on 27 November 2014
This book is a permission giving book. Swift opens the way to embark upon a journey of self discovery. She reminds us that it's good to figure out exactly what brings you into your orgasmic potential...what precise physical and technical requirements you have...it's a manual, a textbook for learning a new skill. That's how she approaches the subject, saying that women have been taught passivity in sex due to the mixed messages of our cultures and religions and now we must learn how to have an orgasm in the same way that we would learn how to become fluent in a new language.
This book has carried me forwards and I have enjoyed the journey, but I still have questions and blocks that were not covered in the book. Her chapter on fantasy was not extensive enough. I want to learn how to be orgasmic during masturbation and sex without relying on fantasy. She suggests to make the fantasy interweave with the reality of the sexual situation. She calls it a "blended fantasy", to successfully combine fantasy and reality and that the ultimate sophistication is for you and your partner to indulge in mutual fantasies".
I was disappointed that she didn't go deeper into the "how" at this point.
I realised that my research and evolutionary sexual experiences need to follow a Tantric path. But I do recommend this book. It has some good research in it, some interesting facts about the differences between male and female orgasm and animal and human orgasms. And it is very encouraging. I found that I could orgasm in a lot more positions and situations than I had imagined possible.