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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The nightmare of famlies, 4 Mar. 2013
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M. White (Reading, UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Forsaking the family (Kindle Edition)
Like Dorothy Rowe's book "My Dearest Enemy, My Dangerous Friend" and Oliver James's "They F*** You Up", Simon Parke's "Forsaking The Family" gives comfort to those who have been trashed by the people who brought them into this world - Mum and Dad. Families are the core unit of humanity and to criticise your own is often condemned. Personally, I'm all in favour of calling a spade a spade and the shocking decline in parenting has seen a huge rise in the number and surverity of emotionally damaged children who grow up (or shall we call it - grow older) only to reproduce themselves in their own image. The problem of unloved, neglected, bullied, abused children is that they pass it on to the next generation - unless they, by some miracle, are self aware enough to know that they are damaged goods and get lots and lots of (expensive) help - or selflessly choose not to have children of their own in a last-ditch attempt to break the cycle.

In each of these books the author's have shown that it is the quality of care given to a child that determines their outcome - not their genetic mix. We can't blame violent, un-empathic children and youths on their bad genes - it's down to the way they were parented.

The books not all bleak. There are many examples of how little a caring adult has to do to light the flame of hope in such a child. A kind neighbour, a friendly school teacher or an observant parent of a class mate can give such a child a life line that they can psycologically cling to in later years.

Forgivness can only be achieved once the damage is recognised, processed and released. Recongising that all forms of abuse flow down through a family in an ever expanding cycle of destruction is a vital first step in releasing the pain. Knowing that parents were only acting on their own abusive childhood experiences is the key to forgiveness. The tragedy of families is that their victim is never released, and is often re-victimised throughout their lifetime. Few adults get the space, time, money and opportunity to undertake this reflective, healing process.

A courageous book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Jesus' family values - not, 12 Jun. 2012
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This review is from: Forsaking the family (Kindle Edition)
Methinks sometimes the gentleman doth protest too much, but Simon Parke, a 'recovering vicar' and talented writer, does a good job of demonstrating that Jesus was anything but 'pro-family', and exploring the ways in which the family can (in a sanitized version of the Larkin poem) 'muck you up'. On the plus side, he explores a model of relating to families in a more free and constructive way, and affirming relationships which create a family not necessarily based on blood ties. A provocative and entertaining read.
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Forsaking the family
Forsaking the family by Simon Parke
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