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4.8 out of 5 stars37
4.8 out of 5 stars
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on 2 October 2013
I found this a very practical and supportive guide to raising children who have suffered neglect and broken attachments. It helps us to get into the mind of the child and to connect with them emotionally. Dr Elliott clearly explains why traditional reward/consequence strategies don't often work and the reasons why. She also provides effective alternative strategies.

I have read lots of books on attachment and early trauma and I found this a really useful addition as it covers many different behaviours. I highly recommend it to anyone who is parenting or considering parenting adopted or fostered children.
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on 24 March 2014
I've read several books on empathic parenting, but this has been my favourite to date. It's very simply explained and the author really explains well why children develop certain types of behaviour. She also offers great strategies for dealing with the behaviours likely to be encountered, such as lying, angry outbursts, difficult sibling relationships and sexualised behaviour. I recommend this book to anyone who cares for children who've suffered trauma early in their life. It has given me real insight and confidence.
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on 2 May 2014
explains simply why children who have experienced neglect, trauma and other abuse do not respond to behaviour management techniques that we expect them to. It provides practical ideas and methods to try. It is a book to keep on the shelf and return to when you are struggling with your adopted/fostered child lying, being aggressive, struggling to make friends, stealing etc
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on 9 October 2014
Very useful advice based on research which is not widely known about. How traditional parenting approaches e.g "time out" or "confiscation" do not work with adopted children. Gave me a new powerful perspective on my adopted child's behaviour. Probably saved our relationship!
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on 25 September 2013
Great book. It is helping me understand what it is like to be my child. Would recommend this book to all who care for traumatised children.
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on 20 March 2014
This is great book for foster carers or adoptive parents who are caring for traumatised children. If offers an alternative approach to reward/punishment strategies and helps a carer understand why alternative approaches which require a deeper understanding of the behaviour are more appropriate.
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on 30 November 2013
A thoroughly insightful and helpful book which deals with the subtleties of a vulnerable childs thinking and coping strategies.
I would not hesitate to recommend this book to anyone dealing with traumatised children.
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on 31 August 2015
I must have for all foster carers or adoptive parents!! I am only part way through this book but already glad I bought it. Children who have been neglected can not be parented the same way as children born into a loving family. You have to start from the beginning. Attaching and enabling them to attach and learn how to calm themselves. Star charts, time out etc I found did not work but have looked for help in what does work. This is a welcome book. I am hoping to learn a lot and dip in and out of it. Buy it you won't be disappointed.
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on 6 March 2014
I found this book to be very informative, extremely useful and with many difficult areas covered in a down to earth manner. This book has helped me so much to be a more understanding and effective foster carer.
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on 17 November 2013
This book makes sense, is easy to read and challenges cognitive behavioural techniques of parenting that just don't work with children that have been through trauma.
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