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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ahh nostalgia...
I love this game! The number of utterly hilarious jokes they manage to fit in while at the same time providing an engaging and addictive game is truly commendable. No matter where you look there is a laugh to be found somewhere; the staff CVs include descriptions such as 'Plays Theme Park a lot' 'Smuggles fake watches' and 'Terrible at the job, a possible liabilty', the...
Published on 5 Sep 2004 by Mr. C. A. Pettitt

versus
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Great game, shame you need an ancient computer to use it.
Played this game since I was very young and enjoyed it thoroughly and would do still. Worth buying if you have an old spec computer. It doesn't work well on some XP's and I recently picked up a Sold Out version like this that claimed to work on Vista, but it stalls repeatedly and has become aggravating to play, as it can last for half and hour to a few seconds before...
Published on 8 Feb 2010 by S. King


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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ahh nostalgia..., 5 Sep 2004
By 
Mr. C. A. Pettitt "Christovsky" (Surrey, England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
I love this game! The number of utterly hilarious jokes they manage to fit in while at the same time providing an engaging and addictive game is truly commendable. No matter where you look there is a laugh to be found somewhere; the staff CVs include descriptions such as 'Plays Theme Park a lot' 'Smuggles fake watches' and 'Terrible at the job, a possible liabilty', the diseases and their descriptions are plain ridiculous at times, and announcements on the intercom are anything but serious. Even after all this time playing I still burst into hysterics at times when I recall a particularly funny moment.
The idea is, of course, to run a hospital - building rooms, hiring staff, etc. - but only in the loosest sense of the word, because although curing patients is one of the criteria for victory there are many others, one of which is making a big wad of cash out of the lot of them. This can be done honestly or through (much more effective) corrupt means, which may involve sending patients through unnecessary extra diagnosis to make more money out of them, conducting nefarious research projects involving the autopsy, or attempting to cover up epidemics before the health inspectors find out about them. Missions such as the epidemics or emergency situations in which you can attempt to cure a rabble of dying patients for a bonus, as well as the less demanding but perhaps most rewarding past-time of shooting rats as they run across the floors of the more filthy hospitals, keep the game exciting, and a progressive approach to the facilities available to you as you move through the stages means that every level, if a bit repetitive to begin with, has something new to offer.
I've already mentioned the humour appeal above but I don't think I can finish without mentioning a few of the diseases you can come across, for instance:
Baldness - caused by telling lies about how great you are
Slack-Tongue - in which the engorged tongue is removed with a somewhat painful-looking piece of machinery
The King Syndrome - cured when a psychiatrist convinces the blue suede shoe clad patient of how ridiculous they look (I've never quite understood how patients can die from this if the cure fails!)
Uncommon Cold and Third-Degree Sideburns - just the names are great
Anyway if you don't have the game I hope you'll get it soon, if you already do and just look through these reviews for the same reason I do then I hope I've reminded you of some of the great things about it and enticed you into playing it again! You won't regret it ;)
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Theme Hospital, 9 April 2004
By 
Anonymous Astronaut (Orbiting the Earth on my NASA space shuttle) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
I thoroughly enjoyed playing theme hospital. The levels can be a little simple compared to some more modern games, but no doubt this is a classic.
You, as owner of a hospital must satisfy your patient's needs. You hire doctors, nurses, receptionists, handymen. You design the layout of your hospital with waiting areas, GP's offices and so on. Place plant pots, vending machines and the like.
There are some very clever touches like the various illnesses that your patients can contract-such as bloated head-and they methods you use to deal with them-a machine which pops the patient's head and then blows it up to normal size.
This is a very worthwhile game to buy, especially considering it's cheap price.
