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103 Reviews
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339 of 350 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars If you want to imagine the future...
...imagine a policeman, baton drawn, watercannon at his shoulder, standing guard over an Olympics logo, while beside him McDonalds sells more burgers to more unhealthy people than ever, and drones cruise the sky collecting data from the phones of people suspected of anti-Olympics feelings...forever.

And to get into the spirit of your inevitable future you...
Published on 27 May 2012 by Agent

versus
563 of 576 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Extremely worried
I bought this toy last week and although it arrived quickly and it seems to be well made, I have some concerns. Every fifteen minute since I've opened it out of the packaging, it will shout phrases such as 'I AM THE EYE OF PROVIDENCE', 'PAX ROMANA' and 'THE SECRET IS WITHIN THE GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA'.

I cannot find the source of the sound on the toy (speaker,...
Published on 27 May 2012 by Kyle Logan


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563 of 576 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Extremely worried, 27 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
I bought this toy last week and although it arrived quickly and it seems to be well made, I have some concerns. Every fifteen minute since I've opened it out of the packaging, it will shout phrases such as 'I AM THE EYE OF PROVIDENCE', 'PAX ROMANA' and 'THE SECRET IS WITHIN THE GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA'.

I cannot find the source of the sound on the toy (speaker, etc) and I cannot find a battery compartment either. It's beginning to worry me very much as my dog will do nothing apart from stare at it incessantly for hours on end until he collapses from exhaustion. When he wakes up, he will continue to stare again. He is unresponsive to anything and he is becoming extremely emaciated.
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508 of 520 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This Toy is Scary, 27 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
I bought one of these for my nephew but before I could give it to him, Wenlock's 'All Seeing Eye' had spotted the leaflet on my kitchen table for an anti-Olympics protest on the day after the opening ceremony. Before I knew it, the building where I live was surrounded by a special armed Olympics police unit and now I'm banned from central Stratford's "Dispersal Zone" until late September.

This is a disaster as it means I can't visit my nephew at all now, or get to the supermarket. It takes an hour longer to get to work as I can't use Stratford station, a journey that'll be even longer in the summer. Worse, I'm stuck with this tiny, creepy figurine that watches my every move. Overall, I really can't recommend this toy - the massive security around here was going to be bad enough anyway, without it figuratively intruding into my home too.
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321 of 329 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not a good buy..., 25 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
Everywhere I take this toy, I'm followed by thousands of armed soldiers.

I think they're installing missile batteries on m neighbour's house too.

If I try and protest, it's usually quickly silenced by someone pulling back a bolt on a rifle.

Probably not the best gift for a child.
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355 of 364 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars ACAB, 20 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
I bought this toy to take on my Olympic Journey as suggested by the technical details. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning to find that it had left its case, called in reinforcements and kettled me in my bed.

I'm just glad I didn't buy the water cannon or Long Range Acoustic Device accessories.
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330 of 339 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sinister Tat, 27 May 2012
By 
S Brind "s0b" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:2.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
Don't get me wrong, I am as much a fan of sinister corporate tat as the next man. The next man in this instance is my 15 month toddler who likes to put things in his mouth. But this "Wenlock" appears to be a cyclops with a tit on his head. I find it frightening. I'm a 42 year old man and this ... thing ... is like something that has escaped from a remake of Sapphire and Steel.

It doesn't make me feel safe. It makes me feel violated; as though someone has spent the money I gave them for health and education on something expensive for their mates.

Whilst I am certain that it may have uses as a scarecrow or a very uncomfortable sex toy I can't put it on my shelf because it seems to be screaming at me "Guilty! GUILTY! GUILTY!!"
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330 of 339 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Panopticon in my Pocket, 9 Jun 2012
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
Also known as "My Little Drony", this plastic Beelzebub all-knowingly looks into my very thoughts like the Eye of Sauron in in a hat. The five Olympic rings were forged in the fires of Mordor, and I know that Wenlock wants them, to gain supreme power over the human race, on behalf of Adidas, BP, Dow Chemical, McDonalds, and all the other hoardes of Satan, I mean, sustainability partners. I know that Wenlock can hear me typing - he can scent that I've used the word Olympics in a non-corporate approved manner, diluting his unholy brand image. I fear I haven't got much time... He is at the window... I... OH GOD... PLEASE... NO!
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368 of 378 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Erm..., 28 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
Since buying this toy, my neighbours collection of Gollies have all been unduly harassed or locked away in a cupboard for no reason.
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255 of 262 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars My other Figurines are no fun anymore, 27 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:5.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
The figurine is well presented, and is delivered in an impregnable brutalist inspired box. When it first arrived it spent some time telling me about how it didn't do so well in school, but really wanted to be a useful member of society by helping protect the people around it. The uniform makes it a bit difficult to distinguish one Wenlock Figurine from another, and there was no serial number on the packaging. I have heard that if several Wenlock Figurines are put near each other they can form a "kettle" and get mixed up, so I used tipex to mark the foot of mine. It must be something to do with the plastic but I keep having to reapply the mark. I put this figurine on a shelf with my collection.

My, previously good-natured happy-go-lucky, Winnie-the-Pooh figurine has started to get up early each morning to catch the tube and slumps in front of the TV every night when he gets home. I keep finding pots of Pooh's honey on Wenlock's section of the shelf.

Paddington Bear has fared even worse. I have found a number of cylindrical bruises on various parts of Paddington's body. And every time Paddington goes to the train station Wenlock follows him there and then searches Paddington's bags.

I keep finding Peter Rabbit locked in my desk drawer with Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cotton-tail. When I get them back out, Wenlock starts telling all my other Figurines where they have been.

Wenlock won't let Big-Ears work with Noddy any more although when I reviewed the paper work it seemed Wenlock had miss-spelt Noddy's name as "King Herod".

My Bob-the-Builder now has 7 holes in his head and most of my other toys seem to have ink on their hands.

Every time I look, Worzel Gummidge seems to be sitting in a different place. Shortly after I purchased a die-cast Boeing 747, Mole simply vanished!

Strangely though, my original 1930s Toad-of-Toad-Hall figurine seems to have been unmolested and now has half of the shelf entirely to himself.
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227 of 233 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Panopticon of the Law, 25 May 2012
= Durability:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
This beautifully presented cyclopean bobby accurately represents the inhuman policemen that we have come to know and love. The effect is however ruined by the ghastly London 2012 logo which resembles Lisa Simpson giving head, so I would warn potential parents that this product may not be suitable for children.
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154 of 158 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Institutionalised racism, 28 May 2012
= Durability:3.0 out of 5 stars  = Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars  = Educational:2.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Olympic Mascots Wenlock Policeman Figurine (Toy)
I bought this product admist my ever so keenness for the Games of the XXX Olympiad. However when it arrived it knocked down the door in a raid, pinned me down and falsely arrested me for conspiring a bomb plot for mass murder during this summer's sporting events. As a result I was locked in jail for a month and had my Olympic event tickets revoked as I've been slapped with a court order restraining me from the premise of the Olympic site 'for safe measure'. Fortunately, I've been reimbursed for the tickets and saved myself a fortune but not compensated for the toy.

The sellers later informed me that there was an error in the "intelligence-led" operation of the shipping of this product.
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