mar 2013
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
Hmmmm....

Loads of constant pro-Navy/war propoganda? - tick!

Stereotypical views of soldiers who are shown as drones with zero charisma? - tick!

Pretty rubbish pop star who gets her first starring role, and is.....pretty rubbish? - tick!

Viewing pretty women as objects there just to look hot and have no brains? - tick!

This is an awful film which only works if you turn the sound off so you don't the staggeringly poor actors, including Liam Neesom (who needs to stop doing action roles at his age and be a nice grandad or something) reciting cheesy lines.

It's hard to watch, although the effects are great.

It's made partly by Hasbro who were involved in making Transformers, so that's one reason why it's so awful.

Garbage, but that's insulting to garbage.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Astounding. Astonishing. Amazing. You won't believe it !, 10 Feb 2013
By 
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
Yes, it's true; this actually makes "Battle Los Angeles" look like an intellectual movie. It takes "Thud and blunder" to new depths.

"The Abyss" meets "Transformers", perhaps ? Except "The Abyss" is a good movie; this is from the same mould as "Transformers". It is awful. It is a special sort of awful.

Aside from expensive effects, this has nothing to offer at all. Script beyond risible; acting is not the right word.

Marine UFO's meet US Navy. A completely incompetent Navy, led by a total jackass, whups alien ass. The only intelligence coming from a Japanese officer. Honestly, the Navy are so awful, you really want the aliens to win.
Almost, almost, when the wrinklies take over, it almost raises a smile. However, you are in such pain by then that it can't even be a guilty pleasure like "Under Siege", because by then you're jaded by over an hour and a half of sheer torture. The aliens were at least better realised than BLA.

You won't get back any time you waste on this; if you must, jump in at about 90 minutes jump out at about 115. The dialogue is so laughable that at 2* speed you lose nothing.

One can only assume that the brilliant Liam Neeson makes the same case as Michale Caine- that they pay him for the clunkers, too.

CLUNK !

We need an expression for Science Fiction that excludes any attempt at science.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Utterly execrable, 4 Feb 2013
By 
Christopher Burns "chrisgb" (UK) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Battleship (Blu-ray + Digital Copy + UV Copy) [Region Free] (Blu-ray)
The two stars above are for some very nice CGI effects throughout, but everything about this is actually so bad it's difficult to watch. Pretty much every plot & cinematic trope/stereotype is dusted off and used without shame at every opportunity - The Patriarchal Older Brother, The Younger Brother Who's a Screw-Up, The Disabled Veteran Soldier Who Still Has What It Takes, Nerdy Scientist - and that's just for starters.

Everything about the plot is deeply stupid throughout, too, even with my allowances for a mindless action flick warmed up and brought to the forefront, and the first 20 minutes or so are genuinely hard to watch as the stereotypes start getting flung in your face. I could into detail, but frankly it just isn't worth it.

You may be curious about this film, but I like to think I watched it so you don't have to. Learn from my misfortune - bought as part of a 3-for-20-offer, I still regret it weeks later.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars TOTAL EXCREMENT, 10 Jan 2013
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
Liam Neeson was the best thing in it. Shoot em up fun all in all bright and colourful etc but the acting is awful. Leads are weak and I mean totally weak even wooden. I took nearly 4 hours to watch this as I had to bury my head between my knees and rock in a corner a few times. Only watched because I paid money to rent it. I can't believe that this film is so well received.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars AWESOME!, 13 April 2012
By 
G. Stephenson - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
BATTLESHIP was a very fun and exciting sci-fi war film. The film is from the makers of TRANSFORMERS and it does feel like those films a bit, but it was still quite original and you could see how the film was similar to the game it was based on. BATTLESHIP was definately cleverer and more enjoyable than those films, which I still like! The acting was pretty good. Liam Neeson (TAKEN, UNKNOWN, PHANTOM MENACE) and Rhianna were fantastic in the film and Taylor Kitsch (JOHN CARTER) was pretty great! The special effects were mind-blowing and made the battle scenes a lot more enjoyable! The storyline was a little thin but it was still sad, action-packed and quite funny. The start makes it look a lot like an over-the-top romantic comedy but it gets a lot more interesting later in the film. It was a bit too long though. It could have been fifteen minutes shorter and it would have been better. But I still enjoyed BATTLESHIP a lot and I will definately see it again on DVD. I recommend it if you like massively thrilling action scenes, some hilarious moments, a good cast and a fun storyline. One of the best films of 2012 so far! 9/10!
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars An Expensive Navy Recruitment Video, 29 Sep 2012
By 
Joseph Mcadam (Glasgow, Scotland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Battleship (Blu-ray + Digital Copy + UV Copy) [Region Free] (Blu-ray)
It becomes clear in the first few minutes of Battleship that we are watching a film with multiple agendas. Like Transformers, the story is as complex as a story based on a children's game can be. Our slacker hero is told it's time to shape-up and point his life in a direction that works (no doubt an appeal to any young viewers affected by the recession). Here begins the blatant military propaganda. Our man joins the Navy. We see the good life, the sports and the girls all to a thumping rock soundtrack. All designed to make joining the Navy an awesome experience (as opposed to reality). There's even numerous insert shots of American flags in various lighting states.

