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35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The Dark Turkey is more like it,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)Let me just start by saying this is so bad that I wasn't even going to write a review, but then realised if I had read one I would have saved myself the inexorable tedium of having endured this.
It is set in a `post apocalyptic world ravaged by feuding warlords' - well there is one `warlord' who is imaginatively called `Warlord', he sort of has a fight at the beginning against some masked blokes, so we're pretty much going to have to take this assertion at face value. Then a group of his slave soldiers decide to do a runner, after the `battle'. They have a plan to escape to `the shadowlands' but will need some of Mr Warlords silver. Now don't forget this is a post apocalyptic etc, where everyone is a slave to one warlord or another. They are going into the shadowlands where `no one ever comes out alive' (wonder if they come out dead then?) so where are they going to spend the silver?
Mr Warlord then sends some `assassins', they are all girls and wear white masks to look more scary, to kill the escaped slaves and bring his pot of silver back.
So far so bad, the shadowlands are inhabited by some sort of mutant monsters or demons, but as it turns out they are really inhabited by some ropey animated flying lizard things. I do not want to spoil the wafer thin plot, so will cut to the chase. The cover is wrong and deceptive, there is no Crusader/Knight in this `film', there is no castle and the fight scene tries to be all `300', but come across as bad Am Dram. There are continuity errors galore, I especially like the snow that appears on the ground, disappears and then sort of half comes back again. The music is so bad that it would have been better without it. There are constant kettle drums that try to inject some tension and mood, but just add to the annoyance, which is the only emotion that does build through the turgid 86 minutes of awfulness.
We also have them smelting silver in a camp fire, but luckily as any good metallurgist will tell you, silver has exactly the same properties as chocolate, so sort of goes gooey and melts, before returning to its metallic state. Also nice to see the lighting still working in an underground bunker after decades of having no power supply.
The characters are so unendearing that there is not a single chance to build empathy as there is no character development. They come across as stilted, unbelievable and unlikable. There are lots of scenes that are pointless or go on too long and far too much running, either away from the nasty cartoon `demons' or towards them. And the demon things change in size from scene to scene. This is written and directed by Drew Maxwell, who really should give himself a pat on the back for getting this turkey to the screen, after all no-one else is going to praise him. Seriously this is not even worth the rental, there are so many better examples of this type of film, that this is less than superfluous.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The Worst Ever,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)This is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. I had to give up after about 40 minutes as I no longer cared what was supposed to happen. The dialogue is appalling and to say the acting is wooden would be a compliment. Added to this the movie has the lowest production standards imaginable. Don't buy it and certainly don't even try and watch it!!
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible, terrible, terrible!,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)this is quite possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen and may i say the dvd cover must take the award for the most misleading cover art of all time. Terrible!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Ed Wood would have laughed at this.,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)Worth a review because it's probably the worst film I've ever seen. There are 100% amateur films on You Tube that are much much better than this dreck. Props that look like they came from Poundland, cinematography that often looks bad enough to have been filmed with a phone, acting that makes am-dram look like the RSC and effects that surely were cobbled together on a bog standard PC. The action sequences look like kids playing. Poor beyond all understanding -- indeed I wish there had been a commentary track so we can know what on earth the film makers thought they were doing. The best thing about this DVD is the cover - which sadly bears no resemblance to the actual film!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars What a waste of time,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)Watching this post apocalyptic disaster I found myself praying for the same apocalyptic disaster to strike just to have more fun. It truly is the most awful, pointless drivel I have seen in my life. I have no idea what was going on as the dreadful storyline, acting, directing and music left me without the ability to navigate any thought outside of self harm and eventual suicide. In a hundred years this may well be viewed as a classic, but not in a good way
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not lover of it,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)I have NO idea what the movie is trying to illustrate. The storyline is none exciting.
I want to throw it in the bin, it is soo bad.
1.0 out of 5 stars dvd,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)delivered on time ordered by mistake thought it was the batman dark knight!! this film is obviously a low budget thing and was not good!!
1.0 out of 5 stars Ordure in a box. It should come with a warning.,
This review is from: The Dark Knight [DVD] (DVD)This awful movie was originally called "Dark Nemesis" but when "Batman: The Dark Knight" was released, the DVD version was repackaged under the current name. And I am sure this movie has been bought mistakenly by people who assumed they were getting the Christian Bale action pic. I was taken in, and as I did not look closely at the front cover packaging, I have only myself to blame. I intend to take the DVD out on a "dark night", to ritually set fire to it and plunge a stake through its heart.
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The Dark Knight [DVD] by Drew Maxwell (DVD - 2011)