698 of 713 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Feel their furry power!
I have seen many t-shirts in my time - almost five - but none have inspired me in quite the same way.
One wolf is a luxury; two, pure decadence; but three? 'Surely no man wields such a mighty chest as to be able to harness these averagely transferred beasts?' thought I. But if mine were such a chest then perhaps womenfolk might gaze upon me and say 'Oooh'...
Published on 22 Jan 2010 by Mr. A. Brett
52 of 56 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Sadly too powerful...
As the owner of the largest and most plushly outfitted trailer on the lot I often find myself subject to the envy and jealousy of other lesser men. Women desire my girthy XXXL frame but also fear it's obvious power- which is prodigous. Indeed, they often engage in cheap jibes and name calling in (generally unsuccessful) attempts to distance me and thus protect...
Published on 12 Feb 2010 by D. Deacon
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698 of 713 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Feel their furry power!,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)I have seen many t-shirts in my time - almost five - but none have inspired me in quite the same way.
One wolf is a luxury; two, pure decadence; but three? 'Surely no man wields such a mighty chest as to be able to harness these averagely transferred beasts?' thought I. But if mine were such a chest then perhaps womenfolk might gaze upon me and say 'Oooh'.
Sweating, I began furiously hitting the keys to place an order (not from Amazon, mind), there was not a moment to lose. 'There must be a Large left! There must be!'
I powered through the rest of the order like a man possessed with the spirit of a man really trying to order something quickly. I whipped out my credit card, but was instantly struck cold with the realisation that this plastic friend was at his limit. I reached down for another card, but that was for my current account, and there were Albanian shell suit merchants that had more money than could be found there. A third attempt only produced a Tesco Clubcard in the name of Mrs Olga Legg. Very odd.
What was going on? Did God hate me? Why was I being presented with such majesty, only to have its miniature form mock me on this screen, with no hope of ever securing one of my very own? I was running out of options like Mrs Legg was running out of opportunities for discounted beans.
Then I remembered; my savings! I could prize the cash from there and still have enough to buy a small doughnut in 2017, interest rates permitting. Result! I hit the last few buttons like an insolent child. Finally, it was done. And then came the wait...
Four days passed. Five. Six, seven. 'There must be a problem. It's been too long.' The second T-shirtless week came around like an unwanted relative. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. 'What if I entered the wrong address?' No, I had already checked that. 'What if there were none left in stock?' No, they would have told me, surely. 'What if the Royal Mail sorting office had been taken over by squirrels, demanding equality for rodents?' Possibly just the wrong side of unlikely.
Suddenly, the doorbell went. Now I really was nervous. Only once before had I been so nervous about cotton-based goods, and that was just a baseball cap that had a picture of an indifferent tortoise on it. This time it was wolves. Howling wolves. Three of them. And a moon. And probably some brief washing instructions.
I ran to the door and flung it open. When the postman had finished soiling himself, he leant forward awkwardly to hand over the parcel, trying admirably not to empty the contents of his trousers on my porch. It was here!
I can honestly say I've never looked back. I don't wear anything else. Literally. Sure, I've been arrested in every major supermarket for being naked from the waist down and limited washing has meant that I smell faintly of mushroom, but the wolves are a greater power and I no longer recognise Earth's laws.
If you embrace nothing else in your life, dear reader, embrace this T-shirt. If you don't, small girls will laugh at you in the street, you'll be denied service at most leading fast-food outlets, and you'll almost certainly be refused entry to Butlins.
191 of 197 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars There's just something missing...,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)Don't get me wrong, this T-shirt is ace. I just can't help thinking an additional Wolf wouldn't go a miss.
(P.S I've rated this 4 stars. 1 for each Wolf and 1 for the moon. If the seller wants another star, then I want another Wolf....or another moon)
208 of 219 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Night of The Wolf,
It was difficult to understand her words as they were being drowned out by the mass applause from the other customers in the pub. The landlord came up to me and told me that his customers had been in fear of the three louts for the last six months but nobody had the courage to stand up to them, until you came along.......WOLFLORD!
