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Homeopathy? This is the worst and saddest Parenting book I've ever read.
on 14 March 2010
I bought this book thinking I would get a lot of information about Homeopathy. It started very well, with an
Introduction of homeopathy, its history. But then...the following three chapters are about newborns, toddlers and
teenagers. These chapters have been the saddest words I've read about children. I had severe difficulties in reading these, so much that I didn't even read the teenagers section.
The author has failed to understand that homeopathy cannot cure the relationship between a parent and a child! Her comments about children are so inadequate, portraying them explicitly in her book as "unreasonable, demanding, controlling, manipulative". Not to mention that she portrays parents as being "exasperated" all the time. I wonder why children today suffer so much from stress, anxieties and behavioural problems. Instead of leading parents to understand the CORE of the matter in order to understand and deal with our children (and that CORE is to nourish them, respect them as HUMAN BEINGS, hear what they have to say, love them unconditionaly) she just brushes off the surface with outrageous "self-help measures". Her parenting methods draw a perfect analogy to the use of antibiotics to cure illneses.
She also contradicts herself. Two quick examples: She mentions that in cultures where the norm is bedsharing, SIDS is non existant, that's true, and also it is a fact that children are happier, more confident, not afraid of sleeping nor the dark. In her "self-help measures" she suggest that "if your baby is a light sleeper or wakes
regularly at night, putting the cot in another room, like the kitchen, might help, because you might be disturbing her sleep". I beg your pardon Ms Allen, but aren't babies used to constant noise? What about all the noises they hear from the womb? Aren't babies "light sleepers" because they want to be near their mothers? It must be so frightening for a newborn to be sleeping separated from her mother and not hearing those sounds/noises that she is so familiar with. We wonder WHY, babies suffer from anxieties and stress at a young age with the nonsensical fear that we'll spoil them... how pointless, how sad, the more you push them away the more they want to be near you!! It's heartbreaking.
The other example is, if you as a parent chose the route of baby-led weaning, you'll be shocked about what the author has to say about toddlers and eating habits. She reckons that if your child decides that two bites are enough for her and you don't do anything about it, your toddler will get away with it and it'll be "victory for the child". I haven't laughed so hard in years to read such a shallow and stupid lack-of-confidence comment. But then in her "self-help measures" she mentions that toddlers should have regular small meals/snacks during the day. It is so obvious that the author hasn't done any proper research on this matter, where BLW is so popular now, it makes so much sense and BLW leads your child to very healthy eating habits, I even know that children know better than I do when they have had enought to eat. Is it difficult to trust children?
We might, as parents, see our children live, more or less, until they become 60 years-old. If you want to see the big picture, What are 3 years of nourishment out of 60 years? When are we going to understand that having children is pure delight and it is so unnecessary to be at war with them? Can you truly say, Ms Allen, looking at your sons eyes, that they are truly "unreasonable, demanding, controlling, manipulative"? Aren't we PARENTS? We've been children before, we should know better!
If this book would not contain these 3 chapters (and the aura of her parenting methods will not be spread across the book) I'll give it 5 stars. The First Aid section is incredibly useful, as well reading about Common Chilhood Ailments. If you happen to be a parent who believes in gentle discipline or you are an Attachment parent, you'll find this book disheartening, sad and outrageous. If you happen to practice Continuum Concept this book is definitely not for you.