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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on 13 April 2005
This book and many others by the same author have radically changed my viewpoint of relationships and just what a key part God plays in the unravelling of them. Even for those who are not christians, I feel this book reveals a valuable truth that in today's 'me me me' world is hard to find - God is and has to be the centre of our hearts before we can think about offering our hearts to another human being in long term commitment. I thoroughly recommend this book - it has hardly sat on my shelf since i bought it. First myself and now my friends are reading it - filled with practical and godly advice on relationships- for anyone contemplating the beauty of romance, it is a must.
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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
on 20 July 2008
As a single girl in her 20s I was heartened to find a book about waiting for love instead of another book on 'How To Date The Right Way.' Although I knew I was doing the right thing in waiting, I had some misgivings about it and I was confused about certain things. I purchased a copy of 'When God Writes Your Love Story' hoping that the authors would set my mind at rest, so I probably had unrealistic expectations. I started reading it expecting Eric and Leslie to share an amazing account of how they got together, and I was slightly disappointed in the end, because I didn't think their story was all that incredible, it was just a story of 2 friends who fell in love without the angst a lot of people experience. But that is a minor detail.
Many people have praised this book, but I have a few criticisms, first of all, (and this is minor) the over-use of several phrases such as 'the beautiful side of love' (the Ludys don't actually define or describe what the 'beautiful side of love' really is,) and 'precious pearl of purity' and 'princess of purity'. Sometimes the language used by the authors is in danger of slipping into cliches: 'Just as a lover desires to show his adoration to his bride by tenderly presenting her with a delicate and fragrant rose...' etc.

On a more serious note however, not every Christian will agree with what the Ludys are saying. Matthew Paul Turner argues in 'How To Ruin Your Dating Life' that 'God doesn't usually play matchmaker...Feel more than free to ask God for wisdom in helping you discover what might be his plan for your life, but if you sit back and just wait for God to magically give you a spouse, it's not likely going to happen.' In the face of such pragmatism, perhaps the Ludys case for 'letting God write your love story' falters slightly. It would be great if God dropped someone into our laps once we decided to wait, but the truth is, no-one can guarantee that they'll get married some day. Not because God has 'called' them to be single, not because they still have to 'mature spiritually' or because they have lots to learn, but simply because the right person never came along. I think Christian authors on this kind of subject are afraid of admitting that, and Leslie's statement 'In truth, most of us will be married in our lifetime' is rather disingenious. She backs her statement up by writing that even if we don't get married on earth, we will in heaven when 'Christ our true bridegroom appears in all His glory' but I feel this is insensitive, and will not bring any comfort to someone who longs for marriage and children of their own. Unfortunately, this answer is typical of the kind of books aimed at Christian singles written by people who think they understand, but really don't. I'm sure Leslie and Eric mean well, and I can see that they try to be kind, but unfortunately, their attempts fail to be convincing.

In the chapter entitled 'Can The Sweeter Song Be A Solo?' Leslie writes about purposeful singleness and lists all the reasons why being single can be a good thing. She cites her 31 year old sister-in-law Krissy as 'the best example of purposeful singleness', even raving that she is 'radiant in her singleness...She is joyful, fun-loving and excited about living.' I am not quite sure why, but authors writing about singleness tend to give 2 examples of the Christian single: the first like Krissy, is described as incredibly godly, even angelic, in their day to day life. In short, they are perfect. Although they would make an excellent spouse, they are totally satisfied with being single. They trek through uninhabitable terrains preaching the gospel. They sit under mudhuts singing songs to children in the pouring rain, and they do it all with a smile on their face. They are never sad, never lonely and they rarely sigh over their single status because life is so fulfilling as it is. The second example is described as miserable, even depressed, someone who sits around and mopes because they feel their real life can't begin until they're married. Personally, I don't know any single Christians who fit into either of the categories illustrated above. I feel both examples which Leslie writes about are stereotypes of 'the Christian single' and she doesn't do single people any favours by writing about, and therefore perpetuating those stereotypes. I also can't help wondering why singles are constantly given the message that they must try to justify their singleness by attempting to 'better themselves' or learn how to be more worthy, as if God would reward them with a spouse if they got their act together and became more 'perfect'. After I'd read this chapter, I felt a bit upset, because I knew that I would never be as good as the 'radiant' Krissy, and if she can't get married by 31, what hope do I have? I wish books on singleness and relationships would talk about Christian singles in a way that makes it easy to empathise with them and their journey, not in such a voice as to alienate readers and induce guilt because they wish they weren't still single.

