280 of 281 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Eyes Have It
When strolling the streets of LA or braving the subways of New York City, I'm often approached by fans. They are well-meaning and always polite, but unfortunately I'm often in a bit of a hurry and don't have the luxury to chat or pose for photos. For a time, I wore oversized sunglassses, but people often mistook me for Yoko Ono or more lately Psy, which only led to more...
Published 20 months ago by George Takei
89 of 97 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Sadly too powerful...
As the owner of the largest and most plushly outfitted trailer on the lot I often find myself subject to the envy and jealousy of other lesser men. Women desire my girthy XXXL frame but also fear it's obvious power- which is prodigous. Indeed, they often engage in cheap jibes and name calling in (generally unsuccessful) attempts to distance me and thus protect...
Published on 12 Feb. 2010 by D. Deacon
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280 of 281 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Eyes Have It,
When strolling the streets of LA or braving the subways of New York City, I'm often approached by fans. They are well-meaning and always polite, but unfortunately I'm often in a bit of a hurry and don't have the luxury to chat or pose for photos. For a time, I wore oversized sunglassses, but people often mistook me for Yoko Ono or more lately Psy, which only led to more awkward requests to cross my arms and pretend I was riding a pony.
So Brad ordered me the GREEN EYES CAT FACE by Mountain Tee and suggested I wear it whenever out in public.
It worked like a charm, at least for a time. People became so transfixed by the admittedly alarming cat print that they were often too embarrassed to make eye contact with the wearer, whom they could tell was, as expected, some septuagenerian Asian person.
My favorite response after a particularly long stare was to quip, "Hey. Buddy. EYES. UP. HERE." (It IS quite gratifying to say, ladies, I admit.) Another was to emit happy meows while stroking my chest adoringly. Nobody approaches someone so obviously one sushi roll short of a bento box.
In time, my antics began to annoy Brad. So to get back at me, he cut the pupils out of the shirt. On one particularly chilly evening, I simply couldn't understand why so MANY people were staring at my tee. I saw them squinting and overheard things like, "Are those his...Oh, God!" Brad let his prank continue all night, including through the book signing we were already late for. The fans there got a bit more Takei than they bargained for.
Well played, Brad. Well played.
953 of 977 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Feel their furry power!,
I have seen many t-shirts in my time - almost five - but none have inspired me in quite the same way.
One wolf is a luxury; two, pure decadence; but three? 'Surely no man wields such a mighty chest as to be able to harness these averagely transferred beasts?' thought I. But if mine were such a chest then perhaps womenfolk might gaze upon me and say 'Oooh'.
Sweating, I began furiously hitting the keys to place an order (not from Amazon, mind), there was not a moment to lose. 'There must be a Large left! There must be!'
I powered through the rest of the order like a man possessed with the spirit of a man really trying to order something quickly. I whipped out my credit card, but was instantly struck cold with the realisation that this plastic friend was at his limit. I reached down for another card, but that was for my current account, and there were Albanian shell suit merchants that had more money than could be found there. A third attempt only produced a Tesco Clubcard in the name of Mrs Olga Legg. Very odd.
What was going on? Did God hate me? Why was I being presented with such majesty, only to have its miniature form mock me on this screen, with no hope of ever securing one of my very own? I was running out of options like Mrs Legg was running out of opportunities for discounted beans.
Then I remembered; my savings! I could prize the cash from there and still have enough to buy a small doughnut in 2017, interest rates permitting. Result! I hit the last few buttons like an insolent child. Finally, it was done. And then came the wait...
Four days passed. Five. Six, seven. 'There must be a problem. It's been too long.' The second T-shirtless week came around like an unwanted relative. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. 'What if I entered the wrong address?' No, I had already checked that. 'What if there were none left in stock?' No, they would have told me, surely. 'What if the Royal Mail sorting office had been taken over by squirrels, demanding equality for rodents?' Possibly just the wrong side of unlikely.
Suddenly, the doorbell went. Now I really was nervous. Only once before had I been so nervous about cotton-based goods, and that was just a baseball cap that had a picture of an indifferent tortoise on it. This time it was wolves. Howling wolves. Three of them. And a moon. And probably some brief washing instructions.
I ran to the door and flung it open. When the postman had finished soiling himself, he leant forward awkwardly to hand over the parcel, trying admirably not to empty the contents of his trousers on my porch. It was here!
I can honestly say I've never looked back. I don't wear anything else. Literally. Sure, I've been arrested in every major supermarket for being naked from the waist down and limited washing has meant that I smell faintly of mushroom, but the wolves are a greater power and I no longer recognise Earth's laws.
