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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars excellent, straightforward and extremely helpful advice., 3 May 1999
By A Customer
I recently had the privilege of attending a lecture by John Rosemond in Simsbury, Connecticut. His humor and ability to cut right to the heart of teen problems captivated the audience and I walked out with my own signed copy of his latest book, Teenproofing. The beauty of the book is that it contains nothing revolutionary or new, just old fashioned, common sense practices that have been abandoned by most "psychobabble" parenting gurus of today. Clearly outlining the basic points of his theories into clever "c" words such as curfew, cash, car, child's choice of cohorts, conflict and consequences. Rosemond skillfully and humorously walks us through most of the common challenges parents and teenagers face. Above all, Rosemond encourages parents to "PIIP" (Put it in perspective) and reminds us that caring, well-intentioned parents just need a road map to get through their child's teen years. (Amen to that!) In the PIIP (Putting it in perspective) introduction of his book, Rosemond outlines three facts: 1. You are a responsible parent! 2. Your teen can do something really bad and still turn out okay! 3. You are not the only force in your child's life. 4. You can do the right thing, and things may still go wrong. He labels parents either "Micromanagers" or "Macromanagers" and gives valuable examples and strategies to help parents become macromanagers to their teens, thus fostering respect, learning and responsibility. Rosemond teaches parents to calmly establish clear consistent expectations and tangible consequences for misbehavior and to follow through. Sounds simple, doesn't it? An extremely helpful insight is that consequences do not need to follow immediately after the misbehavior to be effective. In fact, says Rosemond, it is beneficial to wait for a "strategic opportunity" to punish the child. This strategic opportunity punishes the child for something that may have happened hours and even days before. The fact remains that eventually, all children have to ask their parents for something: money, a ride, permission to go somewhere, etc. At this point, they are all sweetness and smiles and that is when you can strategically get the point across that their misbehavior has resulted in a consequence that they don't like and will likely learn from. His story about his daughter Amy not vacuuming the house is priceless and really hammers home the value of this important principle. I especially enjoyed the concept of the "Checkmate Move". In his book, Rosemond addresses most of the concerns and questions and frustrations parents face in raising teenagers. The final section of the book is devoted strictly to a question-answer forum where almost every conceivable dilemma is mentioned. With straightforward humor and insight, Rosemond cuts to the heart and core of the issue and doles out suggestions and advice, all designed to empower the parent in becoming a positive mentor to guide their teenager into becoming a responsible adult. Although I don't agree with some of Rosemond's casual advice regarding teenage smoking and drinking, most of his advice is beneficial and insightful. The beauty of John Rosemond's theories is their simplicity. As the parent of four children, two of who are teenagers, I have tried his methods and they work. This book is a must read for anyone with children!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It is impossible for me to be objective!, 20 Oct 1998
By A Customer
For years, people have been asking me to write a book on teens. Well, here 'tis! I combined my experience as a parent (my children are now 29 and 26) and a family psychologist in presenting a management plan--a roadmap, if you will--for parents to follow in negotiating this potentially tumultuous time in the parent-child relationship. People who read parenting books tend to be micro-managers where their children are concerned. During the teen years, this tendency has the potential of backfiring BIG TIME!!! The purpose of the book is to help parents become MACRO-managers, mentors--to help parents learn that controlling the parent-child relationship is the key to a happy parenthood during the teen years, NOT trying to control the child. Remember, God couldn't control Adam and Eve. Furthermore, He didn't try. He controlled His relationship with them, nothing more. Even though I'm a psychologist, "Teen Proofing" is devoid of psychobabble. As my readers know, I think psychology has thrown a monkey wrench into American child rearing. This is the eighth book in a series intended to get our culture back on the track of common sense where kids are concerned. Parents! Learn how to manage the six critical teenage issues: curfew, cash, cars, conflict, consequences, and co-conspirators (friends) such that your child gains FREEDOM (what he/she wants) at the same time you gain PEACE OF MIND (what you want, right?) IT CAN BE DONE!! By the way, if you want to chat with me, see my Web site at [...] Thanks for your interest in The American Parenting Renewal Project. Happy Parenting! John Rosemond.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone with teens or pre-teens should read this book, 8 Mar 1999
By A Customer
John Rosemond takes a no-nonsense approach to parenting. However, he does not teach parents how to control their kids. He teaches how to set up situations where the child learns for himself. Parents have a tendency to enable self-destructive behavior in their kids because of the "pyschobabble" they have been taught. Rosemond helps parents avoid that trap. It is about gaining control of the child by setting it up so that the child controls himself, the opposite of the "micro-manageing" that many parents fall into. I especially like the reality Rosemond introduces about our kids: that they will never be perfect, that they will probably do something we wish they wouldn't, and that they will probably turn out okay anyway. Rosemond's approach is tough, but in a realistic and not "mean" way. After reading the book, you'll probably say, "Why wasn't I doing this before?"
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An absolute must read for parents with teenage children!, 27 Dec 1998
By A Customer
The methodology and philosophy laid out by the author is simple, direct and FORTHRIGHT, yet powerful and easily applicable in most situations. Self-discipline is at the heart of our democracy, as are honesty and responsibility. Mr Rosemond tackles this very difficult subject with an open mind and a true caring for our sensitive family dialogues. Most parents are bound to improve their relationships with their kids by trying/adopting just parts of his recommendations. Even our president might be wise to incorporate some of the wisdom this book readily shares with its readers.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A Must for parents of Teenager, 15 April 2014
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Found Teen-proofing very helpful indeed. Rosemond offers very practical advice on a wide range of everyday problems and the challenges of dealing with mid teens.
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