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33,857 of 34,385 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't...
Published on 24 Jan. 2012 by Andrew

versus
6,177 of 6,940 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably...
Published on 17 April 2012 by The Cantankerous Tiger


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33,857 of 34,385 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan. 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
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2,075 of 2,211 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Veet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . ., 30 July 2012
By 
John W. Osborne Jr. "Josbo7" (St. Petersburg, FL) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
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6,177 of 6,940 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION, 17 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

In summary:

Pros: A small expense, certainly didn't burn a hole in my pocket.

Cons: Did burn a hole in my scrotum

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars perfect!!, 11 Nov. 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
It is said that humans took their first upright step away from our ape ancestors a little over 4 million years ago in the Great Rift Valley in Kenya. From reading the accounts of this marvellous product it seems that some in modern day Milton Keynes are suffering something of a regression.

The key thing is to use sparingly. Just whift it near your gonads and you'd better have the ice cream ready. And please remember to only put the ice cream back in the freezer if you're expecting the mother in law around for Sunday lunch. She's unlikely to notice the odd curly in her tootie-fruity and it really does do a great job of tactfully removing her moustache. My kids thought I'd shaved their hamsters when I showed them granny's cup after she'd polished off her after dinner cuppa.

Used neat though and this stuff immediately reverses 4 million years of evolution; in fact if you want to know the effect this will have on your sack and crack just go to google images and type in `Baboons Arse'
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2,704 of 3,071 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good results at first interrogation, 25 April 2012
By 
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus
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741 of 842 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars good product, 15 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5
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52 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Smooth as a baby's bum at last, 11 Oct. 2013
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
I've hit that fabulous age when a man says to himself, "You know what, I'll look really good in head to toe lycra, sweating and puffing away on an expensive bicycle". Of course to really look the part of the professional, a hair-free look is required. Before going whole-body on it I decided to test it on an area out of view just to make sure it worked. As my girlfriend refers to my gentleman's area as, "Mr Snuffleupagus" I decided that this would be a wise area to start with. Now, I didn't go all gung-ho and silly like lots of the others here. I heeded the words of my brethren and so avoided the family jewels and instead decided to only try to remove the pant-moustache. I put my favourite budgie-smugglers on for extra security for my undercarriage and liberally applied Veet for men at the tops of my legs while happily picturing the joy on my girlfriend's face when she saw that my magic stick no longer looked like Merv Hughes once my strides hit the deck. Time ticked by and there was a bit of discomfort but nothing like what the others are reporting so I felt quite smug in that either they are all just big girls blouses or they were doing it wrong. This all changed when I came to wash it off. I couldn't be bothered to shower so just gave a quick wipe with a gentle cloth. Instead of removing everything, it seemed to just move it around and strengthen its power. As the heat grew to thermonuclear levels I realised that my speedos had disintegrated and the Veet was making a break for the yoghurt cannon. My panic was not quick enough. The conkers got roasted before I'd even taken 2 steps. It was now too late for the shower. I needed water, lots of it, fast. Fortunately the neighbours have a pool in their backyard. Unfortunately they were in it in my time of need. My neighbour covered his wife's eyes as my bouncing banana came full pelt towards them after a vault over the low gate. Just as well as she wasn't wearing sunnies and the glare from my sizzling jacobs would have burned her retinas. I jumped in and immediately the pulsating agony began to subside.
A few minutes passed while we all composed ourselves. Mysteriously all of the water had disappeared from the pool and had been replaced by a weird mat on the bottom of the pool. Turns out it was just the right amount of water to dilute the veet for maximum performance. All three of us stood there like those Egyptian hairless cats. You can't help but to be impressed with how well it works and my girlfriend now has to find a new name for my man-parts.
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30 of 34 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Removing my bush, 15 Sept. 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
I have a condition where I can only assume someone previously in my family tree had marital affairs with the local wolf man, as my tallywacker and nuggets are hidden amongst the largest mass of hair that is only comparable to O.J. Simpsons wig from the Naked Gun Series, so for many years i have struggled at taming this jungle into submission; Then I start to read the wonderful reviews on here and feel this is the product for me and as long as I have prepared myself properly I will never have to worry about my 70's bush ever again.

I orderd a couple of tubes as I felt one was never going to be enough to tackle the enormity of my problem and on arival I imediately setup everything including a nice ice bath,as reading the other reviews had me a little bit concerned, although having been part wolfman beleived I had a higher pain threshold than these other lightweights but was fully prepared any in case.

I started coating everything in and around my nether regions with these 2 tubes of Veet for men and then was looking in the full length bathroom cabinet mirror for the first sign of results - after about 30 seconds I started to feel the warming effect of this cream and then noticing that my merkin is now starting to dissolve before my very eyes, at this point I smiled to myself and started thinking how this will change my life - BIG MISTAKE as I am suddenly brought back to reality from my future daydreaming to a hot searing pain coming from below, this pain is now increasing exponentially at an alarming rate with my todger and plums starting to smoke profusely I jump into the icebath I had meticulously setup earlier and believed my troubles were sorted if with only minor injurys to the tackle and a steam filled bathroom, again reality snapped me back as flames underneath the water like a welders torch had burnt a hole in the bottom of the bath and the water and ice was dissapearing fast - my only hope was the fire extinguisher I keep in the garden shed for my parts below now looking like a stubby lightsaber and a couple of plasma balls as I catch a glance of them whilst leaping out the bath and jumping down the entire stairs in search of the extinguisher; I make it outside and to the shed door quicker than the government can spend your taxes, fling open the door grab the extinguisher and engulf my wedding tackle in CO2 Powder, as the powder dispearses, I can only describe what i saw as similar to what happened in Raiders of the Lost Arc when they opened the arc of the covenant, a fast melting of everything this cream had come in contact with.

All in all a great hair removal product, but only 4 Stars from me as the castration was not quite the look I was going for.
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378 of 430 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars OMG!! So so funny!, 27 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
This was the most fantastic product ever invented due to the hilarity it has produced for all us women!! Most definitely THE funniest reviews EVER!!!!!
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3,258 of 3,715 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Increased Sports Performance Bonus, 24 April 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care)
As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished scrotum pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox.

Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat.

He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try.

Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my cock eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork.

I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared.

When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off.

Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team.

5 Stars from me.
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