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Jane Austen Would Turn in Her Grave
on 30 November 2012
It is reasonable to surmise that anyone choosing to read Fifty Shades of Mr D'Arcy: a Parody probably has a fair idea of what they are letting themselves in for. Personally I thought that it would provide a little light relief, but in fact, although a very short read, it was a lot more entertaining than I could reasonably have expected.
Elizabeth Bennet lives with her four unmarried sisters and parents. Her mother's ambitions for them are far more modest than to get them married off. She just despairs of getting any of them laid! However, Jane, the eldest daughter excites the attention of a newcomer to the neighbourhood, Mr Bingley who lives with his sisters Carrotslime and Looseata, whilst Bingley's friend, D'Arcy appears interested in Elizabeth herself. D'Arcy is much given to smutty innuendo and schoolboy level dialogue and apparently has rather unusual sexual proclivities, as a result of his school days at Beaton. However, from an early stage you wonder whether he is all mouth and no trousers.
After a lengthy period of verbal jousting with Elizabeth, D'Arcy proposes a contract. This is far from your everyday, common or garden sex slave contract. For example, clause 1 states `The Dominant may use the Submissive in any sexual way he sees fit, at any time, except when the vicar comes to tea'. Poor Elizabeth is clearly confused by some of the terms. The expressions waxed, exfoliated and safe words must have passed her by during her sheltered upbringing. However she does appear to be intrigued by what is being proposed.
Eventually the action commences. There is a particularly harrowing scene when Elizabeth is soundly thrashed with.........a toothbrush. D'Arcy clearly gets a lot more out of this than the unfortunate Elizabeth who is disappointed to get barely any sensation at all. Although mildly bawdy, it is doubtful whether anyone is going to get very offended by any of the content. The author manages to describe any naughty bits rather whimsically. For example Elizabeth's so called ladyparts which, apparently have a life of their own. I thought Elizabeth's alter egos which regularly carried on a conversation with each other were particularly entertaining - her subconscious, the Inner Slapper and her Gaydar, which appears extremely well developed for a young lady of the early 19th Century.
Humour is very individual. I can quite imagine that some will find this so puerile that they will give up on it. However, personally I have quite a warped sense of humour and so found it very entertaining and, at times, extremely funny. Few would dispute that William Codpiece Thwackery has not come up with a work to eclipse Jane Austen's contribution to great English literature. However, it beats Fifty Shades of Grey hands down if you will pardon the expression.