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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How to stop being a doormat, 21 Oct 2011
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Damaskcat (UK) - See all my reviews
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Many people have the idea that assertiveness means getting your own way all the time but this is very far from the case. Reading this book will remind you that the only person's behaviour you can change is your own but changing your own behaviour can change how those around you react to you. Throughout the book there are reminders about the rights everyone has such as the right to your own opinion and the right to spend at least some of your time how you want to spend it. But the book makes clear that with rights go responsibilities.

Assertiveness goes hand in hand with self esteem. If you feel the constant need to please others and do what they want you will find it difficult to be assertive. Being assertive means standing up for what you think or what you want to do and if you are always at the mercy of other people's opinion then you will find it difficult. All changes take time to have an effect. If you have lived twenty or thirty years not being assertive then you will not be able to make changes overnight. The book constantly reminds the reader that you need to pick your battles. If you start with the idea that assertiveness means never giving in then you are confusing assertiveness with aggression. There are times when it is better to just let something minor go without tackling someone else.

There are useful case studies throughout the book which may fit your particular problem. Some of us have no problem with being assertive in a work situation but find it impossible to be assertive at home. Some are the opposite and yet others are very good at making a consumer complaint but find themselves unable to act effectively in other situations. Negotiation is a big part of being assertive and the book gives useful tips about how to go about negotiating with people who want you to do their bidding.

I find the standard layout of Teach Yourself books very useful with their detailed contents list and frequent headings and sub headings. The index in this e-book is particularly good as well as it is interactive as is the contents list. I'm sure this is a book which I shall be constantly dipping into as it is all too easy to let people in your life dictate how you spend your time especially if you are a fairly easy going individual. Recommended reading for anyone who finds themselves with no time to do the things they want to do though anyone hoping to be more assertive overnight needs to remember that change takes time.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars a practical guide that gives you the tools to change your behaviour, 20 Jan 2012
This review is from: Be More Assertive: Teach Yourself (Teach Yourself General) (Paperback)
At last - a guide that actually shows the reader why they need to change their patterns of speech and behaviour, how to recognise their mistakes and how to change for the better.
The author flags up the words, phrases and behaviour patterns that we should not be using if we want to become fully functioning adults with a clear idea of what we want to do with our lives and how we want to manage our relationships.
This is done throughout the book with a variety of scenarios that had me saying in rueful recognition, 'Oh, yes! I say that' followed nearly always by 'And yes, I do then end up doing something that I had no intention of doing and didn't really want to do - and then I resent it.'
Definitely one of those books that gets you talking to it.
But - it doesn't just get you to be aware of what you're doing wrong, it gives you practical help to change.
And you try it.
And it works!!
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Be More Assertive: Teach Yourself (Teach Yourself General)
Be More Assertive: Teach Yourself (Teach Yourself General) by Suzie Hayman (Paperback - 24 Sep 2010)
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