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255 Reviews
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308 of 311 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars True to it's Title
I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. There is much good advice on how to recognize and change ineffective paterns of responding to your child. The suggested...
Published on 6 Jan 2002 by Derrick

versus
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars helpful but unrealistic
I found this book helpful to a certain extent although each point was somewhat laboured and can be grasped by reading just a little of each chapter rather than trudging through all the examples set. It's american which I found uncomfortable reading as their expressions used are so vastly different from language that we'd use to talk to our children in the UK. Although I...
Published on 10 Mar 2011 by Holly


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308 of 311 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars True to it's Title, 6 Jan 2002
By 
Derrick (Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews
I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. There is much good advice on how to recognize and change ineffective paterns of responding to your child. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book strictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read, I've heard nothing but positive feedback from other parents who have read this book.
I would also highly recommend the books "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey and "Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsibe Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries" by Robert J MacKenzie.
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310 of 322 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my life literally overnight, 24 April 2007
A friend mentioned this book years before I had children of my own. When our first son was born my husband bought it, and then we forgot about it for a few years. Now my sons are 2 3/4 and 1 1/2, and I was having a really hard time.. the usual tantrums, food issues, fighting between the two... my older one was being sent to the naughty corner several times a day sometimes, I was shouting all day, and I felt absolutely miserable. Thought I was the worst mother in the world. Then I remembered the book, and aaaaah... never thought it possible that one book could hold "the truth". And it's such simple things you need to change, it's amazing. My son hasn't been to the naughty corner since I started reading the first chapter, we are a very happy, relaxed and calm family now, and my husband is still completely amazed that every evening I tell him "We had a good day" rather than finding me in tears. If you ever felt overwhelmed and powerless as a parent, and if you ever thought you were doing everything wrong ... READ THIS BOOK.
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406 of 422 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy it!, 19 May 2003
By 
Sharon Otoo (Brighton, East Sussex United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
I am writing because the last review posted here was written August 2002 and I didn't want people browsing to get the impression that the book was no longer relevant or something. So you are in no doubt: you deal with children? you are losing your sanity? this book needs to be in YOUR home.
The central message is simple: respect children's feelings and they will respect yours. As you are looking for a parenting book, you probably think 'I DO respect their feelings, but the little brat still drives me crazy...' but actually this book shows that most of us continuously disrespect our children, and actually encourage them to behave the way they do. Free yourself from tyranny! Buy this book! Understand it, laugh with it, talk about it, try out the exercises.
A previous reviewer has criticised this book for not being easy-to-reference in a hurry. In the authors' defence: the book does encourage parents to make notes along the way and copy out the main points to remember for easy reference. Although you may think that takes time (of which you probably have little) it is actually a more effective way of learning, and let's face it, when you are in the midst of a parenting crisis, do you really want to turn around and start flicking through a book? If the message of the book really makes sense to you, then you'll be able to come up with a solution on the spur of the moment. This book encourages parents to be resourceful, self-sufficient, flexible and responsive to the immediate situation.

Indeed, I am so impressed with this book and the changes it has made in my relationship with my children that I have written this review. Now that's saying something!
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360 of 375 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars changed parent, 2 Sep 2006
By 
K. Mannock (uk) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
As an impatient mother of a challenging three year old I'd given up on books (and there were lots of them) and advice (and there was lots of it). A good friend of mine slipped me this book and I gave it a passing glance. I tried the first technique out with not much hope, and was immediately rewarded with a co-operation That was a week ago. I have since read it from cover to cover, given it back to my friend with a massive thank you, bought it myself and intend to read it again. It has made an immediate improvement to my relationship not only with my son but with my partner, my parents, my siblings and people in general. I've gone from frustrated, irritated, tired orgress to confident, loving mother. I actually enjoying talking to my son and he enjoys talking to me. I'd recommend this book to anyone who deals with children.
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116 of 121 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that changed the way I treat and talk to my child, 2 May 2003
By 
I bought this book because I needed inspiration. I have a nearly 3 year old and, following the birth of my second son, our relationship was failing. This is an EXCELLENT book for parents who have reached the end of theit tether. I am only 2/3rds of my way though the book and already used several of the techniques suggested and found the results amazing!! It covers topics such as how the listen, talk to and praise our children but in a way I have never really understood before. As well as the text, there are cartoons to clearly show what is meant, exercises and real life stories from parents. The book clearly shows the subtle differences between punishment and consequence, good and bad praise, good and bad listening etc, etc.
When I first started reading this, I thought that it would be more suitable when my children are older (say 5+) but the techniques have really started to work for my 3 year old (the other is only 7 months) and I am so thankful I have bought it to use now. Buy it today.
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29 of 30 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Alternatives to Yelling, Nagging, Threatening, & Punishing, 15 Aug 2002
By 
As a preschool teacher and parent, I found this book to be the major influence in forming my communication style with children. In fact, this book has given me the skills to communicate more effectively with everyone... my friends, my husband, my boss, and even my mother-in-law! When I changed my approach in how I spoke to them, they often changed their behavior. The logical, respectful strategies really work! My only criticism is that the format of the chapters does not always fascilitate quick referral. For example, when I recently wanted to quickly look up a whining, or biting, or mealtime strategy for three of my preschoolers, I became frustrated and confused as to where in the book I had seen the information. These topics were not listed in the index and I began to flip through the pages trying to find the stories and suggestions that I thought I remembered seeing somewhere. Therefore, I would also like to recommend another wonderful new book with the very same philosophy that is organized differently...for quick use on the spot for very busy parents. THE POCKET PARENT is literally a pocket-sized A-Z guide exclusively written for parents and teacher of preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's). It is loaded with hundreds of easy to find quick-read bullet answers (called "sanity savers") to 40 common behavior problems of 2- to 5-year-olds. I recommend these two books for every mom and dad with a 2- to 5-year-old. Both books are permissive with feelings, but strict with behavior while preserving the dignity of both parent and child. Both books are full of humor and compassion from authors that have "been there," too. For help on the spot as well as long term understanding ...keep both books handy!
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!!, 2 Nov 2000
I have a 4 yr old and a 7mth old baby. The book has helped me lessen the conflicts with my eldest daughter. Sometimes when I put an excerise into practice and get an immediate positive response I just feel like kissing the book! It is a book that has to be read from time to time to refresh your memory and attitude towards your children.
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68 of 71 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sanity saver, 22 July 2004
By 
In desperation as a single parent father I bought this book and the other (F&M) one about sibling rivalry. What a revelation they are. By acknowledging children's feelings and allowing them to talk, most of the conflict has gone. By describing rather than bossing around co-operation has increased. It has not been easy and I still have a long way to go but things are a lot more relaxed. By removing the "competing and comparing with each other" part of the sibling relationship much of the brother and sister conflict and fighting has gone. I also found the idea of family meetings really helpful. By getting the children to contribute to the solution there is definitely more co-operation.
I have no hesitation in recommending it. In fact it probably needs to be compulsory for all parents. Also check out their website [...]
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103 of 108 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars True to its title, 9 Sep 2001
By 
Derrick (Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews
I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book stictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read.
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63 of 66 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best parenting book ever, 14 April 2007
By 
E. Foley (Cork, Ireland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
You know one of those books that makes you want to buy twenty of them and give them to people you know, as well as random strangers? Well, this is one of these. Excellent, practical and balenced advice for kids of 4+, urging parents to teach their children responsibility, get theem to do stuff without nagging and most of all share their true selves with their children. Please read it, it will change your life.
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