Customer Reviews


885 Reviews
5 star:
 (633)
4 star:
 (111)
3 star:
 (49)
2 star:
 (22)
1 star:
 (70)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
Share your thoughts with other customers
Create your own review
 
 

The most helpful favourable review
The most helpful critical review


33,089 of 33,554 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't...
Published on 24 Jan 2012 by Andrew

versus
5,974 of 6,685 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably...
Published on 17 April 2012 by The Cantankerous Tiger


‹ Previous | 1 289 | Next ›
Most Helpful First | Newest First

33,089 of 33,554 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


1,050 of 1,123 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Veet -- the Men Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . ., 30 July 2012
By 
John W. Osborne Jr. "Josbo7" (St. Petersburg, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies (American: "dingle-berries") looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm your Venus, I'm your fire..., 4 May 2012
By 
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Prof Brian Cox once enlightened me about the magical, fiery world of Venus. It is covered with clouds of sulfuric acid and has the densest atmosphere of all the terrestrial planets in the Solar System. The pressure at the planet's surface is 92 times that of Earth. A runaway greenhouse effect caused any oceans to evaporate long ago. Temperatures soared leaving only a dry desertscape, periodically refreshed by volcanic eruptions. Probes have detected abundant lightning in the upper atmosphere where it regularly rains sulfuric acid. The surface of Venus reaches temperatures of over 460°C, all of which explains why Venus is often said to resemble traditional accounts of Hell.

All this talk of Cox and the surface of hell brings me neatly to my review of Veet For Men Hair Removal Gel Creme. Imagine severing your gonads with a rusty penknife and then parachuting them through the sulfuric acid clouds of Venus down to the fiery, volcanic hell below. Applying Veet to your testicles is about 4 times more painful than this.

(I am giving this product a 5 because my pods are now as pube-free as the surface of Venus*).

* None of the probes sent to Venus has found any evidence of pubic hairs on the surface.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


5,974 of 6,685 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION, 17 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

In summary:

Pros: A small expense, certainly didn't burn a hole in my pocket.

Cons: Did burn a hole in my scrotum

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


96 of 107 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My nipsy is smooth but I now have to wear nappies., 6 Jun 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Rubbed it onto my bum crack and chocolate starfish and left it for an hour. My ringpiece now resembles the leftovers of last nights kebab. I look like I've been fisted by Dumbo. Highly recommended product.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


2,553 of 2,888 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good results at first interrogation, 25 April 2012
By 
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


3,176 of 3,599 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Increased Sports Performance Bonus, 24 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished scrotum pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox.

Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat.

He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try.

Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my cock eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork.

I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared.

When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off.

Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team.

5 Stars from me.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


297 of 336 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Please dilute before use, 20 April 2012
By 
D. Hayes - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
I recommend diluting before use. Personally I diluted it with Deep Heat and Oven Cleaner and the resulting pain in my balls was far more bearable. Do NOT get this stuff on your bell-end.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


666 of 755 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars good product, 15 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


1,092 of 1,239 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sweet Baby Jesus deliver me from this torment, 30 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Possessing as I do a genital cluster that bears an uncanny resemblance (and indeed aroma) to Chewbacca's armpit, I decided to purchase this product. Upon applying the creme to my tassel and conkers, I was taken aback by a sudden and disturbing gasping noise, followed by a sound that I can only describe as the horrific howlings from Satan's own Hell Hound, Cerberus. As I whirled around to view the source of the noise, I perchanced to glance in the bathroom mirror, and, seeing my own mouth stretched agape in a terrible rictus of agony, I deduced the sound was coming from me.

My eyes widening with mounting horror, I surveyed the damage occurring to my sausage and beans with no small sense of panic. My pubes were actually bubbling and fizzing, in much the same way they might if one of James Cameron's Aliens had just sprayed their acid blood upon them. There were no swear words strong enough to adequately describe the agony, and in my delirium I began making them up. I don't recall exactly what I screamed, but I'm fairly sure the entirely-new expletive "funting" was employed.

With as much haste as I could muster I hobbled into the shower and applied cooling water to the conflagration in my crotch, which only served to spread the napalm to my perineum. I am not a church-going man but as I felt the flaming horror trickle across that tender inch of no-man's land, I confess that I prayed aloud to Jesus and his host of angels that the advancing agony would not stray into my buttonhole. However, my prayers went unheeded, and as I felt the liquid inferno sizzle its way into my most private of eyes, I lost consciousness, but not before grabbing the shower curtain and collapsing, in a disturbing echo of that famous scene from Hitchcock's "Psycho". Although believe me, being hacked to death by Norman Bates in a dress would have been a walk in the park compared to the searing agony I endured that fateful day.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


‹ Previous | 1 289 | Next ›
Most Helpful First | Newest First

This product

Only search this product's reviews