45 of 45 people found the following review helpful
on 12 February 2007
I have spent the last 8 months hurt, betrayed and taken for granted by my 16 year old son. From a happy-go-lucky boy, he turned into a monster! I was so desperate to understand why, that I decided to find out if there was book which explained it all. "Get Out of My Life" was the answer! I related to each page, highlighted all the points which I associated with and put little yellow tabs to take me to sections which I might encounter again! I have also recommended it to all my friends who have teenagers. This book is a MUST READ, especially if you have a teenage son. I've now learnt how to back off, be firm but know when to button it! Thank you so much Anthony Wolf and Suzanne Franks for recognising that we need the help.
94 of 96 people found the following review helpful
on 7 April 2002
This book is brilliant. As the mother of a teenager I was able to relate to every page in this book. It was spot-on! It gives good advice and explains why teenagers act the way they do. After reading this book I realised that my son is very, very normal whereas before I was sometimes seriously wondering where I had gone wrong!
If you have a teenager I would strongly suggest you read this book. I have read quite a few books on adolescence but in my opinion this one is by far superior to any other of its type.
Thank you Tony Wolf and Suzanne Franks for creating such an amazing insight into the adolescent way of thinking and how we as parents can best handle this.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
on 30 September 2011
I bought lots of books to help me with my teenager. I read this one last because I thought the title made the content likely to be rubbish. I couldn't have been more wrong. IT IS THE BEST BOOK ON TEENAGERS by a country mile.
It tells you how teenagers are, then how to deal with them. And most importantly, that you are not alone.
This was the only book, I found, that tells you what to say back, when to say it and when to walk away.
In the end I came to realise that the title was perfect. I keep this book on my bedside table and dip into it when my teenager is driving me nuts. Absolutely invaluable. I buy it for my friends too!
50 of 52 people found the following review helpful
on 27 February 2004
I couldn't remember why I acted inconsiderately and irrationally as a teenager, so I didn't understand why my teenager was acting like this! I spent sleepless nights feeling really hurt and angry because of her words and actions before I read this book. It has put my mind to rest on a lot of teenage behavioural issues. You might not be able to change your teenager's behaviour after reading this book, but at least you'll be able to deal with it in your head and you won't feel so frustrated anymore. Well worth a read I think, even if you haven't got children it helps you realize why the teenagers of today are they way they are.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
on 1 January 2014
Having just had an very stressful start to the New Year, which could easily have been described as World War 3, I have desperately been searching the internet for any help or advice when dealing with teenagers, my eldest son currently 13 years of age, will be 14 in a couple of months seems to be to have what can only be described as a jackal and hyde personality most of the time and it's dame right scary, he used to be such a joker when he was younger always happy, singing, chatty then as if overnight replaced by someone who sometimes I wonder if I really know at all. He is also quite big for his age and currently towers above both myself and his Father which can be daunting. We know he will never hurt us it's just not in his nature but when your trying to reason with him and he's looking down at you, you really don't feel as if he's taking you seriously. So after reading all the reviews I am hoping that this book will open my eyes to his world and what he is going through, although you hear people say that you are not alone in dealing with this, sometimes it feels exactly that, stressed out in a situation which no matter what you say is wrong and you just can't see what started it, or if it is ever going to come to an end. So ever hopeful that this book with help me understand him a lot more and fingers crossed a way to make all our lives just a little easier. Having now finished the book it has given me (his dad) an insight into the way adolescent boys see the world. We have had arguments about girls, friends, curfews, who, what,when, why. We have had tears, from all parties, he has self harmed on his arms and legs because of how he has felt and what his peers have said to him or the way they have acted towards him. We believe that we are turning a corner with our son, we just have to remember to give him the love and support he needs. Good luck all fellow parents of Teenagers, I feel your pain and we can do this!!! :-)
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on 6 April 2013
