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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars168
4.7 out of 5 stars
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on 17 October 2011
Having worked with women survivors of both childhood abuse and domestic abuse for over 15 years now, including co- facilitation of Ms Craven's The Freedom Programme; I can thoroughly recommend this book to anyone dealing with domestic abuse; whether a professional wishing to enhance their understanding or for individuals thinking of moving on in their lives.
Written in the context of a male perpetrator with a female "victim", the persona of the Dominator can easily be applied to those family members or same-sex partners who carry out these actions.
Within each section of this book, Patricia Craven breaks down the various roles the Dominator plays and gives these names such as The Bully, The Headworker or The Bad Father. She describes the traits that each role exhibits, their belief system and how society appears to reinforce this. She goes on to explain how these behaviours affect the women. In stark contrast, at the end of each section a brief description is given of the alter-ego of the role, for example the qualities of The Good Father.
Whilst working with Women's Aid, I have co-facilitated The Freedom Programme to groups of women who have experienced domestic abuse, a 12 week "survivors training" devised by Pat Craven. The book Living with the Dominator is used as a hand book, which is given to each participant. The women can easily identify the roles of the Dominator and often say "... she must have met my ..... before she wrote this" and "That's exactly how ..... made me feel". Using the book as a framework, the women are enabled to work through their experiences and challenge each other in a safe, supportive environment. Women taking part report increased confidence, that they feel better equipped to recognise abusive behaviours in the future, feeling equipped to make decisions to protect themselves and extricate themselves from relationships where abusive behaviour occurs.
Lynne East Renfrewshire Women's Aid
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on 16 August 2013
Still reading this book on and off, in between reading other books to increase self awareness and development. Certainly written in an easy to read way, just how I like it!
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on 23 June 2013
This book describes the tactics of controlling men. It is a useful tool for anyone wishing to educate themselves about domestic violence and control. I highly recommend it.
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on 24 May 2014
A very helpful tool to assist you in trying to understand what is happening and why. It is a must for all women in any abusive situation to help them see its not them
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on 18 November 2011
This book is amazing! It has saved my life (literally!). Splits the dominator into categories, and helps you to see the abuse clearly. Would recommend it to anyone.
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on 12 September 2013
A must if you are thinking of attending a Freedom Programme. They work through this book but it makes so much more sense if you can read it at your own pace.
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on 16 August 2013
Excellent read, it is really helping me to come through my issues. I certainly recommend this book for anyone who has been dominated in their partnership.
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on 3 June 2013
Well written and very informative...A must read for everyone.. Gives a real understanding to life with a Dominator and what Mr Right should be like...
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on 18 January 2013
this is a must read by anyone not just professionals delivering the course. Very easy to read format, that challenges perceptions and gives solutions.
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on 19 April 2013
I have done the freedom programme already and bought this book to refresh my memory and I cannot recommend enough, Pat Craven is an amazing woman
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