I was confused. Why had he called me Wolflord? I looked down and it all started to make sense. I was wearing my nans xmas tshirt she had bought me. I had only worn it because all my other t-shirts were dirty and nobody would be able to see how ridiculous I looked as I was wearing a jumper. The landlord poured me a large glass of louis 13th cognac, on the house, and told me to keep the bottle. I told him I wanted to go outside and smoke a cigarette with this fine drink. He laughed and told me the smoking ban does not apply to the Wolflord and put a fine Cuban cigar in my mouth.
He then screamed at his wife and told her to hurry with the Wolflord's Foie Gras.
With all this commotion I had forgotten about the young lady. I needn't have worried as she had called her fiance on her mobile and told him it was over. I explained to her that I didn't want a serious relationship, just once a week with a limited amount of talking. She told me that I had her at "I"
It ends up she had an identical twin sister so we do a rotation on a Monday and Friday. I won't tell you what happens on my birthdays and xmas day, but its pretty much the same as the t-shirt
112 of 119 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Power up of the wolf,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)Since buying this t shirt my attack points have increased by 3, defence by 4 and luck, magic attack and magic defense have all reached maximum. On the negative side Chuck Norris is hunting me down to get his t shirt back.
163 of 175 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's finally here!,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)After waiting patiently for many, many months I finally got the chance to purchase the fabled Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, I purchased seven of these beauties without delay. I was distressed to find the T-shirts had been creased during the delivery, so I slapped the delivery man across the face.
They needed an iron to de-crease them, but how could I impose such danger upon the shirts with a hot metallic object? I sprinted to the nearest church to purchase a gallon of Holy Water to fill the iron up; prayed that the wolves did not damage in any way. I was a fool, of course the the wolves would not damage, they are as strong as steel, no, stronger than steel and the creases just disappeared almost instantly upon touching the surface of the iron.
It was time to wear one of the shirts, my hands shivering uncontrollably as they passed through the sleeves of grandeur, my head pounding as it passed through the monumental collar. And that, was the define moment I became a man. I looked into the mirror to find not just one, but three wolves howling unforgivingly at the silvery, sparkling moon. I couldn't resist the urge to join in, because at that moment, was the greatest moment of my entire life, and no one could take that away from me.
I would fully recommend the shirt to anyone, to of any age, but I want the shirts for myself. A dozen more are on their way. Don't feel anger, or regret, should the shirt be out of stock, feel exhilaration, and happiness, for I have been blessed.
47 of 50 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Holy Wail,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)Some search for it all their lives. Religion, spirituality, meditation all provide access to it. But for some reason, we never truly reach 'it'. What is this 'it'? IT is the power of the universe - the feeling of transcending our own ego and becoming one with the cosmos. IT can be achieved - THREE WOLF MOON be thy passage.
I bought the shirt for a laugh, amused by what i thought to be mock reviews. Maybe some people would 'get' the irony. Perhaps girls would think i'm quite funny, maybe i could geek them into bed.
On the contrary.
Upon it's delivery, i was pleasantly surprised to be given the parcel by a unusually hot female delivery girl. Golden locks of hair twirled down to a buxom cleavage.
"You don't get many girls doing this" I mused, my clumsy attempt at conversation showing up my social retardation.
"It's a one-off" she replied, "My father told me to do the rounds today, he said that he'd been informed of a 'special package', and that I'd know what to do at the right time".
I laughed out loud.
"What's so funny?" she asked
"Sounds almost sexual!" I chortled
"I know right? Well he has been keep a tight grasp on my virginity even for a catholic priest, he says that the right man will be of noble character, that he will be pure, and he will have within him the spirit of the Three Wolf...."
"Moon?" I said.
Her eyes unfurled like a flower to the sun, pupils swelling like a double dose of disco biscuits.
