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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on 25 September 2011
As someone who has never had the urge to have a baby, I have often (annoyingly) been told that this will change with time and that all women want children at some point. Personally, this hasn't happened to me and I don't forsee it happening in the future but I am nonetheless interested in the lives of those whose choice differs from mine. This book gave me an interesting insight into the life of a woman who was told she was infertile and whose biological clock seems to start ticking. Her struggles, joys and tribulations proved to be a page-turning read and I nodded in agreement at each mention of the differences between how men and women are treated differently when it comes to having a baby. The diverse choices of women are discussed in detail: from the women who consciously choose to be single mothers to those who are unable to conceive after many rounds of IVF. My only criticism is that it didn't discuss the decision to remain child-free in much depth and at times, seems to imply that women without children are regretful or unfulfilled. Kasey and her friend Emma struggle to find one woman past child-bearing age who isn't bitter or regretful which I found odd as I have never encountered someone who decided not to have children and was later regretful. Although ultimately it isn't Kasey's choice, more discussion on the decision to remain child-free would have been interesting, for me at least. Despite this, Kasey does a good job of presenting motherhood as it is: not as an amazing sugar-coated experience as it is often portrayed, but as consisting of many sacrifices and difficult times. She and her husband seem like lovely people too.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on 21 August 2012
For some reason the baby issue is one fraught with terror for me. I have come to the conclusion that at some point in my life I will be having a child (colluding with a psychologist mentioned by the author as saying "having a child is just one of the life stages of a woman"). But to be honest, the vagueness of mothers disturbs me. No one seems to want to tell me the truth, so much is sugar coated. My own mother once told me that if she could do it again she wouldnt have children. And this was because of the later years, dealing with my delinquint sister almost tore my parents previously stable marriage apart. Was it worth it in the end?

This book pulls no punches. I was searching for a reason for why women do this to themselves, and realise it is really something no one but a mother understands. The 'baby switch' is on, you have an overpoweing hormonal urge to have a child, and somewhere, somehow, all that you endure becomes worth it for one smile from your baby.

Perhaps it is the same for people who do charity work or missionary work, largely unnoticed although they still gain grateful recognition for what they do, but I agree with the author, mothers are almost never appreciated enough. I have the urge to give my mother a hug, except I did what almost all independant children do - move as far away from my parents as possible, maybe just see them on Christmas. What a sad state of affairs, as the author chronicles in her book.

She was also brutally honest about the gender equality at work. She hits the nail on the head: "women will never be equal to men in the workplace until men develop wombs and are able to bear children"
i have often sat in conferences and felt this same resentment myself when a perfectly good employee suddenly announces she is pregnant with no plan to return to work. This book has made me re-evaluate my opinion, and respect the expectant mother's choice more. It cant be easy. At the same time I understand from a company (or a man's ) point of view...what is the point of hiring someone who will just disappear the moment they become pregnant?

So yes, this book was honest and unflinching...but she hasnt sold the mother thing to me. Maybe I will be like her one day, and my baby switch will turn on because I think I am missing out, or time is running out, and I will be sad and regretful and lonely if I never have kids. I wonder if she would have even wanted kids if she hadnt had that verdict that day...she says she tried to find the facts, but the whole book boiled down to emotions running high (suddenly she HAD to have a baby! No matter what! She bursts out crying suddenly when she sees other women with babies - before she wasnt even certain she wanted one, she notices them EVERYWHERE - not rational or logical)

But this is what I think it does all boil down to. So a great read (couldnt put it down and made me think about it for days afterwards) and an unflinching honest look at motherhood, even if it isnt something you want to hear.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on 15 December 2012
I thought this book was terrible, designed to make 30 plus women feel worse than they did before they picked it up!
This was bought as a joke when I turned 30 and I felt like slitting my wrists after!
Never buy this book!
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on 5 August 2012
I've read other accounts of the realities of fertility, motherhood and the childlessness or 'child-free' choices (or in some case lack of choices) for women in our modern era but this book is by far the most
frank, funny and enlightening take on the subject. This is a no-holds-barred account of the author's dilemmas about whether to have a baby (a decision which becomes much more pressing following some alarming fertility tests), whether she is with the right 'father', whether she'll actually make a good mother followed by her desperate, though at times, very entertaining, ride on the IVF roller coaster.
It was refreshing to hear a voice brave enough to deliver the much-needed reality check to all those women who are 'waiting for the right time' to have a baby, blissfully unaware of the biological realities of their own fertility, as well as reminding us that when you do finally bring home that precious bundle of joy, that motherhood may not be as idyllic as it's portrayed to be in celebrity magazines or in nappy ads!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 14 February 2013
Frank and honest account of the realities. A good read if you don't see yourself as the born-to-be-an-earth-mother type and quite reassuring!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on 29 May 2011
Its true - most mothers need reassurance that they are not alone with the guilty thoughts that they have about becoming a mother.

Having a baby is a holy grail for many and when you finally have a baby - you feel you shouldn't or can't complain about becoming a mother including the emotional, mental, social and economic challenges that it brings. You are very tired all the time and your emotions feel like they are on a roller coaster. Your mind starts to play tricks on you. You cannot do much about it because you cannot get out of the house. And you cannot afford to pay for a babysitter even if you wanted to. You are stuck at home and feeling terrible. It becomes a downward spiral and you feel you shouldn't talk about it because you know there are many women out there who cannot have a baby. You are also worried you will be branded a narcissist because you dare to talk about how you are feeling.

Kasey Edwards's book explores these thoughts with some real live experiences from women she interviews. She does it in a way that makes you want to turn the pages as quickly as your fingers will let you because you feel she is in your shoes and walking through life with you. A word of warning - the book is so good that if you lend it to your cousin like I did, she will probably lend it to her female friends and you won't see it again for a very long time.
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on 17 August 2013
Thought provoking, well written and would recommend to any woman late twenties / early thirties who thinks they may have kids at some point in the future...
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on 8 April 2011
Everyone I've passed this book on to has felt the need to share it with someone else. My mum read it and concluded, "I need ten copies; one for my GP, one for my girlfriend; one for my husband...." It also enabled her to look at her grandchild and my struggles differently. This book managers to be incredibly funny, accurate, and tell a great story, while also creating this feeling that finally someone has distinguished what makes being a mother, or deciding to not be a mum, a different experience in this generation. This should be compulsory for any book club.
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4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on 26 April 2011
I've just read 30-Something and the Clock's Ticking and from a male perspective I absolutely loved it. There are so many people I immediately want to recommend it to - Kasey Edwards has an incredible way of writing about emotive, personal issues with insight, humour and common sense. She's like a breath of fresh air!
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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on 8 May 2011
Her opening line, "Have you ever seriously thought about whether or not you want a baby?" For me the answer is yes and for me it feels like more of a risk not having a child/family than choosing to not have one. With this specific topic I think, better the devil you know. But for a range of reasons asking myself this question only rubs salt into my pain. Kasey as a writer, a woman and eventually as a mother she takes her readers on an amazing journey as she actually explores the question many of us are too fearful to think about, let alone discuss. But Kasey takes it a couple of steps further. She researches it and asks all the dirty little questions that many of us are too scared or polite to do so. Kasey brings the question to life, she stripes it naked, puts it under fluorescent lights and allows her readers to feel the question emotionally that has been lived by the many brave women the Kasey interviews throughout her research. I did laugh in parts of the book at the black irony. I mainly shed tears as I no longer felt so alone with my own thoughts, desires and deep heart felt concerns about `to do or not to do', when it comes to having a family. This is an amazing read that I recommend all to read, to build understanding and empathy for life in your own shoes and the shoes that others are in.
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