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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Many Techniques Really Work...although awkward at first
Although the analogy to prehistoric man is overdone a bit, there are so many sensible, clear strategies offered in this book to try with 1-4 year olds that really are working for us. We learned how to talk what the author calls "toddler-ese"...and it has really made a positive difference in the cooperation we are now getting from our 2 and 3 year olds. The author's...
Published on 28 May 2005

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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not a bad book
The book offers a number of tips on how to deal with toddlers, connect with their feelings, and avoid meltdowns. The author gives an interesting insight about how dealing with toddlers is similar to a diplomat's work. However, I didn't like the way the book was blown in size to make it seem worth the money. It could be summarised into 20 pages if all the examples,...
Published on 11 May 2009 by Y. Khatib


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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Many Techniques Really Work...although awkward at first, 28 May 2005
By A Customer
Although the analogy to prehistoric man is overdone a bit, there are so many sensible, clear strategies offered in this book to try with 1-4 year olds that really are working for us. We learned how to talk what the author calls "toddler-ese"...and it has really made a positive difference in the cooperation we are now getting from our 2 and 3 year olds. The author's suggeston of mirroring their feelings and "wants" with short, repeated phrases that reflect the child's words, tone and body lauguage has quickly and almost magically stopped much of my toddlers' defiant, annoying behaviors. Karp emphasizes that what you say to someone who is really upset is less important than HOW YOU SAY IT. And his theory has proven itself to be correct in our home.
The only suggestion in the book that I have a problem with is using a hook and eye latch to lock a child in his room even for a very short time-out. I feel this can be scary for the child and although it may get the child to know that you do mean business, I prefer not to get compliance from my children with fear, guilt or humiliation. Karp does suggest that you explain to the child in "toddler-ese" how the locking mechanism works so that he will know the door will not open when mom uses it.
I also recommend another one of my favorite parenting reference books as a compliment to Karp's hardcover book called "The Pocket Parent". This is a very practical, quick read, little paperback book loaded with many positive discipline and communications tips written exclusively for parents of 2-5 year olds. Peppered with humor and organized alphabetically by behaviors such as: Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, the "Gimmees", Interrrupting, Morning "Crazies", and Whining...Pocket Parent is a real sanity saver. Both books will lift your spirits with specific ideas to try as well as loads of compassionte support from authors that have been there, too... especially when you feel you are just about at the end of your tether with the little ones.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not a bad book, 11 May 2009
By 
Y. Khatib (Lancashire, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
The book offers a number of tips on how to deal with toddlers, connect with their feelings, and avoid meltdowns. The author gives an interesting insight about how dealing with toddlers is similar to a diplomat's work. However, I didn't like the way the book was blown in size to make it seem worth the money. It could be summarised into 20 pages if all the examples, cartoons and FAQ sections (which I didn't find very helpful at all, really) are taken out. I'd say it's not worth its retail price.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great general-purpose guide, 27 Jan 2010
This is a great book for those looking for general advice on how to approach problems of the 1-4yo agegroup.

It's easily skim-able. Really, you will do best if you move on once you have the main thrust of each section. This may mean reading some parts word for word, beginning to end, but if you have a handle on things before that, by all means skip right ahead. A lot of people will find they grasp most sections long before the end. The cartoons seemed like sheer padding to me, but perhaps a more visual person would use them instead of the text.

Because its aim is to give you a general *approach* to solving (or preventing) problems, don't expect to find an exhaustive list of specific sections telling you what to do for problem x or y. That said, there *are* quite a few specific topics (brushing teeth is one, for eg), but this is more of a "big picture" book. The idea is that, by the end, you will understand toddler behaviour better and have some tools for putting together constructive patterns of interaction. Personally, I think this is one of the great strengths of the book - it helps give you an approach which you can keep adapting to suit the situation, rather than sitting there til you have a problem, whereupon you thumb through a 793-page index of all problems kids have ever presented throughout history to find a laundry-list of possible solutions which you then have to choose from at whim and work through one by one, until eventually you come across a different problem and have to go thumbing through the 793-page index all over again. Note that my preference here has a lot to do with my own personality.

Definitely the way it's written it's most valuable if you give yourself time to come to grips with the overall idea before you have to start using it, rather than trying to use it to "put out fires". I started reading it after my child's first birthday, but should have started when he was about 8mo. As with any parenting book, don't kill yourself trying to follow it all down to the last miniscule detail, but take what works.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A theory that actually works like a charm!, 20 Jun 2012
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This book was a fairly quick and easy read, also very entertaining with funny quotes and cartoons. Why not have fun while making your toddler more co-operative and well-behaved? That's probably the central message of the book. Even with all the jokes and illustrations, the book remains grounded in theory and you will definitely find your mind being stretched and your intellect tested. This combination of fun and learning is partially why I am giving this book five stars.

