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4.3 out of 5 stars15
4.3 out of 5 stars
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on 15 April 2009
I found this such an inspiring and stimulating read, Jane Haynes captures the very essence of what therapy is and does so very poetically. Haynes takes a brave and bold step in offering the reader a detailed account of her own process through therapy. She writes about her own history with insight and understanding, and truly embodies the meaning of what it is to be a `wounded healer'. She writes beautifully and elegantly about this process without being evangelical about a particular style of therapy. This book is not just another therapy book, but offers the reader inspiration and will have you writing your own journal, going off to find a therapist or going to therapy with new inspiration about what it is to be in therapy.

The author has a unique ability to write about her clients with compassion, tenderness and transparency. She clearly has a high regard for the boundaries of therapy, but balances this with her openness and willingness to be human. Essentially she is a very ordinary yet extraordinary therapist. You get the real sense of a real person who has struggled with life and is prepared to utilise her own struggle in the service of others. This book is a classic and will be the inspiration for many clients and therapists to come.

This book offers a robust alterative to the one size fits all model that is currently been pushed by the NHS. I would not only recommend this book to trainee and practicing psychotherapist but also recommend this to anyone with an interest in psychotherapy and indeed any one who is in receipt of psychotherapy As a practicing psychotherapist with some 15 years experience it has inspired me to read more to work differently and most of all to write about the work I do.
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on 5 April 2009
" This book is a must read for anyone interested in the theraputic process. As Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society implored his pupils to stand on their desks and look at the usual differently, so Jayne Haynes gets you to re-apraise your own view of the consulting room and the person you share your inner world with. It was a privilege to be invited to sit the other side of the consulting room and to learn about one special therapist who was able to expose so much of herself in the way that we as patients normally do. The frank and honest account of her years in analysis as she dealt with her own issues was very moving. It was a wake up call to me to not see therapists as perfect vessels of quiet wisdom, but as flawed human beings like the rest of us who through their own journey have learned how to help. This makes them so much better. In showing her vulnerabilities and own life story she has done a great service for all therapists.
It also made her observations on her own patients so much more profound.
From a personal point of view I found a great resonance with her life events and experiences; but I was particulary moved by her recollections. Again, perception is that therapists talk! And of course they do. But this one can really write. Beautifully and with a literary skill that demands the reader read slowly. Not to better the understanding but to enjoy the language and the references. You know you are in the presence of someone special and whose words are worth heeding.
It is also a book that i know I will come back to again and again as each account of her patients hold clues to a lot of my workings.
I got the book on a special day when I started life anew. I could not think of a better gift."
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on 4 April 2009
After seeing a recent Guardian review of this book, I found myself reading it immediately from cover to cover. You would be forgiven for thinking that you were immersed in a rich work of fiction, as the author paints the factual events of her life, and those of some of her patients, in such beautifully descriptive terms. Respectful of patients and the profession, informative, human, and wonderfully thought provoking.
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on 4 April 2009
Jane Haynes offers a rare and incredibly valuable opportunity for readers to get a sense of what psychotherapy is like from both a therapist and client perspective. By doing so she reminds us that, despite all the misinformation and mythology surrounding it, therapy can be a very affirming and loving human encounter in which two people stand to be deeply touched by being open and honest in the presence of another. The book is poignant, perceptive, witty and wise and is a worthy addition to the canon of classic psychotherapeutic case studies that includes Laing, Yalom and Spinelli.
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on 18 June 2009
This book has had a profound affect over me and is now winging its way around the world to my family. What a relief to meet an analyst who writes with such honesty and transparency. I have, as a practising therapist, become increasingly sure that the cowardly hiding behind the accepted idea that a mask has to be present between the client/patient and therapist can feel so rejecting to people who want a therapist skilled in what is appropriate to share and what is not. I have found the inclusion of the author's personal history has moved me in a way that many books of this nature have not. This is one of the most generous books that I have encountered.
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on 6 February 2010
This is a book that makes me imagine making the decision to go into therapy. The author begins with herself instead of the usual way in which therapy books like to pathologize the patient, she unmasks herself. Most people even when they present a confident face to the world and are successful live in fear that their life and particularly any success in it is due to luck, and they actually live with the fear that their success is only a scam. This book attempts and mainly succeeds to unmask the social personas, like King Lear, we all have to wear and asks us to face the vulnerabilities of the self. It is a book in which the patients are given a voice as well as their therapist and even the porn addict finally manages to get behind his macho mask.
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on 31 October 2011
This is one of the most unusual books on therapy that I've read.Unusual because of the self-revelation,the quest to express the inexpressable and her love and empathy for herself,her analyst and her patients.Jane Haynes begins the book with a description of her 13 years in analysis.It is almost stream of consciousness and never attempts to show herself in a good light but rather to describe her inner states at the time.She then writes about her own therapeutic approach leading on to snapshots from several of her patients' cases.Despite the fact that I have never entered a long analysis,as a psychotherapist I found myself becoming increasingly self-reflexive and also learning a great deal about the transactions of everyday life and therapy.
I totally recommend it.
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on 22 December 2014
A brilliant book, painfully honest and beautifully written, in which the author describes her childhood and much of her personal life, together with her long apprenticeship as a psychotherapist. She has drawn real wisdom and humanity from her own experiences, and this is reflected in the case studies of several of her own patients which form the latter part of the book. As someone who trains psychotherapists I would particularly recommend this book to those who are considering working with people in distress. In this regard I have not come across any other book which comes close to exploring the essentially human issues that draw together those who work as therapists and those who consult them.
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on 11 March 2015
She was much too egocentric for me. there is a glowing introduction by Hilary Mantel which was what sold it to me but i felt the book didn't really live up to it. The self absorbed tend to bore me.In fairness i gave up half way through so it might have got better.
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on 22 August 2012
I am very happy with this purchase. The book is a good read and well written. The book arrived quickly and was well packaged. Would recommend.
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