If you embrace nothing else in your life, dear reader, embrace this T-shirt. If you don't, small girls will laugh at you in the street, you'll be denied service at most leading fast-food outlets, and you'll almost certainly be refused entry to Butlins.
311 of 324 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars There's just something missing...,
Don't get me wrong, this T-shirt is ace. I just can't help thinking an additional Wolf wouldn't go a miss.
(P.S I've rated this 4 stars. 1 for each Wolf and 1 for the moon. If the seller wants another star, then I want another Wolf....or another moon)
165 of 177 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Power up of the wolf,
Since buying this t shirt my attack points have increased by 3, defence by 4 and luck, magic attack and magic defense have all reached maximum. On the negative side Chuck Norris is hunting me down to get his t shirt back.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It surprised even myself.,
I bought this for myself as a present to myself, boy what a delight to unwrap. It had a tag both attached to and also loose from the shirt itself, unheard of these days!
I saw a guy with his long grey hair tied into a pony tail whilst pushing his nan around in her chair in town the other day wearing a shirt similar to this (hence the purchase) but the internet wasn't fast enough to reveal the image clearly enough before my purchase for me to check that I was in fact buying that same shirt that I saw before.
To my surprise this shirt has more than one wolf on it.
Three wolves seem to be howling in unison at a moon. Incredible.
I havent seen anyone with a shirt such as this. Neither have any of the ladies down my local, they were more than impressed. One of them took me home and tried to walk around wearing just my shirt the next morning! Since washing the shirt then some of the colours ran into my other clothes but this only seemed to make the garments even more desirable to women than before.
Each wolf you look at is singing it's own emotional ballad calling out for their love of the night. With this power multiplied three times it is obvious a woman would be drawn to it (who isn't?).
I have to wear a jacket over the shirt sometimes to cover it, or at least one of the wolves as it seems to have the same effect on animals that are let loose in the park.
After washing it again the colours seem to blend perfectly to compliment the moon that rests above the wolves, it is similar to staring in to a crystal ball.
After a few hours certain wishes that I made in to it became true, I am now able to adjust my posture to create some striking catalogue style poses and more interestingly one nipple has moved slightly higher to where the moon would be situated on the shirt.
Satisfaction such as this doesn't happen every day. When this shirt first was placed upon my frame I knew that it wasn't just my life that had changed, thousands of people in my postcode began feeling it too.
Great things happen in three's but even greater things happen in three's under a moon.
69 of 75 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Holy Wail,
Some search for it all their lives. Religion, spirituality, meditation all provide access to it. But for some reason, we never truly reach 'it'. What is this 'it'? IT is the power of the universe - the feeling of transcending our own ego and becoming one with the cosmos. IT can be achieved - THREE WOLF MOON be thy passage.
I bought the shirt for a laugh, amused by what i thought to be mock reviews. Maybe some people would 'get' the irony. Perhaps girls would think i'm quite funny, maybe i could geek them into bed.
On the contrary.
Upon it's delivery, i was pleasantly surprised to be given the parcel by a unusually hot female delivery girl. Golden locks of hair twirled down to a buxom cleavage.
"You don't get many girls doing this" I mused, my clumsy attempt at conversation showing up my social retardation.
"It's a one-off" she replied, "My father told me to do the rounds today, he said that he'd been informed of a 'special package', and that I'd know what to do at the right time".
I laughed out loud.
"What's so funny?" she asked
"Sounds almost sexual!" I chortled
"I know right? Well he has been keep a tight grasp on my virginity even for a catholic priest, he says that the right man will be of noble character, that he will be pure, and he will have within him the spirit of the Three Wolf...."
"Moon?" I said.
Her eyes unfurled like a flower to the sun, pupils swelling like a double dose of disco biscuits.
"This is...what i think it is?" she asked.
"I think you better come in." said I
The rest of that morning shall remain a gentleman's secret. I had never had the same luck with girls as my friends did before that day - now it's nothing to do with luck for me. The shirt...it's...it's got a power. It's elemental, i feel like i can do anything with it on. Girl, even when they are walking hand in hand with their boyfriend will stop in their tracks, jaw dropped and rape me with their eyes. I get followed a lot. Most times, in fact. If i go to a club, it's like swimming with sharks - hot, horny sharks.
I have learned to surf, ski, play the bass guitar - hell, i'm even top of the class in the Taikwondo lessons i've started to take.
I used to be unconfident, i used to feel like a geek - now i let the Three Wolves speak.
89 of 97 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Sadly too powerful...,
As the owner of the largest and most plushly outfitted trailer on the lot I often find myself subject to the envy and jealousy of other lesser men. Women desire my girthy XXXL frame but also fear it's obvious power- which is prodigous. Indeed, they often engage in cheap jibes and name calling in (generally unsuccessful) attempts to distance me and thus protect themselves from the consequences of their own lust.
