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32,495 of 32,924 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't...
Published on 24 Jan 2012 by Andrew

versus
5,799 of 6,469 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably...
Published on 17 April 2012 by The Cantankerous Tiger


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32,495 of 32,924 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
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35 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The veet pantomime, 27 Sep 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I have yet to disclose the events of my own personal holocaust to anybody but I fear if I don't pass on my unfortunate wisdom many other nieve and mislead tackle bearers will suffer. The excitement Beamed across my boat race like a school kid discovering a catapult in a teachers drawer, when I stumbled across a delightful potion in Boots, that's packaging informed me of its radical hair removal powers. As my nether regions consisted of the aroma of a baked nappy and the pubic aesthetic of Susan Boyle giving don king a headlock I believed this mystical broth was needed. Picture if you will me casually sitting on the edge of my bed, full length mirror in front of me, tube in hand ready to smother the butter liberally across my pork sword, garnish and towel holder. Something that will remain the biggest regret of my existence would be the fact that screaming up at me, like a distressed borrower the box in which resided the instructions lay untouched on the floor...I set about patting the enchanted cream on and around my giggle stick duck eggs as,well as coating my brown eye. For the first 1.6 seconds the experience was mildy pleasing. The faint sound of dissolving skin should of been my cue to stop this charade, as should have the mini Indian sending me smoke signals from my nest of pubis. This was not the case, as I gazed into my mirror face to face with the haunting image of my impersonation of scream being entered. It dawned upon me that "veet" was infact pronounced "medieval devils fire juice", my sorry pouch glistening like Rudolphs snout was throbbing like it had been harpooned by davey jones himself. The pain if this torrid affair can only be compared to that of giving birth to twin bison. pouncing like a praying mantis I galloped into my bathroom flapping at the cold tap like a demented sea lion, ballon knot leaking syrupy lava and marble bag sagging like an empty breast. I frantically jiggled around my tub like a cat thrown in a pond. As the water turned into a creamy pubic stew the pain barrier having been laughed at 50 shades of agony ago, I mustered up the courage to view my sizzling manhood and exit the water. Hobbling like a 3 legged giraffe I managed to reach my bedroom without cardiac arrest from the unbearable sensation my genitals were currently experiencing. Opening my eyes in the mirror, to the sight of Picasso's artistic impression of a marble bag having gone 12 rounds with mike Tyson. My prolapsed button pulsating and my main vain quivering like a new born mole with Parkinson's. having almost come to terms with my near successful attempt at manual castration the room filled with the stench of burnt ballbag and bloodied faecical matter I knew my only hope was to try and sleep this tainted experience off. gobbling down a proverbial smorgasbord of prescription narcotics I dozed off. Weather or not it was shock, the painkillers or flashbacks from my veet pantomime I was embarking on a dream that saw david Beckham being awarded a barrage of free kicks using my swollen luminous egg bag as a ball, only to awake and find this sensation was infact a reality. 7 weeks and 1 dermatologist consultancy later I am proud to be the bearer of a full array of wiry, very deserved man pubes that will never under go an experience quite like there predecessors. I will award veet for men 5 stars as not only does it remove hair,dignity and a part of your soul. for your money you are given a life long mental film reel of your most tender of moments. BE WARNED
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253 of 281 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Veet -- the Men Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . ., 30 July 2012
By 
John W. Osborne Jr. "Josbo7" (St. Petersburg, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies (American: "dingle-berries") looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
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175 of 194 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laughed til we were as red as those balls, 5 May 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Thank you so much you silly men who have made my mum and I cry with laughter over their de-fuzzing techniques. The best laugh I have had for a long time.
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5,799 of 6,469 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION, 17 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

In summary:

Pros: A small expense, certainly didn't burn a hole in my pocket.

Cons: Did burn a hole in my scrotum

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.
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2,410 of 2,719 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good results at first interrogation, 25 April 2012
By 
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus
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1,711 of 1,934 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Spiced nuts, 3 May 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Sergeant slaughter and his two lovely daughters
Do get the occasional trim.
New bird on the stage, nearly half my age
My purchase a bit of a whim

The instruction book did not get a look
I thought I knew how to use Veet
Whipped out my tower, whilst stood in the shower
Spreading it liberally all over my meat

I flipped off the cap, lifted up the old chap
Pushing the limits i'm sure
I wanted to groom in the valley of doom
Now my starfish is bleeding and raw

I tried to keep calm washing off the napalm
Leaving me all of a fluster
You could boil a small lake or cook a big steak
With the heat from my genital cluster.

Less grass on the wicked, but all's still not cricket
It does add an inch or two
A full week past, how long will it last?
Still unable to sit, stand or poo.

You may well cry but tears will dry,
Leaving balls as smooth as jam jars,
My slong looks huge, still no sign of pubes
So i'm happy to award it 5 stars
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3,093 of 3,497 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Increased Sports Performance Bonus, 24 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished scrotum pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox.

Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat.

He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try.

Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my cock eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork.

I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared.

When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off.

Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team.

5 Stars from me.
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406 of 459 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars In every man's heart there is a devil, but we do not know the man as bad until the devil is roused, 20 May 2012
By 
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I accidentally applied this product to my womb raider, coin purse and coal hole after mistaking it for almond flavoured cake icing (it was my wife's birthday). Within eight minutes I was positioning myself on a railway line in a desperate attempt to remove the lower half of my body and thus relieving me of the phenomenal pain inflicted upon me by this work of unspeakable evil. Alas, my attempts were futile as all trains were cancelled due to another Veet related incident further up the line.

I drifted in and out of consciousness for the next two weeks, after which I awoke at the bottom of a railway embankment surrounded by the lifeless bodies of several species of local wildlife which had succumbed to their curiosity and strayed too close to my horrendously super-heated pubic region. The unimaginably wicked stench of the singed fur of a short-tailed weasel will haunt me for the rest of my now severely diminished days.

Following my eventual rescue by Eastern European copper thieves, I was informed by the doctors in the burns unit that, such was the biblical scale of the damage inflicted upon my gentleman's truffles, I can expect my children, my children's children and my children's children's children to be born with permanent alopecia and thus meaning my genetic legacy to the human race will be a sub-species closely resembling 80's animated TV star, Morph.

Does anybody know if they sell this in a bigger tube?
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1,967 of 2,225 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not for nose hair, 14 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Although I understood the part about 'intimate use' I could not find anything about this not being for nose or ear hair. I get fed up with constantly cutting myself whilst trying to cut my ear and nose hair with a pair of Kitchen Scissors, so I decided that this product would work for me. I rubbed it up into my nostrils and around the outside of my ears. Very soon the burn started and trust me it really makes your eyes water. Probably more that if it was on your knob or bollocks like the other reviewer did. If your eyes do water, make sure the product is not on your hands when you go to wipe your eyes as this porodcut also removes eyelashes and eyebrows and makes youe eyes water even more. I look like I have been put on a sunbed for too long and people keep asking me why I am crying. Still, a good product which does what it says.
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