"This is...what i think it is?" she asked.
"I think you better come in." said I
The rest of that morning shall remain a gentleman's secret. I had never had the same luck with girls as my friends did before that day - now it's nothing to do with luck for me. The shirt...it's...it's got a power. It's elemental, i feel like i can do anything with it on. Girl, even when they are walking hand in hand with their boyfriend will stop in their tracks, jaw dropped and rape me with their eyes. I get followed a lot. Most times, in fact. If i go to a club, it's like swimming with sharks - hot, horny sharks.
I have learned to surf, ski, play the bass guitar - hell, i'm even top of the class in the Taikwondo lessons i've started to take.
I used to be unconfident, i used to feel like a geek - now i let the Three Wolves speak.
52 of 56 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Sadly too powerful...,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)As the owner of the largest and most plushly outfitted trailer on the lot I often find myself subject to the envy and jealousy of other lesser men. Women desire my girthy XXXL frame but also fear it's obvious power- which is prodigous. Indeed, they often engage in cheap jibes and name calling in (generally unsuccessful) attempts to distance me and thus protect themselves from the consequences of their own lust.
I purchased the wolf shirt in an attempt to ease these fears and show the proles that I was just like them. A more attractive and successful version perhaps but still very definitely a man of the people. Alas, I have found that the wolf shirt only exacerbates these issue leading me to believe that it's power may be even greater than many have claimed.
After three straight weeks of wearing my wolf shirt every day I found that the people of Manchester kept their distance from me even more so than before. Obviously they were intimidated and awed by the beauty and power of the shirt.
So ultimately I cannot recommend purchase of this shirt. Though it's attractions are obvious and keenly felt by me I believe that it puts its wearer on a different plane to the other humans which- while flattering- will ultimately lead to isolation and loneliness. For this reason I sadly had to bury my wolf shirt in the back yard. I was not surprised to see that two days later a fine bush of roses grew from the very spot I had planted it.
118 of 128 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Believe!,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)After reading all the reviews on the American version of teh interwebs, I was cynical. "Oh those crazy Yanks," I thought, "always miring themselves in hyperbole." But something kept whispering in my ear: "Buy one. Buy one. BUY one." - and eventually I succumbed.
That was the first day of the rest of my life.
From the moment I put it on, I became one with nature. Women want me; men want to be me; dogs fear me; wolves worship me (probably). Buy one today and discover for yourself the power of the wolves.
70 of 76 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Feel the power within,
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)I had not been to sleep for three days....and then finally there was a knock on my door.
On opening the door I saw a small portly fellow in his hand he had the fabled elixir that would give me powers beyond those that were craved by an up and coming dictator.
Right there I ripped open the package, after gently caressing the label I took off my clothes and put it on. Then it happened. My whole body shuddered, my limbs exploded into action in a Pop Eyesque fashion, I looked at my hands and they were tingling. When I glanced in the mirror I was amazed by my eyes they were on fire.
I looked back at the chubby delivery man who stood open mouthed aghast at what he was seeing. With a waving gesture of my hand and a thrust of my palm I was able to turn him into a kebab house flyer.
I realised that this had powers that I could not comprehend and some of these were truly dark.
That was three weeks ago, since then my life has changed, I am now able to eat raw meat, I can hear sounds inaudible to the human ear. When I look at the full moon it glistens likes it is alive, but alas it has changed me for the worse. All my friends are now missing, and I am strapped to a bed singing like Shakira "ahh ooooooooooooooooooooo". I am writing this review with the powers that I now have.
Are you ready for the power that will be unleashed.
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars More absorbent than the old 'sock method',
This review is from: Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt (Apparel)I truly recommend this t-shirt its absorptive qualities make it a more than adequate substitue for the aformentioned 'sock method'. The t-shirts vast surface area provide durability, and the kitsch image compliments the long lasting stains that remain after use.
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Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt by The Mountain
£10.99 - £35.99