I purchased the wolf shirt in an attempt to ease these fears and show the proles that I was just like them. A more attractive and successful version perhaps but still very definitely a man of the people. Alas, I have found that the wolf shirt only exacerbates these issue leading me to believe that it's power may be even greater than many have claimed.
After three straight weeks of wearing my wolf shirt every day I found that the people of Manchester kept their distance from me even more so than before. Obviously they were intimidated and awed by the beauty and power of the shirt.
So ultimately I cannot recommend purchase of this shirt. Though it's attractions are obvious and keenly felt by me I believe that it puts its wearer on a different plane to the other humans which- while flattering- will ultimately lead to isolation and loneliness. For this reason I sadly had to bury my wolf shirt in the back yard. I was not surprised to see that two days later a fine bush of roses grew from the very spot I had planted it.
179 of 196 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's finally here!,
After waiting patiently for many, many months I finally got the chance to purchase the fabled Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, I purchased seven of these beauties without delay. I was distressed to find the T-shirts had been creased during the delivery, so I slapped the delivery man across the face.
They needed an iron to de-crease them, but how could I impose such danger upon the shirts with a hot metallic object? I sprinted to the nearest church to purchase a gallon of Holy Water to fill the iron up; prayed that the wolves did not damage in any way. I was a fool, of course the the wolves would not damage, they are as strong as steel, no, stronger than steel and the creases just disappeared almost instantly upon touching the surface of the iron.
It was time to wear one of the shirts, my hands shivering uncontrollably as they passed through the sleeves of grandeur, my head pounding as it passed through the monumental collar. And that, was the define moment I became a man. I looked into the mirror to find not just one, but three wolves howling unforgivingly at the silvery, sparkling moon. I couldn't resist the urge to join in, because at that moment, was the greatest moment of my entire life, and no one could take that away from me.
I would fully recommend the shirt to anyone, to of any age, but I want the shirts for myself. A dozen more are on their way. Don't feel anger, or regret, should the shirt be out of stock, feel exhilaration, and happiness, for I have been blessed.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Guaranteed success instantly!,
When I first heard about the magical properties of the Three Wolf Moon shirt, like many people I was sceptical, how can the purchase of a simple yet groovy t shirt change one's life I asked. Here is my testimony.
My name is Loretta, and I come from Ilford, I left school with no qualifications, and have worked as a toilet cleaner for most of my life. I dreamed about becoming an international supermodel, but as I was eighteen stone and had buck teeth and wore pebble glasses, I had to give up on my dream. That was until last year, when I was introduced to the Three Wolf Moon shirt by a former colleague. She purchased the shirt, and within a month had signed a three album deal with Sony, and won gold in the Winter Olympics slalom. What was miraculous was she could neither sing not ski!!
I had to try this out for myself, so I ordered the shirt right away from Amazon. It came swiftly, and I was so excited as it was dropped in my yard immediately by drone.
As soon as I put it on, I felt a tingle of electricity and pixie dust. That night, I sat down to watch the lotto, and all my numbers came up! I thought this must have been a fluke, but when I went out clubbing that night in my groovy magic wolf shirt, I attracted to attention of a Russian plutocrat, and he proposed marriage right away! I now live in a Beverly Hills mansion, and have a Lear jet and a private racing stable in my back yard!
I cannot recommend this product enough, it has changed my life!
The only problem is I have had to order another one, as I am now a trim size 8.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Three Wolves, One Cup,
I wanted a t shirt with a picture of the moon on and hadn't noticed it also featured the image of three wolves, baying soulfully as though lamenting a wild, prehistoric world of limitless freedom and power, until I got it out of its packaging.
I wore it to work, I'm a high court judge, and before I knew it I was sentencing criminals to lengthy jail terms with lip smacking relish and a zeal that had my colleagues on the bench murmuring that I had lost all sense of proportion and respect for due process.
"Tell it to the wolves!" I exclaimed, leering close into their faces so they could see I meant business.
So buying this product has given me not just a stylish and versatile upper body garment, but also a great catchphrase that I hope might make many a footpad or ne'er do well operating in the Leicestershire area think twice before going on a shoplifting spree or contemplating a serious sexual assault.
Sleeping out in the shrubs that border my garden has actually improved my marriage and my unkempt and unpleasant physical presence has only added to my mystique among friends and family.
I give this four stars, rather than five, only because after being worn non-stop for eight weeks, often in thickets of brambles or farmer's barns, it rather loses its shape.
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The mountain Smokin' Jahman (medium adult) by The Mountain