But the entertaining read is not all. I am currently in the process of applying the methods presented in the book and have found them to be working like a charm! By no means it is easy, no it requires practise, and going back to re-read parts of the book time and time again. recently my babysitter has commented on how much calmer and more content my 15month toddler is. I have found it not at all an exaggeration when Dr Karp states a 50-90% reduction in the occurrence of tantrums immediately!

The book proposes a different way of looking at your toddlers, along with different methods of interacting with them than you are used to. I have recently been to a local parenting course and have found much of the information similar to that in this book. The problem is that the course missed fine details and was too general. For example I have learned from this book that if you don't apply the methods in the right way with the right level of empathy, like 'Time Out' for example, the results can be damaging. The book gave me a neat way to make sense of all the different ideas presented in the course and to put them all together into a coherent frame-work.

Note that this is not a manual with specific solutions to specific problems. It gives you a bigger picture view of how to interact with your toddler in day to day life, with a few specific examples.

Accompanying all the theoretical ideas in the book are easy to remember metaphors and stories which you can use as memory guides to help you to put the ideas into practise. e.g. think of your toddler as a little cave-man!

In summary of the contents: There are a couple of chapters teaching you how to react to all tantrums (FFR and Toddlerese. ) Then there is a chapter on green light behaviour which teaches you ways to give your toddler encouragement and positive attention when he is happy. (playing the boob, gossip...) Following is a chapter on yellow light behaviours which teaches ways to tame annoying behaviours. (kind ignoring) Then a chapter on red-light behaviours which are behaviours that you want to stop immediately. (time out and consequences. )

Watch this brilliant 3minute video on YouTube to see Dr Karp himself in action!
"Happiest Toddler Parents TV - For Mom"
[...]

I think this book contains invaluable wisdom of how to bring up children that has been lost in our modern isolated and nuclear family cultures. I believe all the advice comes from a place of love and kindness and that's why it works so well.

"There are times when parenthood seems like nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you." quote from book
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A reassuring, valuable tool, 10 July 2007
By 
M. Kagkelidou - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I was given this book by a colleague and I found it an excellent read that gave me a much needed confidence boost. As a new parent I had little experience with babies and saw them as mythical super-sensitive creatures. Dr Karp's book serves as a reminder that humnas have been having babies and rearing them succesfully since time immemorial - usin gresources that pale in comparison with what we have at our disposal.

He also reminds us that there is a reason that a number of baby calming techniques survived for centuries. His 5 Ss technique is super even for babies that do not have colics.

If you are about to have a baby buy this book!
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars good, but missing a couple of key topics, 23 May 2009
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The FFR rule is really good to know, but don't think you have to wade through so much piffle (who has the time, honestly some of these books are written as if you have all the leisure time in the world). So with a crying baby last thing at night after a long trying day with a 20-month-old, I turn to this book for help and looked at the index for these toddler-related problem areas: potty/toilet training (nope), sleeping issues (nope), and weaning (er, nope). (sigh). But his heart's in the right place and he does have good advice.
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars first half was quite interesting but then, quite a shock, 8 Dec 2012
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This review is from: The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition (Kindle Edition)
My daughter will be 1 soon and I found out about this book in a magazine and it sounded quite interesting. I was quite convinced by the FFR + toddlerese approach, which corresponds to a toddler version of the communication skills taught in books like How to talk to Kids... by Faber & Mazlish.

However, I was bitterly disappointed by the chapter about red light behaviours, for which Karp advocates daily time-outs for 12-month olds. Previously, I admit that I was also doubtful about the bribery, like offering cookies while changing nappies. To me, that's much more the TV nanny approach of rewards and punishment that I don't believe in anymore.

My daughter is not always an angel. She has pulled my hair and the dog's in the past. Of course I am not a pushover parent who tolerates any of that. I just don't believe that putting her again and again in a naughty corner, where she unlikely to stay put, will help her learn anything apart from maybe pulling hair without getting caught. What I believe in is supervising as much as possible and when she's about to pull someone's hair, stop her. If I can't catch her soon enough, I still take her hand away, look her in the eyes and say "that hurts". After several interventions, now it's been a while since she last pulled anyone's hair. Now, what I'm working on is screeching :)

One last example, last week we visited a family with a 2 yo boy who stumbled on my DD who was crawling on the floor. The mum was unhappy about it and her first reaction was to send him to the naughty corner. He did not move. As she didn't want to drag him there, she suggested as an alternative to make amends by apologising and giving my DD a kiss, after telling him that it hurts when he pushes a baby by trying to walk on her. He accepted that.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Nice book, 9 Feb 2014
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There are good tips in the book and we find ourselves, our situation and therefore it serves to our needs.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Good reading & Tips, 9 Oct 2013
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A good easy reading book! Good tips on how to approach and manage your child's behaviours. I purchased this for my daughter as my grandson aged 2 can be quite a handful,at times. All trial and error with individual children.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Great gift, 12 Aug 2013
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I got this for a friend so he can learn how to keep his wife in toe. Only joking, gift for friend who has their first child, they are very happy with this book and the advice in it. Hoping that in about 11 years there's one to teach you how to deal with stroppy teenagers!!
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