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3.8 out of 5 stars10
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on 20 July 2011
A very funny satire on self-publishing, self-help, and self-abuse. Well, maybe not so much the last one. John Locke receives particular attention, as the title should make clear, but this isn't just a straightforward parody of 'How I Sold 1 Million eBooks in 5 Months!', rather it's a wry look at the kind of approach Locke, and others like him, puts forward.

There are many laugh out loud moments, and while I felt that the book could have been trimmed a little (it's the fact that some sections felt like they went on a bit too long which led to me giving the book four stars, rather than five), it's a thoroughly entertaining read nonetheless.
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on 30 November 2011
This was very amusing. Even if you haven't read any self- publishing guides or indeed any self-help stuff it is still a very funny read. If you have read any of those types of books it does a very good job of parodying them and they certainly need that.

I laughed out loud on a few occasions and having read a few writing and self publishing guides I recognised a lot of the behaviours that it was making fun of. I expect that this book probably comes much closer to explaining the sudden success of some authors than their own claims do.

I was wary of the book at first as its title is "How To Sell A Gazillion eBooks In No Time (Even if Drunk, High or Incarcerated). As I am Drunk, high AND incarcerated I thought that I might have to wait for the sequel.

However I am happy to report that this book is responsible for me unleashing my writing talents on the world.

Look out for my stunning self development opus " The seven habits of the lazy man's guide to awakening the giant within whilst facing fears of making chicken soup for the soul."

I have noticed that there is a dearth in the market of crime novels featuring a maverick cop who doesn't obey the rules and gets the job done and whose bosses never trust him despite him regularly solving innumerable "unsolvable crimes" in hardly any time, virtually always on his own and with minimal resources.

Maybe to add depth to the character I will portray him as being psychologically scared form the Cod war and unable to walk into a branch of Iceland's without suffering from flashbacks.

Russell Blake is the Bernie Madoff of self-publishing and there can be no higher praise than that.
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on 27 January 2012
To really get the full humour in this book, you need to have read How I Sold 1 Million eBooks in 5 Months! and preferably several other ebooks about how to slap a book out on Kindle which then has J.K. Rowling crying herself to sleep each night because of the competition.

There is delightfully savage wit throughout - very funny, but not for the fainthearted and easily offended.

Although a complete parody, the book is actually quite educational, especially in the chapter about writing skills. If you read this and do the exact opposite, then you'll have learnt more than most of the 'How to Write Well' type books in the market and will certainly find it a lot more entertaining.

My only criticism is that, as the previous reviewer has commented, it does drag a little in the middle (although picks up again at the end).

Maybe in the promised sequel, he will pick up on the trick where you just need to add a few lame photos or pieces of clipart in the book to bump up the file size to half a Meg and no one knows that they've bought a pamphlet rather than a full book.
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on 5 April 2015
Here it is, from the words of a master of the best-seller genre, how to become the literary genius who writes books that everyone wants to read.

After all it can't be that difficult, can it? If Russell Blake can do it, then surely anyone can? Yes, with this treatise on your e-reader bookshelf you, too, can become a best selling author and retire to the flesh spots of Mexico to indulge your every fantasy. Just follow the plot laid out within and you'll be top of the Amazon best seller lists in a few short weeks.

Heck you don't even have to write a word yourself. Or even lay out precious shekels for a ghost writer. Russell shows how people will even pay you to write for you! Incredible or what?

The final chapter is the kicker. I won't spoil everything by revealing it here, but suffice it to say that just follow Russell's final dictum and you can't possibly fail at this writing business. The advice given in the last few paras of this masterly treatise are worth the purchase price of this tome a gazillion times over.

Which is what it's all about. Exactly!
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on 8 April 2014
When you're a successful indie author, as Blake is, the most important thing in life is not to take yourself too seriously, and in this book Blake shows off his sarcastic sense of humour from page one.

Pluses: It's a fun read that contains some genuine advice for indie authors, cloaked in a blanket of sarcasm and ribbing of some more serious authors (many of whom sell fewer books than Blake.)

Minus: The unvarying sarcasm bored me approx halfway through the book, and I didn't finish it. But it's cheap and entertaining, which is a hallmark of Blake's fiction too.
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on 23 May 2013
Hahahaha, Russell Blake is brutally insincere with all the scruples of a hungry pride of lions. I loved it! People reviewing my own books either `get' me or don't, and I often suspect those who don't are affronted because they can see themselves in the writing. Blake is the same. He is an absolute piss taker who I suspect bases his own role model on the likes of Tony Robbins, Ziggy Ziglar and Pete Doherty.

HOWEVER, there is no doubt that if you were following Russell's advice to the letter you would certainly sell a gazillion e-books ..... possibly more.

I'm also given to understand that it was Blake's father who wrote the best-seller `How to Pick up More Girls' in the early seventies, so he comes with good credibility. This is a MUST BUY for all self-published authors, writers, scribblers, bloggers, song-writers and spin-doctors alike.
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on 5 October 2015
This is the antidote to all of the hype about self-publishing.

I like this book because it summarises everything which is wrong with the so called 'self-publishing' industry. Covering such aspects as ghost writing, outsourcing, stealing other people's manuscripts and other fun practices.

This book pokes fun at a big problem the 'coaches' who provide advice and guidance to wannabee authors.
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on 29 June 2014
Cover 4/5 - Write and sell ?

Content - Certainly no dull read on the subject ... but far too long. Hardly surprising given his ease with words. Interesting spotting the real from the parody. The real as usual easier said than done. Even in time Gerald Ratner wrote a book about his gaff!

I read on ...

Alexander of the Allrighters and Ywnwab!
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on 20 August 2014
You could have told me how smart you are to 'con' me in to buying this trash in one sentence. And you did, then repeated the same.
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on 27 February 2013
This is basically a spoof version of all the how-to-make-money-selling-ebooks claims that we all see every day. There are a lot of spot-on observations about the ridiculous claims they make, suggesting that the authors of such books rate themselves so highly they have a god complex. The most entertaining sections for me were some witty inversions of what is actually good practice for authors... such as tips on how to expand sentences until they last forever, or have a mysterious character walk in and explain the plot when you get stuck!

Although very amusing, especially to those of us who are ebook-savvy, it goes on too long. This would have worked twice as well if it had been half as long, or even a quarter as long. Even before I got to the halfway point, I was skim-reading, knowing that I would be reading something in exactly the same style as what I'd already read.

One disturbing point is that there's some tips on how to make a fortune by just copying and pasting text from websites, whacking it together into a how-to ebook and selling it. Although this is clearly comedy, it also happens a great deal, and it worries me that some people might read this book and completely miss the fact that it's satirical!

Definitely worth reading inbetween proper ebooks, but you may not get all the way to the end.
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