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4.5 out of 5 stars202
4.5 out of 5 stars
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on 7 August 2008
This book is based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which basically sets out to help you become aware of where you are thinking unrealistically (or just plain wrongly), and to replace these thoughts with helpful and more realistic ones.

I was really scared for a fair while that this book wouldn't help me, but actually it has, and loads. By about half-way through, I was daring to believe people actually loved me, I was approaching groups of people and joining in with the conversation, and being open about who I am - and starting to enjoy doing so, and not assuming everyone disliked me.

However, you need to know that this book is sometimes difficult to read, and to change will be hard. This is not a book that you "read". This is a book where you read a section, then you have to do the exercise - sometimes daily, for a couple of weeks - more like a "workbook". If you read this book cover-to-cover, it will have little discernable effect on your life. However, if you put the time in, you will notice real changes fairly soon.

I have to confess by being really confused and a little upset for some of the people who gave this very negative reviews - it doesn't advocate simplistically thinking "positively" in the face of all the evidence. To the contrary, it helps you set up experiements to discover what the truth actually is, and what you can do about it, and helps you examine the evidence from your experiments in a more rational way.

Finally, you can only do this if you *want* to change - yes, this book is aobut changing quite fundamental thoughts you may have about yourself, which you may have clung to for years like a safety blanket and not want to believe actually aren't true. And it will be hard! However, for me it's been really worthwhile. Good luck!!
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on 12 December 2008
I bought this book at the aiport whilst making a business trip that I was absolutely dreading, essentially because my self-esteem was so low. This book did change my life, or rather it enabled me to change my life for myself. It is essentially about taking control of your own life and your own thoughts and feelings, and facing situations you have previously avoided.

It is incredibly well-written, and though it is clearly structured and designed to be worked through one chapter at a time, you can still open it at any page and discover some excellent advice. What I love about the book is the friendly, comforting tone in which it is written. The author is full of compassion, and this is important as you learn to have compassion for yourself (instead of putting yourself down), to understand why you may have developed certain unhelpful thought patterns, and to begin to undo all this.

Though it is a cliche, I can honestly say this book changed my life. I wore my copy out and bought a second one. I love books, and have hundreds, but if I had to get rid of them all and keep only one, it would have to be this one.
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on 6 June 2001
This book has a very practical emphasis and is written in layman's terms with a definition of what self esteem is, followed by examples of how this is established in early life with a series of step by step exercises to correct negative thought patterns. I recommend this book for the clarity of language used and lack of jargon which enables the reader to be their own therapist and recognise whether the book will be enough or if further help is needed.
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on 11 May 2004
I have dozens of self help books, and can honestly say that this has been the most useful of them all. I now understand what causes low self esteem and how to resolve it.
This book has helped me to make profound changes in my life. Although I am not completely "cured" of low self esteem, it is continually growing and every day is a small victory for me.
I trully believe that this book will be helpful to almost everyone.
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on 25 June 2010
Out of all the self-help books I have bought this is the best. I wanted to stop thinking badly of myself and change the opinions of myself. Not only does this book help to re-think positive things about ourselves, but it has targets and set goals to accomplish to make sure our new way of thinking is working.
I normally lend out my books, this one isn't leaving my side. Thanks alot.
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on 16 February 2001
As a General Practitioner, I have found this book to be extraordinarily helpful; it is in our patient library and I regularly recommend it to patients.
The style is easy to read and the approach very good for self help. Changing your beliefs and views about self can be very difficult, but this book enables you to break the process down into manageable parts, and facilitates a stepwise progression to greater self esteem and a more positive mental attitude and health. Highly recommended
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on 10 April 2005
I have read many self help books over the years and this one is the best by far. It explains how self esteem issues are born from past negative experiences and shows you how to overcome this.
I urge anyone suffering from low self esteem to buy this book it really does help
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on 9 May 2008
I have really enjoyed reading this book. Having suffered with several anxiety disorders over the years I decided to look at the cause rather than the symptoms. I have read many self help books but this is the only one that has had a significant effect. I think maybe some readers have missed the point of the book, it is really about accepting yourself, flaws and all, but also trying to focus on the positive rather than negative, obviously this isn't an easy task but this book sets you on the right track. Personally to me self esteem is all about acceptance, it's not about doing things perfectly, or looking a certain way, or even relying on other people to boost it - that's why I'm a bit confused over some of the other reviews. There are lots of different tasks to follow to help you understand your thinking patterns etc., and the author does explain at length the reason for undertaking each one. All in all I would say this is a really useful book if you suffer with self esteem issues. My only complaint would be that although she gives us several examples of people with low self esteem at the beginning, she does seem to focus on the same person throughout the majority of the book. It would have been nice to see different examples throughout.
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on 9 August 2009
This book is a very useful self help book. It not only allows you to recognise reasons for low self esteem but gives you guidance to find positive ways to combat it. The Author advises a quick read through and then a slower work through, I agree with this and found that it was good to have a basic idea of what was coming and then take time to work on issues that I felt would be useful. It is the sort of book that you can use on your own or with support. I have recommended this book to friends.
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on 4 November 2006
I found this book to be very helpful as it deals with the cause of low self esteem as well as the elements that keep it going. Obviously it will take time but knowing is half the battle and I would recommend it to anyone suffering with low self esteem or anyone interested in learning more about this issue.
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