Customer Reviews

BiC Cristal for Her - Black (Box of 20)

5 star:		(37)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

As I'm a lady, I'll buy anything pink. It's the colour of kitten's noses, marshmallows and partly of Battenberg cake. I'm also interested in and envious of anything longer than it is wide (Sigmund Freud said so and he's a chap so it must be true). I decided to treat myself to a pack of these lady pens because I'd done all my housework in record time with barely a glance at Loose Women.
I used my embroidery scissors to open the tough packaging. I'm embroidering a sampler for a chum who works at the oldest profession us ladies can aspire to. I've only embroidered the first "Ho" of "Ho, Sweet Ho" so far but it's looking splendid. Brown Owl would be very proud of me, if being proud of each other was encouraged among us ladies but of course it isn't good to fill our little heads with praise or we'll only try and enter politics or run banks and then surely that's a slippery slope to something approaching gender equality.
Anyway, I digress, I'm such a scatterbrain. So then I tried to write a shopping list with my new Bic cristal for her. I needed a Rambo DVD, sausages, man size tissues, Bovril, a Yorkie bar, a large brown loaf, Brut aftershave and a Slayer Reign In Blood CD. Maybe this pen has some sort of lady-appropriate autocorrect feature because instead it wrote the much more female friendly list of Sex and the City DVD, cottage cheese, fairy hammocks, butterscotch instant whip, Turkish delight, rice cakes, Tramp by Lentheric, and Westlife's Greatest Hit's CD.
I think these pens should only be sold in Ann Summers, where we ladies like to shop for ladies' things and where men hover, anxious and red-faced, in the doorway while desperately trying to recall the approximate dimensions of their girlfriends. I'll bet when Jordan wrote Angel she did it with one of these pens. She was probably on horseback too, and wearing full make-up. What a woman!
I've accidentally planned a whole wedding using one of these pens. I was trying to write a standard operating procedure for extracting DNA but I've gone right off Science since having these lovely pens. Also, I think that since using these pens my boobs have got a bit bigger. That reminds me, I must find a chap to jiggle in front of for approval.
I used one of these pens to take down a phone message. I perched on the edge of a big wooden desk while wearing a tight pink skirt and a lovely matching fitted jacket. I furrowed my feminine brow and did my thinking face. I put thoughts of new lipsticks out of my mind and I listened jolly hard. I think I took down the message correctly. It was for Bic and it was from the 1960s. They said you'd borrowed their sexual attitudes and they wanted them back please.
Right, I must get on and cook the dinner and put a ribbon in my hair before my boyfriend gets home.

Having just had a hysterectomy and mourning the loss of my womanhood I have been desperately searching for validation of my sex again. Thank god for Bic - my friends bought me a pac of BiC Cristal and I feel whole again. The pink itallic writing giving me comfort and joy. One can only assume that had Virginia Woolf or Sylvia Plath had such wonderful writing tools there literary contributions would have been much happier and easier to understand. Thank you Bic!

When she wrapped her small but capable hand around the Cristal pen and stroked it, she saw stars, and she knew there were none out tonight. She let out her breath in a long, uneven moan. Her thumb rubbed the tip of the Cristal pen, spreading a drop of ink. She opened her mouth and lay her Cristal pen on her delicate plump moist lips. She shook the shaft of the Cristal pen with her hand urging the ink out. It was too much. She was too good. She couldn't stop as she crossed washing powder off the shopping list....

This is what I've been needing my whole life. As a supposed "writer", I've been desperately slaving away using those old "man pens" which have made my life miserable, until now!

Being also left handed, men's pens haven't been kind my my feminine left handedness, but I feel this pen really cares for my soft, female skin and hands as I write my drippy romance novels full of wispy women and strong, manly men who use real man pens and do man work, like wrestling and doctoring whilst we mere females watch and sign every so often.

Definitely the pen for you girls, if you love falling for stupid direct marketing! Because these pens are just so different to those 'normal' pens you've been using all these years!

For what use does the fairer sex have for a writing instrument other than to write spells that will bring about the downfall of good honest gentlemen. At best women should be writing loving notes of devotion and submission to their husbands for protecting them and providing for them as they go about their womanly duties of cooking, cleaning and providing their husbands with healthy male children. These so-called pens for women are nothing more than the tools of Satan himself and should be withdrawn from sale forthwith.

I particularly like the way the packaging and contents peeking out so faithfully reflects the colour range of Tampax tampons. It will help us girlies realise this product is for us. How else would we be able to tell?

I tried using these so-called "pens" only to find that they were horrendously unsuitable for me. As a man, I like big chunky writing implements to suit my big calloused hands (calloused from all that manual labour). I will only use pens that are strong enough to withstand my firm masculine grip and that produce a good, bold manly line for things like filling out the crossword in FHM, making marks for nails and screws to put up shelves, and doodling while I read the football pages on the toilet.
So talk about a bad choice of pens. Immediately on picking up this pen, its narrow barrel fell out of my hand and into my beer. After a few tries, I managed to get the hang of it but then instantly burst into tears. My writing is now thin and wispy and the only crossword I can manage is Woman's Own.
They should really have something on the pack to indicate that these are not suitable for use by men. Not recommended!

Brilliant - I love these pens! How about a laptop next? It took me 4 hours to write this review as I had to keep running back and forth between each key on my MASSIVE MAN KEYBOARD because I'm a tiny woman.

I am DELIGHTED! It was taking ages to needlepoint my shopping lists every week. Thank you BIC! Naturally though, I didn't purchase these frightfully manly black ones. Just pink and pastel shades for me please or people might think I was a bloke or batting for the other team or something.

These pens are a tacit admission that traditional unisex Bics are unsuitable for those of us who are, shall we say, outliers on the gender spectrum. As a manly man who exudes so much testosterone that women ovulate when I look at them can I say that I wait with some impatience for a pen that suits my needs. The old ones push through the page too easily.