'When God Writes Your Love Story' talks a great deal about purity, and argues that it goes beyond the physical. Leslie writes 'How could I offer my whole heart to my husband someday if it was nothing but a used, battered, and broken mess?' She urges readers to guard their heart against casual relationships which so often result in pain. What she says is true for so many people - how often we fall for someone only for it to end in heartbreak. Again, she gives a college student called Ann as an extreme example of what guarding your heart might mean - saving yourself for marriage (no dating or kissing) until your future husband comes along. ('Until God brings my future husband along and I know it's him, I'm not available'.) But this is not an easy thing to do. Unless your future spouse comes with a label attached, how will you know? The Ludys aren't claiming to give readers a magic formula for meeting the one - or at least, so they say. But the message which comes across each time is clear: '...the kind of standard we all should strive for...' 'This is God's design for you! This is the 'sweeter song'! And it's something we can begin to work toward right now!' Although they say that their book is not about rules or 'relationship how-to's', I think they very much desire the reader to see the error of their ways and to follow their example. However, it may not be to everyone's taste. Waiting may be what you need to do. But waiting is confusing, painful and lonely, and I don't think this book really addresses how hard it can be sometimes. Nor does it begin to approach the emotional minefield of angst single people so often face: falling for someone who doesn't appear to notice you, being 'droppped' by a friend you've had for years as soon as she catches sight of great guy, guy/girl friendships and so on. People who wait don't sit on the fence and have it easy. Dating can be complicated but believe me, waiting for the right person to come along can be too.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on 24 December 2009
This book, to me, is something that will always remain in the forefront of the "new me". The "me" who I've always wanted to be. This book came at a time in my life where I was looking for answers. I started finding answers in other events, books, encounters, etc. But this book was the one that pushed me to change for the better, for the person I know God wants me to be, and truthfully, the person I've always wanted to be but wanted so much to fit in with the rest of the world that I couldn't change until I found that through this book, there are truly others who believe in the same things I do. And that's always heartwarming.

This book reminded me of how much I'm worth, and I find it so sad that so many girls out there are so desperate to get any guy with any means possible because they think that their identity is found in the person they are when they're in a relationship (as though the fact that they have a boyfriend means that they're wanted). And so many girls blame guys when they get treated like pieces of meat when a lot of the times, they're letting themselves be treated that way. This book didn't make me see that, it only made me realise that I wasn't the only one who knows that each of us is worth the world and more and should be treated with the respect that we should also bestow on others. Perhaps I've always been an idealistic person, and maybe this book isn't suitable for those who prefer to live life "pragmatically" - but I think it's quite pragmatic to go through life knowing how much one is worth without feeling like losing out to the rest of the rest of the world, and I think it's sensible as well. This book can help you save yourself, as it did for me.

One important thing about this book is the fact that it does NOT ONLY connect to the relationship side of life, but also on every other levels of our sense of identity and worth. It's not a "stop dating, sex is bad for you before marriage, and that's it" type of book... it goes deeper than that. It's realising who we are, what we're capable of, what we deserve, what we're worth, what can happen when we truly believe. Why can't we believe that we can be the miracle in someone else's life? Why do we need to ignore the true fairy tales that so rarely happen in this world just to save ourselves from broken hearts, when in fact we'll get hurt by turning away from holding onto the faith that God knows what's best for us? What do you have to lose in believing?

My favourite quote from the many mentioned in this book: "He is not a fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose."
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12 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on 4 December 2001
This book has totally made a 360 degree turn in my life. If you are looking for a beautiful, undiluted romance, you must read this book.
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on 30 June 2015
This is a book that could change your life. If you're looking for something more in relationships, I really recommend it.
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on 10 January 2015
good second hand.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 14 May 2013
I read this and then leant it to all my friends. It gives a well balanced way to look at relationships and although a bit American in places over all it both encouraged and challenged me which is never bad.
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Customers who viewed this item also viewed
When God Writes Your Love Story (Extended Edition)
When God Writes Your Love Story (Extended Edition) by Ludy Eric (Paperback - 1 July 2009)


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