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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly entertaining satire
A very funny satire on self-publishing, self-help, and self-abuse. Well, maybe not so much the last one. John Locke receives particular attention, as the title should make clear, but this isn't just a straightforward parody of 'How I Sold 1 Million eBooks in 5 Months!', rather it's a wry look at the kind of approach Locke, and others like him, puts forward...
Published on 20 July 2011 by Craig Cripps

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars Gerald Ratner would be pleased
Cover 4/5 - Write and sell ?

Content - Certainly no dull read on the subject ... but far too long. Hardly surprising given his ease with words. Interesting spotting the real from the parody. The real as usual easier said than done. Even in time Gerald Ratner wrote a book about his gaff!

I read on ...

Alexander of the Allrighters and Ywnwab!
Published 6 months ago by Alexander Kreator


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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly entertaining satire, 20 July 2011
By 
Craig Cripps (London, UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
A very funny satire on self-publishing, self-help, and self-abuse. Well, maybe not so much the last one. John Locke receives particular attention, as the title should make clear, but this isn't just a straightforward parody of 'How I Sold 1 Million eBooks in 5 Months!', rather it's a wry look at the kind of approach Locke, and others like him, puts forward.

There are many laugh out loud moments, and while I felt that the book could have been trimmed a little (it's the fact that some sections felt like they went on a bit too long which led to me giving the book four stars, rather than five), it's a thoroughly entertaining read nonetheless.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Parody, 27 Jan 2012
By 
Amazon Customer (Stratford-upon-Avon, UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
To really get the full humour in this book, you need to have read How I Sold 1 Million eBooks in 5 Months! and preferably several other ebooks about how to slap a book out on Kindle which then has J.K. Rowling crying herself to sleep each night because of the competition.

There is delightfully savage wit throughout - very funny, but not for the fainthearted and easily offended.

Although a complete parody, the book is actually quite educational, especially in the chapter about writing skills. If you read this and do the exact opposite, then you'll have learnt more than most of the 'How to Write Well' type books in the market and will certainly find it a lot more entertaining.

My only criticism is that, as the previous reviewer has commented, it does drag a little in the middle (although picks up again at the end).

Maybe in the promised sequel, he will pick up on the trick where you just need to add a few lame photos or pieces of clipart in the book to bump up the file size to half a Meg and no one knows that they've bought a pamphlet rather than a full book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amusing and probably more accurate than the usual how to books, 30 Nov 2011
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
This was very amusing. Even if you haven't read any self- publishing guides or indeed any self-help stuff it is still a very funny read. If you have read any of those types of books it does a very good job of parodying them and they certainly need that.

I laughed out loud on a few occasions and having read a few writing and self publishing guides I recognised a lot of the behaviours that it was making fun of. I expect that this book probably comes much closer to explaining the sudden success of some authors than their own claims do.

I was wary of the book at first as its title is "How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Even if Drunk, High or Incarcerated). As I am Drunk, high AND incarcerated I thought that I might have to wait for the sequel.

However I am happy to report that this book is responsible for me unleashing my writing talents on the world.

Look out for my stunning self development opus " The seven habits of the lazy man's guide to awakening the giant within whilst facing fears of making chicken soup for the soul."

I have noticed that there is a dearth in the market of crime novels featuring a maverick cop who doesn't obey the rules and gets the job done and whose bosses never trust him despite him regularly solving innumerable "unsolvable crimes" in hardly any time, virtually always on his own and with minimal resources.

Maybe to add depth to the character I will portray him as being psychologically scared form the Cod war and unable to walk into a branch of Iceland's without suffering from flashbacks.

Russell Blake is the Bernie Madoff of self-publishing and there can be no higher praise than that.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Gerald Ratner would be pleased, 29 Jun 2014
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
Cover 4/5 - Write and sell ?

Content - Certainly no dull read on the subject ... but far too long. Hardly surprising given his ease with words. Interesting spotting the real from the parody. The real as usual easier said than done. Even in time Gerald Ratner wrote a book about his gaff!

I read on ...

Alexander of the Allrighters and Ywnwab!
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3.0 out of 5 stars Fun and doesn't take itself seriously, 8 April 2014
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
When you're a successful indie author, as Blake is, the most important thing in life is not to take yourself too seriously, and in this book Blake shows off his sarcastic sense of humour from page one.

Pluses: It's a fun read that contains some genuine advice for indie authors, cloaked in a blanket of sarcasm and ribbing of some more serious authors (many of whom sell fewer books than Blake.)

Minus: The unvarying sarcasm bored me approx halfway through the book, and I didn't finish it. But it's cheap and entertaining, which is a hallmark of Blake's fiction too.
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1.0 out of 5 stars Is this funny sadly not, 20 Aug 2014
By 
josephine (wigan, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
You could have told me how smart you are to 'con' me in to buying this trash in one sentence. And you did, then repeated the same.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brutally Insincere - I Loved it!, 23 May 2013
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
Hahahaha, Russell Blake is brutally insincere with all the scruples of a hungry pride of lions. I loved it! People reviewing my own books either `get' me or don't, and I often suspect those who don't are affronted because they can see themselves in the writing. Blake is the same. He is an absolute piss taker who I suspect bases his own role model on the likes of Tony Robbins, Ziggy Ziglar and Pete Doherty.

HOWEVER, there is no doubt that if you were following Russell's advice to the letter you would certainly sell a gazillion e-books ..... possibly more.

I'm also given to understand that it was Blake's father who wrote the best-seller `How to Pick up More Girls' in the early seventies, so he comes with good credibility. This is a MUST BUY for all self-published authors, writers, scribblers, bloggers, song-writers and spin-doctors alike.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Highly amusing parody that outstays its welcome a little, 27 Feb 2013
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This review is from: How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Kindle Edition)
This is basically a spoof version of all the how-to-make-money-selling-ebooks claims that we all see every day. There are a lot of spot-on observations about the ridiculous claims they make, suggesting that the authors of such books rate themselves so highly they have a god complex. The most entertaining sections for me were some witty inversions of what is actually good practice for authors... such as tips on how to expand sentences until they last forever, or have a mysterious character walk in and explain the plot when you get stuck!

Although very amusing, especially to those of us who are ebook-savvy, it goes on too long. This would have worked twice as well if it had been half as long, or even a quarter as long. Even before I got to the halfway point, I was skim-reading, knowing that I would be reading something in exactly the same style as what I'd already read.

One disturbing point is that there's some tips on how to make a fortune by just copying and pasting text from websites, whacking it together into a how-to ebook and selling it. Although this is clearly comedy, it also happens a great deal, and it worries me that some people might read this book and completely miss the fact that it's satirical!

Definitely worth reading inbetween proper ebooks, but you may not get all the way to the end.
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