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43 of 44 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars One of the best value games you'll ever buy, 29 Jun 2003
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
Don't write this off as a bad game just by the price. This is in fact one of, if not the best, game it is poosible to buy for under 5. The graphics may not be amazing, but their not eye-cringingly bad, either. In Theme Hospital there are a number of stages, at which you can play at one of three different difficulty levels. You must satisfy all the criteria (profit, not too many people dying, e.t.c.) to proceed to the next hospital. There are many weird and wonderful diseases with equally strange symptomns and cures, which add a nice touch to the game. There are several other, good perks to the game, such as being able to blast the odd rat who runs about your hospital, and managing to handle raging epidemics to avoid heavy fines. All in all, a good game, and when you take into account the price; brilliant. One word of warning, though: switch the speakers off before playing this game. The simple, beeping music may drive you to contract a disease as bad as someone at your hospital has!
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A real crowd pleaser for me, 13 Sep 2006
By 
= Fun:5.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
This was the very first sim game that I bought and I LOVE it! The creativity and the imagination in this game is brilliant. I like the animations and soundtrack, plus the gameplay is really quite addictive, recommended for anyone!
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not only the cheapest but the best game I have ever played, 14 Dec 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
I bought this game about 6 months ago. It only cost 3 in a special deal, otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered. Boy am I glad I did! When I read the back of the case in the shop I thought it would be amusing for just the first few days, but I haven't played on anything else since. Basically you have to run hospitals, there are lots of levels and the challenges get greater as you get higher. You have to hire staff, build rooms, make waiting areas and cure as many people as you can. The first few hospitals only have about 5 illnesses to treat, but as you progress there are more illnesses so you have to build more rooms and purchase more buildings. Subsequently, you have to watch the amount of money you are earning. There are also emergencies, where several people with the same disease arrive by helicopter, and epidemics, where some of the patients catch other illnesses. If you can deal with these you get large bonuses, but if people die, you reputation will go down.
The illnesses some of the patients have are hilarious - bloaty head, when your head swells to twice its normal size, - radiation, when you glow bright green and slack tongue, when your 4 ft long tongue (reminds me of Dudley in Harry Potter!) is cut off with a guillotine!
You also have operating theatres where illnesses such as Broken Heart and Spare Ribs are cured, and the pychiatrists room, where disorders such as Kings Complex (the patient turns up looking like Elvis!) and TV Personalities are cured.
To progress further you can introduce a Research Lab, where researchers find cures or improve drugs, and a Training Room, where consultants can lecture Junior Drs to help them get to a better standard, or give them the skills of surgeon, researcher or pychiatrist.
All in all, for 3, this game is great. The makers haven't forgotten anything - you can even alter the radiator temperature - and the illnesses had me giggling for ages! If there are any downsides, they would be that the music can get very annoying, and the graphics aren't brilliant, but hey, who cares. This is the best game I've ever played because it has it all - I would give it 11/10!!
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Is there a doctor in the house?, 24 Jan 2005
By 
Daniel Jolley "darkgenius" (Shelby, North Carolina USA) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
Theme Hospital, released in 1997 by Bullfrog, is a relatively simple but addictively fun game that truly stands the test of time. It puts you in complete control of a series of hospitals, working your way up from one larger institution to another. The job gets harder as you move up the ladder, as greater crises and burdens lie in wait to bring you down. It all starts fairly simple. At your first hospital, you just need to set up a general practitioner's office or two, a general diagnostics room, a pharmacy, a psychiatric office, and get your researchers working on new diseases and ways to go about combating them. You've got to hire doctors, nurses, handymen, and a receptionist - and you get a wide range of folks to choose from. Will you pay top dollar for the efficient GP's and specialists, or will you settle for abrasive, lazy types who smell of cabbage? Cure enough patients, make enough money, and establish a good enough reputation, and job offers for bigger and better assignments will come your way.
