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on 24 October 2008
My wife dropped me a bombshell about our relationship after I was quite happily plodding along, within 3 weeks we were separated. If this has happened to you, this book goes a long way to explain why. It is the first real 'self help' book I have read and taken note of, I marked chapters as I read it, saving bits of information that I thought applied to us. Have given it to my wife now, not sure if she is reading it yet, I am hoping it will go some way towards saving my relationship and making it better, because the book does help you to understand why, she needs 'space', and some of the things which may be wrong.
It does appear to show that couples with this kind of trouble are becoming the majority, when usually no one else is involved, although it does cover infidelity. It explains the different stages of a relationship, which you may never have known about, I know I didnt really although it all makes perfect sense, but you need to have fulfilled each stage and move on to the next otherwise there will be trouble, maybe from one person.
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on 20 June 2012
I bought this book after my wife of 5 years dropped the bombshell that she no longer was 'in love' with me. I'd known something was amiss for a few weeks, but the realisation that she felt so uncertain of her emotional connection to me that she sought comfort from a previous partner through email communication was devastating. Reading this book reassured me that I'm not alone - lots of people suffer this same horrible realisation.

I found it very easy to read (took only a couple of days reading on and off) and it contains lots of really useful reflective tools. However, the biggest problem with it is that to really work, it needs both parties to engage in the process. My wife has been reluctant to accept that, though she is sure she wants to find her way back to loving me, there is anything she can or needs to do to achieve this goal.

I'm pleased that she is now reading the book, and we will be working through it together. Whether it will work only time will tell, but it is a platform for us to work from. Worth a read for anyone who's trying to understand the starnge nature of love!
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on 24 February 2012
I got The Speech from my husband and stumbled across this book late one night. It has been very useful and really helps you to look at your relationship from a different perspective. It's easy to read, full of down-to-earth advice and guidance. It's clear that Andrew approaches relationship problems with tons of experience and from a positive view point. It really does help you make some sense out of an awful situation and I'd go so far to say it should be required reading for anyone in a relationship, good or bad. Don't hesitate to buy this, you will gain from it.
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on 18 April 2012
This book is a really good investment for anyone who has been in a relationship more than a couple of years. I found many telling insights into the way I was behaving, and some of the simple differences between my partner and I that can cause some pretty big rows. The book is an easy read, has some good exercises that you can try - its not all two way traffic - some things you can try 'unilaterally' - in all I really rate this book and only wish I'd read it 5 years ago!
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on 26 March 2013
A great book. Have had a tough time in my marriage and this book made me realise that it was ok to feel the way I feeling and that the issues in my marriage could be dealt with. Finally closer to hubby because of it
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on 6 February 2012
I found this book an excellent read. Not condescending with lots of good advice - both through stories and exercises. I bet many picking up this book will have a very different reaction after reading then they went into it. Very well written for all ages and eventualities as well.
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on 4 March 2009
of all the books I have read on keeping maraige together this was the best. Every couple should read this when they are OK to be able to recognise the signs of trouble and understand how to keep things on a good footing. Totally logical, easy reading, and will improve you as a person in understanding your own relationships.
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on 10 October 2012
Our marriage was right at the point of no return when I chanced upon this book and it hit home in so many places. Using the book as a guide to discussion between us and with a lot of honesty, emotion, and trust we have put right so many wrongs and misunderstandings. Our relationship already feels stronger than it has ever been.
Quite simply, getting this book saved our marriage - How's that for a recommendation!
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on 3 July 2012
Hearing a radio interview with the author it sounded just the book for me, having just gone through divorce. I actually used words very similar to the title to my ex spouse when delivering the devastating news to him. Our marriage had gone through numerous rough patches when we had almost split until eventually there was nothing left. Had I read this book a few years ago maybe it would have had some influence on the final outcome as it makes you examine the way you think and how you communicate with each other. Even though it was too late to save my marriage it made for interesting reading and helped me recognise some self revealing facts. Worth a read.
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on 1 September 2014
Well, like a good many couples I imagine, I read this book at a point that was too late for my relationship. I would recommend that couples read it way before you think you need to read it... so, if you come across a copy and you have friends who are getting into a relationship that looks as if it will last, I do recommend you pass it on to them.

Its a 4 rather than a 5 as its a little bit glib in places - some of the welcome humour was great, some didn't work with me but thats not enough to put me off recommending it thoroughly.

Oh, and its a dreadful title - try feeling comfortable reading it on a train.
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