I bought this book at the same time as 'I'd listen to my parents if they'd just shut up', as I was desperate. This book made me feel better just by reading it! As with the other book, when I first read it, it made me laugh and it made me cry. I could hear my teenage son's voice saying all the same phrases in my head. I found out where I was going wrong and, most importantly, what I was doing right. Both books tackle up-to-date issues such as the internet, mobile phones, social networking sites and how to cope. It gives hints and tips to make life with your teenager better and, although there are probably too many tips to implement at once, once you start doing it and your teen stops in his tracks mid-rant, you start to feel more in control. If you have specific issues, the book index makes it easy to find the situation you are having a problem with so you can dip into it and read up on it. Sometimes, just de-camping to my room to read the chapter on the latest crisis was enough to defuse a bad situation. As I continued to read more of the book, I realised that we were both normal, this was all normal behaviour. It isn't enough to say things like 'I would never have behaved like that to my parents', because we live in a different world. I realise that my parents ruled by fear and we don't do that any more, so we have to find other strategies to get the behaviour we want from our kids and this book helped me do that. My son's behaviour had been a shock to me, as my daughter (3 years older) had never been as bad as my son now is. We had had our arguments, but nothing like the terrible, bitter rages that I get from my son. I have been really desperate and I really did not want the Police involved -again- (it was that bad). All too often, especially as a single parent with no extended family, it was easy to think that it was all my fault because I was a terrible mother. It made me realise why my son says what he does and why he behaves in that manner. I have hidden the books from him, as I don't think he would appreciate me getting the back-up/knowledge and the psychological tools to beat him at his own game! To sum it up, this book has given me hope......that one day I'll realise that my son has emptied the dishwasher without me asking and then made me a cup of coffee....and all with a smile!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on 4 September 2010
This book helped me enormously with my troubled 14 year old daughter. It gave me the insight to understand what she was going through, and how I could react differently and more calmly and help her to defuse the inevitable crises that she faces from time to time. I am now on excellent terms with my daughter who has emerged from a dark and lonely place knowing she is loved, valued and, to an extent, understood.
It is also well written and readable. Not something you can say for every self help book.
Highly recommended. I bought 2 more copies to give to friends and they also found it to be brilliant.
23 of 25 people found the following review helpful
on 17 April 2011
If your children are not yet teenagers, buy this and read it now. I thought I knew it all. Wrong! My teenage son left to live with my ex husband and I have not seen him for 16 months. I wonder now whether the support this book offers to parents of teenagers could have prevented such a tragedy in my life. It offers a true insight into the psyche of teenagers alerting unsuspecting parents of how difficult life is going to be. This book really does tell it like it is with absolutely spot on examples of the tussles and strife that typify the teenager-parent relationship. It explains why teenagers act the way they do especially for me as a mother, it describes the different ways in which boys and girls relate (or not) to each parent. It explains that the mother-son relationship that you had for the first 12 or 13 years of parenthood will change probably for the worse. It explains the separation processes that mark the end of the baby era when your child really needed you and now they don't. I did not fully appreciate how much the relationship would change until it was too late. As you read the scenarios in the book it makes you realise how our selfish, egocentric, lying teenagers are actually just trying to deal with growing up only it doesn't feel like that when you are in the thick of it. It points out the pitfalls and suggests a few practical approaches to help reduce the escalation of warfare. Written in a clear and easy style, I would recommend it to anyone who is cavalier enough to think they can handle a stroppy teenager. Read it. It could save your sanity.
34 of 37 people found the following review helpful
on 20 December 2002
Whilst this book does not offer any solutions, or even advice, it is invaluable for the sense of recognition and reassurance which it brings about when dealing with prickly, angry, confused adolescents. I understand now what is happening to my daughter, which is a great relief, and which will equip me to deal with her rages with a degree of insight, sympathy, and compassion, the latter of which which I admit I found it hard to muster prior to reading this book.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on 12 November 2011
Really useful book. No prescriptions just helpful insights into the teenage mind. Above all a real confidence booster for parents and a reminder that it's not ALL YOUR FAULT! If you're more interested in the 'why' and 'what's going on' than the 'what to do' (not much, as it turns out, just be supportive and wait for them to grow out of it) then this is a great little book. I found the chapters on Communication and Trust, Controlling Your Teenager and Conflict particularly illuminating, but the section on the outside world (school, electronics, sex, drugs, etc) is also thought-provoking and informative, with some realistic scenarios. I also looked at "Divas and Doorslammers" but this is much more useful.