As you progress, you'll get access to an assortment of fancy diagnostic equipment and treatment clinics. For those hard-to-diagnose cases, there are X-ray rooms, cardiology exams, high-dollar scanners, and the like, and before long you're even ready to build an operating theater and put scalpels in the hands of those crazy doctors of yours. As for the diseases and conditions, they aren't your typical fare: alongside gastrointestinal-type ailments such as the squibs, you have folks with Elvis Complex (who do indeed show up in Elvis leisure suits), invisibility, Bloaty Head (just pop their head and reinflate it), Slack Tongue (chop chop), Baldness (wait'll you see how to cure that), and an assortment of silly afflictions. Of course, you have your basic fractures and uncommon cold cases, as well. Each condition is more funny than serious (especially in terms of how it is contracted), but keeping your hospital up and working efficiently gets to be pretty serious when you've got patients queued up in the aisles, tired doctors recuperating in the staff lounge, diagnostic machines temporarily down for repair, emergencies bringing in a number of new patients who must be cured quickly if your reputation isn't to suffer, earthquakes shaking things up, and epidemics popping up and wreaking havoc. Patients can be pretty messy, as many of them tend to throw up all over the place. If you don't have enough dependable handymen around to clean up the mess, the Ministry of Health will be all over you.
The graphics look surprisingly good even today - although 1997 graphics certainly don't compare to those of recent games. There is a decent variety of looks among patients, and it's almost worth killing a few of them just to watch them ascend to heaven (or, on occasion, drop through the floor on their way to an alternate destination). The game is simple enough for anyone to play and enjoy, although things get pretty challenging as you progress deeper into the game. A lot of games today sacrifice fancy graphics for actual gameplay, but Theme Hospital is the kind of game you enjoy playing years and years after its release.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Simply brilliant, 20 Feb 2005
By A Customer
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
The best game in the world. Although I must admit, the graphics leave a lot to be desired, one must remember that this game came out in 1997! I have been playing the game since then, firstly on a slow 1995 machine, then building up on to my current XP laptop. And the game works on all! You do come across a few glitches in the game, but as long as you save often, you should be fine!
This game offers gamers all you could possibly want, fun, excitement, and funny graphics when you accidentally (on-purpose) kill your patients. If you have any doubts about the game, be reassured by what everyone has to say about it, and also how cheap it can be picked up for!
Well, there's nothing more to say, so go buy it now!
PS. It's a complete mystery why there was never a sequel!!!
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Total Classic!, 15 Jan 2006
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
One of the best computer games ever - guaranteed to keep you addicted. The graphics are simple but suit the style of the game (and also means that there is absolutely NO loading time in the game - you never have to wait!) and the tunes that play sound like they came straight off a cheesy American 80s hospital TV show. You can never get bored, as each level gets harder and has more diseases and more equipment to cure patients. The receptionist makes hilarious spoof announcements over the loudspeaker every so often, and the diseases the patients get will crack you up too!
This game just goes to show that the best games don't need flashy graphics or complicated missions to make them fun - trust me, if you play Theme Hospital it will quickly become your favourite game ever!
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Simple, challenging, legendary , and above all SUPERB FUN!!!, 28 May 2006
= Fun:5.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
Theme hospital is the ultimate short term replacement game . When you get fed up with your rts, fps or action games pick up theme hospital, the games main theme...hopsital , simple eh? People say that the game is ageing and that it is past it...How wrong they are.Yes its coming up on 10-11 years old but after all these years I always return to it when i have compleated my star wars games, my total war games etc etc . A must buy for any gamer, harmless and humerous fun.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars I Want To Be A Hospital Manager!, 25 Feb 2005
By 
H. Kirton (London, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) (Video Game)
This game, in which your aim is to crete an uber hospital, is highly addictive. It is not simply one of those games that you get, play for a couple of months and then shove in the back of your games closet never the reappear again.
The game is very challenging- perhaps in some places a little bit too challenging. You'll be addicted trying to reach your goals and progress to the next level.
The graphics aren't up to much and, with no ability to turn the display around, it does make objects diffcult to place. That can take a lot of getting used to after coming off of modern games which allow you to look at your playing field from angles you didn't even know exsisted.
Due to its age, Theme Hospital is now a budget buy which makes it a great purchase for just about anybody.
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Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM)
Theme Hospital (PC CD-ROM) by Sold Out Software (Windows 95 / 98 / Me / XP)
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