Customer Reviews

57
4.2 out of 5 stars
No More Mr. Nice Guy
Format: Kindle EditionChange
Price:£5.99
Your rating(Clear)Rate this item


There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on 7 April 2014
I downloaded this book as I believe my husband is 'a Mr Nice Guy' and wow, its so accurate.I think the negatives reviews are either from people who this doesn't relate to or perhaps from people who fear the messages in the book.Upshot is that 'nice guys' use non positive (often destructive) ways to get their needs met, often passive aggressive behaviour.The author confronts that thinking, explains how the thought processes develop from childhood and suggest ways that the thinking can be changed.I have searched for books which help with spouses understand passive aggressive behaviour and this is the best so far.

There are short exercises to do after each section which clarifies thinking.The strong message is is "no one on this planet is responsible for meeting your needs, you solely own that responsibility".

The target audience is male however this is a self help book that can also benefit anyone who struggles to get their needs met in relationships.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on 8 March 2014
As a frustrated and therefore passive agressive 'nice guy' I found this book extremely helpful. The idea that I have made a contract with life that if I am nice to people then 'life' will have to meet all my emotional needs was not too much of a shock but nevertheless, starkly what I needed to read. Yes, it's a bit long but great material doesn't always come in great packaging. I will be recommending it to a friend who is a self-confessed people pleaser. The only thing I disagree with so far is the Mr Glover's idea that 'integrity is deciding what feels right and doing it'. Oh dear. The world is in trouble precisely because of those sort of sentiments. The right way is often the hard way and not the way that feels right at-all. Aside from this, thank you Mr Glover, really.
11 commentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on 24 October 2014
This book absolutely blew me away.

All my life i have been looking for something to explain why I felt a certain way towards the world and everyone in it; inside I was always pretending to be someone that I was not and not feeling fulfilled in my own skin.

This book goes to the very core of why trying to be nice / good to others (especially the opposite sex) in an attempt to win their respect is completely the wrong approach to take, taking into account and analysing the most formative years of our development as human beings; our childhood and our relationship (or lack of) with our parent(s).

It's often said that you need to hear common sense for it to become common sense. This book does all of this and more.

Save your money on psychologists / therapists / relationship counsellors and read this book.

Highly recommended.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 13 March 2015
This is a book that has had a huge impact on me after the first reading - I am about to start reading again (as advised by the author)

The astonishing thing about this book is that it in every page the author seems to know me personally. I kept thinking 'that's me - I do that!' At first it was a bit scary and then hugely reassuring to know that my outook on life was so well understood and so commonly represented by millions of men around the world.

Dr Glover takes apart the myth that the world today (especially women) want and respect 'nice guys'. Let's be clear, this book does not advocate being a jerk. It is not about being horrible, nasty, dumping on others or any other negative view that might spring to mind with this title. The author agonised a bit over the title and it has probably put a few off buying it but the thing is that Dr Glover explains in depth the issues of the 'nice guy' and so he is being real to himself and his readers by sticking to the title.

The author is extremely qualified and experienced in his field and the reader can have huge faith in the breadth and depth of the research within it. He has conducted somewhere in the region of 1500+ focus groups and workshops and written this book over a period of six years. he is also able to cite many successes.

If you are the sort of person who belives that others come first, that it is selfish to seek anything for yourself, that it is better to 'settle' than get what is your right - the right to achieve the most happiness that you can in this short life, then this is for you.

I would describe this book as a 'jaw dropper'. It will feel like the author has been spying on you and reading your thoughts. At times I felt ashamed that I had become such an apology of a person - I always just thought that I was a nice decent guy. Oh, and if you wonder why girls like 'jerks' you are about to find out.

So this is a book in two parts (albeit that they thread together). It points out common traits and behaviors, then it tells you why (including a history lesson that is very revealing) and then it gives you some great pointers about turning things around. You will also find out that Dr Glover has spoken to many women on this subject and they simply endorse the views that he talks about - that might be a shock to you!

To your happiness ...
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on 4 February 2014
This book has been able to provide a very clear insight into the nice guy attitude and it is very helpful in the fact that there is guidelines given inside the book that is very helpful into turning/retraining aspects of ones life.

