I was originally going to send for a couple of packs of plain white record cards, my intention being to find them gainful employment during a few festive family rounds of 'Give Us A Clue' next week. Ah, but then I got to thinking about how much more fun I could make my foray into the realms of 'Being Michael Parkinson' should I decide to go down the four pastel colour route instead. Well, fun for ME at any rate. And I am jolly glad that my love of mischief, skulduggery and a more than passing interest in getting right up one or two folks' noses this Christmas led me to these very smart cards.
I must confess, I couldn't quite decipher what the dimensions of the cards actually meant to me in 'practical' terms (in other words, I really don't 'do' metric) so, before I took the Silvine-assorted-colour-record-card plunge I did just check what all that mm and cm gobbledygook equated to in good old-fashioned imperial measurements (I'm not that old honestly... I'm just a bit old-fashioned in certain areas, that's all. Petticoats, that's another one. But other men still wear them underneath their pencil skirts though, don't they? No? Oh well, that must just be me then. Where the hell were we... ah yes!). Surprisingly, it comes to 3 inches by 5 inches, a fact I have just verified independently with the assistance of those same Silvine record cards as they sit beside me here. Each card has nine lines upon which to write and they are all double-sided. Maths is not my strong point, but I reckon there must be 25 cards in each of the four, very attractive, pastel shades.
I spent several hours yesterday afternoon sticking a wide variety of different charades onto these cards. As the original, rather devious, me suspected, the introduction of four different colours into my 'Give Us A Clue' equation has indeed opened up a whole new world of entertainment opportunities. Picture the scene; me, proudly wearing my bespoke Michael Parkinson face mask as I gaze upon two teams of people wearing similarly procured, although obviously different, masks. I've got the likes of Kenneth Williams, Tommy Cooper, Cilla Black, Bob Holness, Siobhan Fahey... some real showbiz stalwarts, I think you'll agree. Oh no, wait a minute - forget that you've seen that last one, can you? That one's not for Christmas. At least, it's not for any kind of family Christmas. I may very well feel as though all of my Christmases have come at once, if and when I can find someone desperate enough to want to model it for me and who will be able to cope with whatever might then happen to them a result, but that's a completely different story. Oh my word - is it me, or is it incredibly hot in here?
Anyway, four sets of differently coloured cards means four sets of differently pitched charades;
Yellow - These are the 'easy' variety, for people of tender years and/or people who I like and/or have not yet managed to annoy me. Stuff like 'The Cat Sat On The Mat'.
Blue - These are the 'medium' variety, for folk who I think have the sort of sense of humour that can carry them off. Things like 'I'm a Little Teapot' are to be found here.
Pink - As an aide memoire, I figured the cards specifically aimed at people who are just beginning to cheese me off, perhaps through their reluctance to actually even pretend to be enjoying themselves or, god forbid, if they have actually seen fit to try to challenge the authority temporarily bestowed upon me by Michael Parkinson, ought to be pink. It's a colour that will doubtless match the face of whoever is being a pain, hence the colour-coding. Actually, given the sort of people I'm going to be dealing with, I could probably have done with a few more pinks and a few less blues. Still, that's just a cross I'll have to bear. Things like 'To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar' dwell within these cards.
Green - As a similar aide memoire, I have the Incredible Hulk to thank for this one. What colour is a person going to go, do you think, upon being asked to mime something like 'Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen by the Sea'? That's right - a little something from the make-up box of Lou Ferrigno! These will only be deployed in an emergency... or when I feel like sacrificing one particularly pompous individual's integrity in the interests of trying to get the rest of my cardboard celebrities to relax and enjoy their own game a bit more.
God, I hope my father doesn't read this before then - I don't want to spoil the surprise!
These record cards are extremely good value for money and ideal for many different purposes. I purchased these for my eldest son, who is at University, and wanted them for revision purposes. At 5”x3” these are fairly small, but still have loads of room to write on. Each card has a slightly larger space at the top (for headings) and are faintly ruled.
You can either buy these in white or in assorted colours. In this pack you get 200 cards – 25 of each in yellow, pink, green and blue. The colours are light and so ink is easily seen, but they also allow you to separate these in whichever way suits (subjects for example). You can get various index cards and boxes to hold these, which really make great use of these simple – but very effective – blank cards.