We meet the vets who lost their limbs for corporations...sorry, for Freedom. Cue more weak jingoism about how great it is to be a soldier. The aliens arrive, fight with the battleships, old sailors from an old war are carted out to add to the military, war loving agenda of the film. It really gets bad. If this was made in the 50's, Naval applications would have trebled. Luckily, kids these days are more savvy about the reality of war, that recent invasions are about profit and genocide, not some noble cause. I suspect this is why the film flopped - kids saw right through it.

It's a shame the film is so shallow, as it's shot so well and the CGI is faultless. A stronger plot and removal of the obvious Naval financial influence on the production could have made this a cracker. Sadly, it leaves you empty. Nothing to discuss, to debate. No dialogue worthy of repeating, no scene worthy of analysis. A big dumb film designed to attract desperate people to a desperate military machine.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars A REALLY Bad Movie, 14 Jan 2013
By 
Arch Stanton (Nottingham, UK) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Battleship (Blu-ray + Digital Copy + UV Copy) [Region Free] (Blu-ray)
I'm amazed at the stupidity of this movie. To explain why, I'm going to describe the first few minutes of the film. At the very beginning they explain how we built an entire radio array in 2006 (which will later turn out to be a radar station, because they're clearly the same thing) to contact the sole extrasolar planet within habitable range of its sun (how many radio arrays do we already have operating?). This is followed by a radio transmission in the form of a burst of energy like a phaser beam being sent out of this array via a satellite. I already knew I would hate this film.

Then to impress a girl at a bar the main character breaks into a convenience store in what's supposed to be an amusing scene set to the Pink Panther theme. Against all probability he succeeds in winning the girl with this stupid immaturity. So then his brother signs him up for the navy. Which is funny, 'cause I didn't know brothers could do that. Maybe I'll enlist mine just for kicks. The rest of the film is supposed to be him getting over this immaturity, but after such a stupid display the character has used up every smidgeon of the sympathy we naturally feel for main characters. At one point he's actually trying to get his crew killed in a suicidal attack because his brother died and he wants revenge.

Taylor Kitsch demonstrates the acting talent that make John Carter such an unbridled commercial success. He's believable neither as the mature sailor nor the immature man-child. About the only thing he can sell right is cocky incompetent. And he still gets the girl. Whoop. The moral here (as in far too many other movies of late) is that spoiled, idiot, immature boys with no self-control offer a vital dose of much needed passion into the impersonal and formal environments of modern society, and worse, that they can actually perform when it comes to crunch-time. Why Hollywood thinks we need this lesson is beyond me.

I will admit that over time I found Kitsch's obvious effort and passion charming, but it's the kind of feeling you get for a drugged puppy repeatedly walking into a wall. And it just isn't enough. Liam Neeson is in this film too. He has an atrocious gung ho American accent. There's not that much more to say about him since he spends the entire film on the wrong side of an alien force field. Genghis Khan gives probably the best performance in the film. Rihanna isn't actually that bad as a naval officer with no role. She certainly didn't deserve that Razzie. Everyone else is pretty unmemorable. The girlfriend and her entire plot features the worst acting in the film, except possibly for Peter Nicols who overplays an incompetent Secretary of Defense.

The aliens are impossibly inconsistent. When the plot decides they want them dead they're incredibly weak, yet the rest of the time the Navy's full firepower can't touch 'em. Also, they don't shoot at anyone who doesn't attack them, unless they do. And there was a big revelation I kept waiting for that would have explained the alien motivations along with why they didn't kill certain key people. But nope. Just a stereotypical psychic flash of explosions and conquests from when Kitsch looked into an alien's eyes.

Cinematically this film is all over the place. It makes a massive overuse of the 'rapidly slow down/speed up zoom in/zoom out' camera movements. The efforts that they go to to match up with the game are amusing. They have the grid laid out and everything (although apparently its weather buoys) and when the ships get hit by the aliens the missile things look like the pins you stick in the ships.

Good things: The movie has two good lines at the end, one about dying and the other about the Art of War. And the final battleship fight is pretty cool, albeit totally irrational. I think that if the whole movie had been like the last twenty minutes I'd have forgiven it a lot, but by the time you get there it's already too late.
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