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34 of 35 people found the following review helpful
on 5 June 1999
The reader from Houston would be advised to start thinking about the teachings of this book while she's doing her laundry. She might then find it deeper and more satisfying than her cursory reading of it implies. If it's true that the best books lead us onto other books, then this one passes the test with great generosity: I have already compiled an expanded reading (and film viewing) list from its pages. But it's more than that - a way for a woman to look at herself and the patterns of her life with a balance of emotion and detachment. It does not give easy and quick-fix solutions to what are, after all, heart-wrenching and ingrained problems, but a way towards transformation, towards breaking the negative patterns. On my first reading this book nearly broke me with its clear insights and wise compassion. How could a woman I don't know, half a world away, know so much about me? But it gave me the motivation to dig deeper and wider, and the eyes to see not only myself, my relationship with my father and with men, my creativity, but also my mother, my sisters, my friends. The use of myth - in fairy-tales, legends, novels and films - lends a strong intellectual framework to the book without sacrificing the emotional content, while the author's clinical experience and anecdotes from her own life places it firmly in the lives of real women. The author has done what many men say women cannot do: widen the perspective to embrace the large picture as well as zoom in on the details. I can't recommend this book enough, to men as well as women. Intelligent, perceptive, and emotionally mature.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on 21 January 2010
I ordered two books in a fit of passion one day after a weekend with my parents last summer! The next day, I felt duly ashamed for what seemed like childish behaviour - both getting upset and resorting to the internet to order this genre of book! However, by the time I had read this book, I was extremely happy that I had done so and I felt love, not resentment, towards those who I felt had driven me to it. I have relapsed at times, but when that's happened I have dipped back into the book and been repeatedly redeemed.

Feeling bitter may have a certain satisfaction but it is painful.
Some other books tend to rant about the bad things that happened and, to an extent, drum up anger and resentment in a person already suffering from a lack of love - making the sadness worse.

Linda Schierse Leonard absolutely avoids this. From the outset, it is clear that she contends that, put simply, if someone has been cruel to you, it is because someone was cruel to them, so to focus energy on blaming them and making them hurt will simply cause more suffering. You can instead work on healing your self and your own view of the world.

If what you want is a "bitching session", this is not the book for you. But if you want an answer that will break the spell that keeps you feeling negative, you are lucky to have the opportunity to read this wonderful piece of work. I am not attributing all positive changes in my life since last summer to the book. Rather, I would consider the book among the factors that contributed to me making choices in a new way, a way that led me out of a 3.5yr fog... :)

(One thing I don't like is the title and the cover. You don't want to tear the cover off a new book ... but this is tricky to carry around or read on the bus!)
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
on 6 January 2009
This book is great, I wish i had found it thirty years ago, oh the pain it could have saved me. This is a book for daughters and for wives and for fathers. I want to give it to all male friends with daughters, let them learn how important their actions are. Because the sins of the fathers are visited on the daughters and their boyfriends and husbands and their children. This book is not written for high brows in my opinion, ok it quotes greek mythology but i skipped some of that, the crux is the thing, how we split and how we can heal ourselves and our relationships. I bought three books on the same subject and as usual one is a gem, this is it.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on 15 February 2007
This was one of three books I have recently found very helpful in exploring my "father hunger" which had brought my marriage to the brink of collapse. The others ("The Father Factor" and "Father Hunger")were not quite like this, however. This is a book only for women. It is almost poetic in parts and full of fairy stories and myths to illustrate the damaging relationships between fathers and daughters and how the daughter can redeem these for herself. I dipped into it, rather than reading it from cover to cover and found it like chicken soup for the soul. I found it encouraging to read about the different reactions to dysfunctional fathers (my sister and I have very different reactions) and wonder why books on sibling relationships don't suggest looking outside the sibling relationship for the source of discord. I take solace for my own children. If their father does a better job than mine did, their sibling relationships should also be easier, their marriages less troubled, their careers more successful, and their happiness secured.

A brown paper cover to spare embarassment on trains might be a good idea, however.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on 31 August 2009
I lost my father 3 years ago, and as a normally positive person was lost as to why I was feeling like I was.
This book analysed not just where I am now, but where I have been for some time, in a none judgemental, analytical way. And helped me to cross into a more positive relationship with myself and others.
An absolutley marvellous, self-finding insight into human...not just female (although doubt I will be able to convince any males of that!) nature/nurture/ unconcious/voices within.
Do read it, even if you don't think you need to.
Not too heavy, and definately easier than ironing!!!!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 26 December 2011
This book really helped me understand who I am and why and how to overcome the less positive aspects of myself. Yes, it is a very academically written book, but if you take the time to work through it, you will reap the rewards.

I underlined most of it, then wrote those underlined words in an A3 sized sketch pad which helped me simplify it all.

I highly recommend this book.
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on 15 December 2009
Interesting, seems repetitive at the begining but then it all makes sense. It is good that the writer makes use of her own experiences too.
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4 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on 20 February 1999
I found this book to be not only wordy but also unsatisfying. It was written on a level far above the average reader's vocabulary. The most complex subject can be explained to a very small child when sufficiently broken down. However, distraught daughters don't get that luxury in this journal. Instead their serious, heart wrenching troubles get likened to characters in movies, myths, and legends in words and phrases that are not familiar to the average person. The reality was left totally lacking. Then, as if to add insult to injury, there was little, if any, resolution to the breach and resulting vacuum felt in the hearts of many women. I was left feeling very unsatisfied after reading this book.
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