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4.3 out of 5 stars147
4.3 out of 5 stars
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The Velominati have compiled in one handy and humorous volume the entire anthropology of the dedicated club rider.

When today's club ride started our group was joined by a youngish woman I had not met before. I could see that she was properly kitted out in black bibs and a leZyne pump peeking out of her jersey pocket. No European posterior man satchel was to be found on her clean and silent steed. Her tires were properly aligned over the wheels. Her barely padded saddle was slammed back, level, and 8 cm above her bar tops. The appointed hour of departure arrived and she, sitting casually deliberate on her top tube, suggested we delay not even a second. No sooner had we rolled out than my worst fears were realized. Despite her modesty ("Oh, I only ride once a week and I'm not comfortable in groups"), she quickly served large helpings of the V; Dropping us like bad habits on the first inclines, swooping down off camber switchbacks and taking her turns in the wind with nary a thought.

Having just read "The Rules" I recognized her for what she was, The Woman with the Hammer and a true Velominata Rule Fundamentalist.

THIS is anthropology. Leave the kinship rituals of long forgotten aboriginals to others and take a couple of hours to learn about your neighbors. Highly recommended.
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on 5 August 2013
I have a collection of cycling books that now dominates my bookshelves with topics ranging from biographies to race histories to cycling humour.
This book is without a doubt a definite keeper, it will be referred to on a regular basis and it will always be with a wry smile on my face.
"The Rules" can be seen by some as tongue in cheek commentary on aspects of cycling but behind every rule thought has been put into it
Rule #28 discusses socks and what colour they should be. A bit anal I thought but was then told by a good friend that when he used to ride time-trials you HAD to wear white socks, ride without socks or not ride.
The rules aren't in chronological order but are grouped by category - The Disciple, The Ride, The Bike and so on - and make for a very entertaining and thought provoking read. Some rules are aesthetically based some are psychologically based
My favourite rule is rule# 5. Since applying this rule to my own cycling, I have done better times and enjoyed the ride more.
Some people will no doubt see this book as merely a cycling parody and something to be flicked through in a book shop and then put down as it for someone else. However there's plenty in this book for any cyclist to get their teeth into and have a laugh at themselves when they think "Oh my god....I do that".... But there's also the flip side of "Yeah...maybe I SHOULD do that"
Definitely a recommended read!
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on 27 December 2014
Can only echo the other 1 star reviews - don't buy this book on Kindle. The font is so small as to be illegible and cannot be enlarged. Amazon, please withdraw from sale until you have resolved the p problem.
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on 11 January 2014
Brilliant book which explains lots of cycling history and etiquette.... A copy should be sent to every cyclist in the UK!
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on 27 May 2014
A good book, works fine on my iPad but NOT my Kindle. Apparently this Kindle book, bought from the Amazon Kindle store isn't compatible with my Kindle. What's that all about then?
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on 1 June 2016
This is not tongue-in-cheek...not one tiny bit. For those of us with sufficient pride in our craft I can truly say this tome gets to the core of what constitutes a Velominatus. Yes, one has to endorse what some of our feebler cousins have not yet come to realize - that the bike (I mean racing steed, not the cheesy geared-up garbage known as the 'mountain' bike. N.B. purchasers of said item rarely, if ever use these on mountains as they generally live in places which are even devoid of any hills.

I digress. For those weaklings who pretend to be a tough-guy by wearing cheap imitation team-kit I can only say - you look like a pranny!. Biking is not to be taken lightly, nor cheapened, nor classed as a mere past-time. It has its own code of decorum and etiquette which should never be transgressed. Only aficionados will put themselves through pain, marital stress and huge expense for the purpose of reaching the true goal of self-discovery. It is a creed, more vital than pure Christianity. I put it to you.....can you really be a true disciple if you put mudguards on your bike?. Can you hold your head up in public if not wearing matching kit, or (horror of horrors) sport a Camelbak?. Nay I say, nay.

Read this book (or don''t read it at your peril) or you will never know whether you are REALLY a cyclist, or just another cheap imitation.
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on 7 July 2013
A most valuable addition to a cycling library. No, the most valuable book on road cycling. Except for maybe "Tomorrow, We Ride" by
Jean Bobet.
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on 20 May 2015
I thought long and hard about what review I was going to give this book. Admittedly this is only going to be 100% applicable to a sub-set of cyclists, and few of us can ever hope to become a velominatus. However yesterday as I was bumping across the Berkshire pave, climbing a nasty little gradient into the wind, with the rain and hail just starting what kept me going was growling 'rule #5' under my laboured breath.
So I have to give it V stars.
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on 17 October 2013
Just try not to laugh at this book. If you're a hard core cyclist you'll realise that every word is shamefully (or joyously) true. If you're not then what are you doing with your life?
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on 21 June 2013
If you are interested in cycling, and want to read from those with a passion for the sport, and the way of life, then this is the book for you. If you seek knowledge of excellence, history, heritage, culture, dedication, and anything else, related to dishing out hurt from your legs as you peddle just that bit harder, then this is the book for you. If you want to be amused, amazed, entertained, and suprised then this is the book for you.

It is a beautifully bound, sacred text, handed down from Mount Velomis. Buy it, read it, treasure it.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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