A definite read for a nice guy
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 18 June 2015
I didn't realise for a long time I had become the person described in this book and it was eating me up from the inside out, like the book says most nice guys aren't actually nice, and its only a matter of time before it all comes exploding out.
This book was actually recommended to me by a good friend who could see personality traits in me that he related too a few years back before he had begun his own self development journey. True as it says I was 90% of the things described in the book and always wondered why I couldn't get my needs met, I hated putting myself first and refused to acknowledge my inner man in my relationships.
Long story short if you even suspect yourself to have any 'Nice Guy' personality traits, do yourself a favour an read this book.
Just being aware of whats going on in your life will change your perspective and allow you to see how people around you are manipulating you. Beware, this book may open so home truths, because you really must be prepared to dig deep to root out the problem, and it usually starts in childhood development stage.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 15 February 2015
This is one of those rare books that just hits the nail on the head. Period. As I read it, so many of the experiences of others seemed like a narrative of aspects of my own life. Over the past few months, various events have meant that I have started to become aware of many of the traits described within this book - and them 'not working'. However, this has mostly lead to a sense of confusion because of a lack of trust of my own judgement.

Some of the concepts of the book I have been realising for myself, but without any 'reference' or connected thinking and with a large helping of naivety, it is very difficult to get a handle on them on your own. This book has really helped to identify traits that I have - blindly and persistently - believed are 'good', despite them rarely working.

If you go through life trying to please people, worrying about what others think of you and never *truly* putting yourself first then this book might be a real eye opener - it has been for me.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 3 January 2015
There is only one word for this book - Gamechanging.

Never before have a seen a phenomenon so accurately described on paper. Glover's account of Nice Guy Syndrome is a very in-depth and frank deliverance of the limiting beliefs that hold many men back from achieving their full potential. It was sometimes scary to read how close to the mark the portrayals are in this book, and if you are considering buying this I would advise caution - it will strike you at your core. But I implore you to have the courage to stick with it, the new approach to life you learn will change your fortunes forever.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
45 of 56 people found the following review helpful
on 9 July 2010
After years of being fed the lie that women in general really want men who are kind, caring, sensitive, helpful etc. - I finally woke up to the fact that so many of these women only want men like this for the "friend", the shoulder to cry on , the help at any time of day or night as required, the money and time, the person to bitch and whine to whine to while they complain about the "bad guy" they are actually having sex with. Time and time again my "nice guy" behaviour only meant I got stuck in the friend zone or was taken advantage of by partners. Yet despite all the evidence in front of me and the fact that I was taken advantage of again and again while being told "there's a wonderful woman out there for you" it still took far too long for me to realise that what I'd been brought up to believe was almost completely wrong. So much misinformation, and so many outright lies about things like the "patriarchy" and that women had had it so bad for so long. All the stuff about feminism and "equality" turned out to be meaningless - it wasn't a fight for equality I was supporting, it was the demand for privileges and rewards that weren't earned. Being a "nice guy" was basically being a doormat.

I've been reading some great sites on the web (such as Happy Bachelor, Angry Harry, MGTOW etc.) and have been learning about how I can improve my life and enjoy things more.

I bought this book as part of my desire to learn more about why the way I have been brought up to behave is not appreciated in general and what I can do to stand up for myself and get more out of life.

The problem is that a lot of the key concepts in the book are good examples for any guy to follow, but these can be read for free on the internet. However, layered on top of this are the writer's constant self promoting references to his therapy groups, cod psychology (nice guys only do nice things for other people due to a manipulative agenda - you can't do something nice just to help someone out) and a creepy obsession with what must be the writer's own massive oedipal complex. According to the writer a "nice guy" can't form relationships with women because of his mother fixation.

The information I read online is far superior, and more importantly only aims to inform and guide rather than selling you yet another delusion that the best way for you to improve is to pay for therapy.

I'm sure there are much better books on the subject and I advise you to look for them.
1313 commentsWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 24 November 2013
This book helps 'Nice' men. Nice men tend to disregard themselves and put others first in the hope that they will get their needs met however they don't and then end up feeling like a doormat or resentful. This book guides them to help them get what 'they' want in their lives.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
     
 
Customers who viewed this item also viewed


The Rational Male
The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi
£4.99
 
     

Send us feedback

How can we make Amazon Customer Reviews better for you?
Let us know here.