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on 2 February 2009
Once again the great British public is treated with scorn and derision by those up on high in the ivory towers of television.
Those that make the BiG decisions that shape our lives.

How can you hope to capture the spirit, vibrancy and beauty of Paul Ross within 20 inches? you simply can't.

Rubbish.

Let's hope that THEY make a better job of the much-awaited Bob Mills tryptych.
11 comment22 of 23 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 19 December 2008
I used to be a very successful insurance salesman at AIG. I had riches beyond belief: Faberge Eggs; Brut Aftershave, also by Faberge; a diamond encrusted Rolex; lime green Lamborghini; monogrammed slippers; a piano shaped toilet that once belonged to Liberace and a 16 ft pyramid of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Some friends at the country club let me in on this secret that all the old money had canvas printed photos of Paul Ross, so I bought one at auction.

There was something wonderful and majestic about it, some people say the enigmatic smile is a knowing reference to his Merovingian ancestry. It hung for 3 years above the alabaster fireplace in my drawing room, replacing Munch's Scream, which I borrowed from a friend who was also in the insurance business.

But over time there was something unsettling about the picture. At first it sounded like it emitted a high pitched, almost imperceptible, tone, like an old TV set. Then it started whispering things to me. After a while it started telling jokes and then giving me stock tips. Eventually it recommended I invest all my money with a guy called Bernie Madoff.

Now I have nothing, I get high by sucking anti-freeze from car windscreen washers, and even had to take public transport. My only possession is this picture of Paul Ross. It is my love, my life. He completes me.
88 comments591 of 634 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 10 December 2008
I bought this for myself to put on my bedroom wall. It's incredible. What a shot! Just what I was looking for! Every day Mr Ross's salubrious visage gazes back at me reminding me of "la dolce vita" ... Oh! - It isn't an overstatement to say that this 20-inch print has not only transformed my room but also my life.
0Comment36 of 38 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 9 November 2009
I have been searching high and low for a 22" canvas portrait of Paul Ross sitting on a picnic bench and drinking from a Thermos flask (circa 1998) for the past 6 or 7 years. Although not the transcendental image I have been seeking, this 20" canvas print of Paul Ross sitting at a metal table drinking water circa 2001 has proved a satisfactory remedial piece.
11 comment35 of 37 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 15 December 2008
To all readers of these reviews please beware! Do not allow the cherubic visage of this being to lure you into the false belief that his intentions are aught but vile.
I must pass this knowledge on before I, like my family, am overtaken by madness and death...
But a mere 30 days ago I purchased this seemingly innocuous portrait from a house clearance, the family had died in tragic circumstances and all their possessions were being sold. My mother had for a long time been a fan of Paul ross and during a long illness watched his daytime televisual faire, something that she came to feel had, in part, contributed to her recovery. I spotted this portrait propped against a rattan chair in the front garden and immediately bought it thinking it would be a wonderful present. How wrong I was.
Within days my mother had taken to sitting before it for hours at a time chanting unearthly utterances. "Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa"
My father spiralled into depression and eventually cast himself from the west tower. Mother stopped dressing for dinner and eventually stopped eating altogether until finally her weakened body could take no more and she expired still sitting in the recliner, wearing her dressing gown quietly chanting those dark verses...
Now there is just me, me and Paul Ross for that is how our human mind names him but he has had many names throught the millenia, dark names, names that none but his own tounge can speak. I hear him now, his fearsome geometry glaring from beyond the canvas
I implore you do not buy this lest ye value your lives not....

I must stop writing... there are things to do...

to...

prepare....

Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
...
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
...
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa
Thrub N'gahh, Chaa'ar R'ozz Pul Th'aa...
11 comment58 of 62 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 26 October 2009
I bought this innocent-enough looking photo from amazon not that long ago. I felt that it would make a wonderful conversation starter, as it sat over the fireplace, for when we had friends join us for our many dinner parties. However, it wasn't long before we noticed that all was not as it should be. Soon we were having huge trouble with vampires, werewolves, witches, egyptian mummies and giant preying mantis women to name a few. It turned out that our house was over the top of a hell-mouth and the photo of Paul Ross acted as a key to open this hell-mouth. This was all tolerable until the evening that my cousin Bridget accidentally killed her husband and let his blood pour all over the lounge carpet (right over and into the hellmouth). Not only was it murder getting the blood out of the carpet but we also had a problem with legions of demons flooding out of the hell-mouth and running amok all over the house (things such as leaving the toilet seat up, drinking all the milk out of the bottle and then putting the empty bottle back in the fridge....that sort of thing). It all got too much for me and, completely in dispair, I found myself crawling and weeping on the ground. With cries of anguish I yelled out "Why, Paul Ross, Why?! How could we have been so mistaken by the innocence that your 20" photo portrays? How could we have known what misery would befall us??". In what I thought was to be my last moments on this earth I shook my fists at Paul Ross, tears running down my cheeks, down to my chin and dripped onto the floor. The most remarkable thing then happened - the Hell mouth closed up. Apparently tears can close a door to Hell!! This might be useful to know if you happen to be in the same predicament as us. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone with a Hell-mouth under their house, or anyone who suspects that they have one, or anyone who is incapable of crying.....
0Comment18 of 19 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 25 August 2009
Since recieving my Paul Ross print on the 26th of June I have been carrying on my life in an interminable clashing of joy and despair. For it was on that morning that the postman rang my doorbell laiden with the precious burden that I hoped would turn out to be the 20 inch box canvas print of my inspiration, my idol, and dare I say, friend, Mr Paul Ross. I had barely scribbled my name for the postie before I began to tear at the packaging, a grimace of pure elation pulling at my cheeks, and as the cardboard parted to reveal that countenance divine, just at that moment, just as I can picture him now mouthing the words, the postman blurted out,
"So you've heard Michael Jackson's dead then."
I dropped to my knees, my dressing gown billowing up to expose my modesty, the rough grazing of the door mat chafing at my shins. The postie shifted, spluttered a muted 'cheers mate' and was gone. I wept.

I don't remember the day getting darker, but as I rose my head and turned my rheum filled eyes to the dimly lit clouds I noticed the street lights had come on. I felt a desicated dryness at the back of my throat, my lips chapped and flaking. With my fingertips I pushed the door closed and turned my eyes back to the one good thing I could hold on to.
"You'll never laeve me," I whispered to the divine yet approachable face casually beaming up at me.

Since that day I have taken my 20 inch box canvas print of Paul Ross everywhere I go. If I weren't able to stare meditatively into the sublime walled-garden elsewhereness while conducting all of my day to day tasks and transactions I don't think I would have coped with the pop cataclysm nearly as well as I have been. I have finally managed to write this review with no small amount of effort by attaching a small mirror to one eye so that I can look at my computer screen and my 20 inch box canvas print of Paul Ross at the same time. It is important to me that people know that they can change their lives for the better, that they can find a refuge from all the malign forces in the world, and that it is only £48.93 and a couple of days away.

Thank you MirrorPrintStore for saving my life.

And thank you Paul Ross, you are my world.
0Comment18 of 19 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 1 January 2010
I bought this picture for my girlfriend at Christmas, but all she did was set fire to it and then attempt to put the fire out with an axe. Disappointing.
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on 11 June 2009
When I opened the massive box containing this beautiful box canvas, I cried out of joy and out of realising that it epitomised all of the good that us humans have done as a species. For all of the evils in the world we have done, at least we know human beings still have the most incredible skill in producing moving art, art which touches us in the depths of our hearts.

The canvas which proudly hangs above my mantlepiece may be a print but I do not care; I feel proud and humbled when I wake up in the morning, walk downstairs and see one of the most beautiful artworks ever created by humanity. I will often lose myself in time gazing at it, trying to appreciate the gaze of the wonderful model Mr. Ross or simply admiring the craft which went into producing the work.

Move over Monet and Manet - this is the most superb artwork ever created. In my opinion, it is unsurpassable.
0Comment6 of 6 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 15 September 2009
What I am about to write here has never been told to anyone before today.
In February of last year I was part of a low-profile police raid on a suspected terrorist cell meeting regularly in the New Forest. What we found that day had nothing in common with any terrorist organisation we had ever seen. We found their camp completely abandoned, as if some other-wordly force had informed them that we were coming. There was a strange insidious pall over the whole area and I felt irrationally terrified the whole time. The official report records signs of unusually low temperatures, recently disturbed earth and strange esoteric symbols carved into the trees. One stump in particular had been carved elaborately with the most horrific obscene imagery. It appeared to have been used as some sort of altar, possibly for human sacrifice. Since that day, many of my colleagues have struggled to comprehend what we saw in that clearing. I will never know what strange worships occurred there. What I do know is that only two pieces of evidence were recorded in the official report of what was recovered from that scene; a small man-shaped figurine carved from human bone, and the 20" box canvas I see advertised here.
0Comment45 of 48 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse

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