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199 of 211 people found the following review helpful
Nerf Super Soaker
on 19 November 2011
I bought this water gun to win a battle. Not one with the kids down the road - I'm too old for that sort of fun. It's a battle against the grey squirrels who are invading our garden. It's a battle which I know that I can never win, but I believe that a man should always resist tyranny, even against all the odds. I also know that it's not nice to squirt water at animals (unless they're dolphins), and a part of me feels a bit guilty about this, but I know from all the westerns and war films that I've ever seen that sometimes, just sometimes, you might have to do something a bit bad to protect the things that you love. In this case, the things that I love are the bulbs, plants and bird feeders in our garden. If you've never been a gardener who is terrorised by squirrels - if you've never been in the battle-zone - then you should stop reading this now, because you'll never understand!
At first, I tried non-violent resistance. Waving my arms, jumping up and down and hissing at them. Unfortunately, our squirrels have been hand-fed peanuts by the public in the local park, and they ain't scared of anyone who's just noisily gesticulating!
Then, I tried running at them and shouting. They're used to that because that's what all the small kids in the park do to them. The squirrels just hop nimbly out of the way!
Eventually,in frustration, I found myself throwing things at them. Small sticks, lumps of earth, tiny pebbles etc. The squirrels looked faintly surprised.
One day I found myself hurling half a house brick at one (I missed the squirrel, but smashed a hollyhock)! I realised that I was loosing my sense of proportion. I felt that I (who had once opposed the war in Vietnam) was only a short step away from considering the use of napalm! There had to be a more appropriate solution.
So, that's why, after an interval of about 40 years or so, a man buys himself another water pistol! It's now propped up outside the back door, full of water, ready for action, and I'm quite pleased with it! There's no batteries to worry about, and no trigger either! You just pull the slider back along the barrel to squirt a jet of water about 18 feet. With our semi-tame squirrels you can easily get within range (though this could change once the full horror of what they're up against sinks in!). Pull back again and you get another jet. The water reservoir gives you about 15 shots before you have to reload, so - unless they come at me Zulu style - I've got plenty to see them off with! It's not the most accurate of weapons, but it does the job - I've doused a couple of them already, and they've exited the garden at top speed!
However, my wife seems to suspect my motives in buying this "toy", and has been muttering something about "eternally immature men"!
She'd better watch out, next time she's out in the garden............