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32,769 of 33,220 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't...
Published on 24 Jan 2012 by Andrew

versus
5,894 of 6,586 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably...
Published on 17 April 2012 by The Cantankerous Tiger


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32,769 of 33,220 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
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669 of 724 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Veet -- the Men Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . ., 30 July 2012
By 
John W. Osborne Jr. "Josbo7" (St. Petersburg, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies (American: "dingle-berries") looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
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42 of 46 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars When's the book!, 22 May 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Can't speak about the product, but the book certain to be a best seller! Laughed till I couldn't breathe! Thank you!
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5,894 of 6,586 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION, 17 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

In summary:

Pros: A small expense, certainly didn't burn a hole in my pocket.

Cons: Did burn a hole in my scrotum

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.
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252 of 281 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Please dilute before use, 20 April 2012
By 
D. Hayes - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I recommend diluting before use. Personally I diluted it with Deep Heat and Oven Cleaner and the resulting pain in my balls was far more bearable. Do NOT get this stuff on your bell-end.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The rumors are true.. Dont do it!!!, 31 Jan 2014
By 
J Chambers (UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Stupidly, i never read the previous reviews before ordering this product, I simply took the advice of one rather obscure online forum which suggested (quite wrongly) that this would be both effective and pain-free.

The cream arrived today and luckily, I read some reviews before slapping it all on. I erred well and truly on the side of caution, and tested an area of my balls the size of a pinhead. I rubbed it in, so far so good. I sat there for a minute, no problems. 2, 3, 4. Everything was fine, I used the little spatula provided to scrape of the excess and that was that. I was still. however, apprehensive, and so did a second test on an area of increased growth and about double the size. I was rather impressed with the results - not squeaky clean just yet but it was only a test. I concluded that all these 'men' that had reviewed the product had simply used far too much - from my experience so far I inferred they must have been using more or less the whole bottle to warrant such a ridiculous reaction.

How wrong was I?

I'd proceeded to cover my balls in their entirety in a nice even coating, a little more than my tests but not excessive by any means. The moment I put the bottle down the tingling began. All of those reviews started appearing as paranormal visions before my eyes. I gulped. The tingling increased, and that was it. The shower was on. I scrubbed with my hands, I soaped up, I rinsed, and I can say with honour that I survived! At present I am slightly red down there but theres no pain. So, a note to my fellow brothers out there: If, like me, you think you were the alpha-male. If you think the cream could be tamed. If you are brave and foolhardy enough to accept this most honourable challenge. For goodness sake stand within a foot of the shower, because believe me, Veet will never be beat!
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35 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's a miracle!, 29 Sep 2014
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I never dared to dream that one day I'd be regional scrabble champion but I've learned that dreams do come true and it's all thanks to this incredible product! The extended and intimate relationship I've formed with the surgeon performing the reconstructive surgery has added many anatomical terms to my vocabulary, including "perianal" which comes to 80 points when you add in the 50 point bonus for using all seven letters and a triple word score. Also, I've discovered that the standing position offers a much clearer view of the board.
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33 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars and i thought teaching was painful, 24 April 2014
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I waited until my wife Claire was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)
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64 of 72 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I didn't expect an ASBO, 29 Dec 2013
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being the "new romantic" kind of guy, I like to engage with women on an intimate level. It's not really my fault if these engagements only normally last a night.
Bring cocky, I had let the "hedge trimming" slide a little bit. Then I made the ultimate mistake ... Mixing work and pleasure. After a few drinks, we ended up making a close inspection of my Fiat Chinquechento (her closer than me). My performance was, to be polite, below par. This was confirmed the next week by a bottle of Veet and dome of those men's toilet viagra-esque pills waiting for me on my locker. I threw it in my car and forgot about it ...
Until, a few weeks later, I met a lovely young filly in the pub next to a supermarket corner shop. We got chatting and things soon got intimate. Realising I had not "tidied the allotment", I had a sudden realisation that the aforementioned bottle of "Scrotum Smoother 6000" in the car.
Retrieving the bottle from the boot, I decided that so as not to look weird, I went to the supermarket next door and utilised their facilities.
With trousers at floor level and under crackers off, I liberally applied the gel to my "lady destroyer" and the Mitchell brothers. Getting my phone out and noting the time, I expected it to be a sexy rinse like on the adverts. Oh how wrong I was.
A gentle warmth ebbing from my "love spuds" soon turned into a heat that made me want to tear my scrotum clear from my under carriage.
I was crying like a college girl with a positive pregnancy test. At this point, my "love pole" had developed a pulse and a red glow that Dulux would find difficult to match. Placing my member in the sink and desperately dabbing my "pressure release valve" with cold water, I had quickly come to the realisation that without drastic action, I would soon be placing my "pork sword" in a frame on my bedroom wall.
I decided to run for it, straight to the freezer and for a bag of peas to mould to my now fiery and glowing chassis. In my haste to stop my scrotum from melting clear off my body, I forgot to redress my lower half.
The sight of a crying man with an exposed, but remarkably bald "pussy plunger" and what can only be described as an arse that looked like he had just been filmed by the Discovery Channel desperately digging for peas, left the staff mildly bewildered. Unsurprisingly, the local gendarme arrived soon after. It's safe to say, I didn't get chance to return to the pub. I ended up spending the night at "Her Majesty's Pleasure".
I did end up getting intimate that night, but I don't want to talk about that ...
I give this product 5 stars as my new prison husband was very impressed at the smoothness.
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2,488 of 2,809 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good results at first interrogation, 25 April 2012
By 
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus
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