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60 of 61 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life- I am free and in control of my own life at last!
I bought this book and it has changed my life.

I could never understand or pinpoint what was happening to me by my partner. I was depressed, unhappy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning. He never actually hit me, but he didn't need to, he was mentally controlling me through, blackmail, guilt, anger and intimidation.

This book is enjoyable,...
Published on 31 Mar 2009 by StepbyStep

versus
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not an Open and Shut Case
On the hand this is full of wisdom around various types and styles of male domination of women. She also looks into the family background and makes some observations of perpetrators. The links to the wider social world are also constructive.

However it is aimed at the working class domination mode. It would have been interesting if she had looked at the middle...
Published 13 months ago by Dr. Delvis Memphistopheles


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60 of 61 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life- I am free and in control of my own life at last!, 31 Mar 2009
By 
StepbyStep (Mitcham, Surrey, Greater London, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I bought this book and it has changed my life.

I could never understand or pinpoint what was happening to me by my partner. I was depressed, unhappy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning. He never actually hit me, but he didn't need to, he was mentally controlling me through, blackmail, guilt, anger and intimidation.

This book is enjoyable, clear and concise. On every page i recognised something that was happening to me. It was though i woke up and a light bulb had been switched on in my head, i suddenly realised what was happening and i started to get angry, how dare i be treated like this and taken for granted.

When i started to say no, and confront what was happening things actually got worse. Eventually he admitted he had a problem (after 7 years) and tht really he didn't want to be that kind of person anymore.

This book has educated me, i can now describe in words what has been happening to me. I have regained my own life, I can do what i want when i want, and i dont care what he thinks anymore, last week i went to a nightclub for the first time in 7 years without him.

The old me is coming back and i cant believe i have wasted my life trying to please a man who really has been emotionally controlling me for years.

And to not slip into my old ways, i recap this book every week or so.

Buy this book - it is fantastic!
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60 of 62 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Probably the most concise of description of Domestic Abuse, 11 July 2008
By 
Mr. N. Evans (wales) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I stumbled on this book by chance, my story is similar to Pat Craven's. As a serving Police Officer domestic abuse is probably the most important issue the police deal with day in day out!However ours is a organisation that loves to get results and detect crimes. Domestic abuse is far more complicated than that. As a young police officer, I used to think why do they stay with them? Surely it would be easier to leave. But this book explains why? and how? I now understand. What this book does is empower you, because now you know that you are not alone, there are thousands of women and children who are going through exactly what you are experiencing. It gives you the plain facts and lets be honest these men are predictable and self centred. Now you know his tactics you can plan ahead! Every man and women on this planet should read this book, it will save you from a lot of aggravation, worry and upset. This book will help you spot a menace from 100 yards, thank you Pat.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential Reading For All !!!, 15 July 2009
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I can thoroughly recommend this book to everyone, man, woman, perpetrator and victim or merely someone seeking to expand their own growth through this thing we call life, this book can be the key to the door that opens up the rest of your life to a universe of positive possibility. A truly insprational read that should be on everyones required reading list. Freedom is every ones birthright
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book can change your life!, 15 May 2008
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I have worked with survivors of domestic abuse using the Freedom Programme - which is life changing for many women who come to realise what abusive behaviour really is. This book is the basis of the programme and can help you understand behaviours in your own situation and get help to free yourself. It is inspiring and the illustrations add greatly to the read.

I hope many women, men and professional workers in the statutory and voluntary sector will get hold of this book to help surviors.
There is loads more useful info. on the Freedom Programme website.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book could change your life!, 16 May 2008
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
This is the best book I have come across in relation to Domestic Abuse. I would hope that it would be very helpful for any woman who is herself the victim of abuse, but is also an excellent and accessible read for any professional who has anything to do with Domestic Abuse Perpetrators or victims - and as this is all too common - this means YOU!! The cartoons by Jackie Fleming are poignant and make their points very powerfully. I am recommending this book to everyone I know - have a look and you will soon be doing the same.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Living with the Dominator, 16 Jan 2012
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
In the past I have been a victim of Domestic Abuse and now as a Family Suppoert Worker I work with victims of domestic abuse. This book is invaluable and makes you realise that you are NOT to blame!! This book has saved lives and I am sure will continue to do so. It is not just for women but should be a book for everybody. Pat Craven can go to bed at night knowing she has really made a difference!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing book, 17 Nov 2011
By 
M. Stafford (uk) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
This book is in my opinion the most important book that any woman can read. Being fortunate enough to train with the wonderful Pat Craven herself, I am now privileged to deliver the programme to dozens of women each year and they not only leave with eyes open wide to the tactics of abusive men but they also leave with a relaistic expectation of what a decent relationship should be like.
I read a comment that the book is 'male bashing' and I would respond to that by saying that no, it isn't, it is talking in a frank and clear manner about domestic violence. I see lightbulb moments each week from women who are realising that it is NOT their fault and that many abusive men follow the same patterns of behaviour and use the same tactics. Just by reading this book at home you will have those lightbulb moments. As someone else rightly said, each chapter finishes on a positive note by looking at Mr Right and Pat Craven is very clear in her training about how important this bit is, that we as facilitators of the course should not skim over it even if we are running out of time.
I cannot state enough how much this book and the programme changes lives and I would highly recommend it for all women, not just women who are in abusive relationships. For more information about the programme please check out Pat's website. If you are a woman considering beginning a programme please do, you'll be guaranteed a warm welcome no matter where you live or which programme you attend and it will enable you to have better relationships with everyone as well as boosting your confidence levels. It isn't only 'battered women' who come on the programme, many women come along saying 'I don't think I really need it' then repeat the programme two or three times. A comment which sticks with me is a lady who came along to a session and said to me afterwards, "I can't believe how normal everyone looked when I walked in... I don't know what I was expecting". Domestic violence happens EVERYWHERE to ANYONE and this book is literally a life saver for womoen it is happening to and it is also a guide on how to avoid these awful relationships.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this, 17 Jun 2008
By 
H. Jones "traveller" (England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
This should be required reading for everyone and I intend using it in my teaching at university. It is accessible, jargon-free, funny and insightful. Jacky's cartoons bring the 'dominator' into sharp relief but also help to show him for what he is. Pat has brought her lifetime of experience into a really valuable book - is it time for a book on the teenage 'dominators-in-training' to inform girls and young women?! This book is a great tool in helping to re-balance power in relationships and alert women to danger signs. My favourite page is 'Not a saint that we are seeing just a decent human being' (p15) - that is the man we all deserve! Well done Pat and I really hope it becomes a best-seller because it deserves to be.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book saved my life, 19 Oct 2011
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This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I didn't know I was suffering Domestic Abuse. i was never black and blue. Most of his abuse was emotional, mental and verbal. he would get 'aggressive' at times when 'I made him flip' and he would push and shove etc. I went on the Freedom Programme Course too and I am not being dramatic when I say it saved my life. My husband is every character in this book. It is a quick read because you just can't put it down when you start.
Reading this made me feel more normal and that what had been happening to me for 14 years was not normal. I was given my first copy of this by a friend I have sinced passed it on to another friend so I am buying two copies. One for me to keep and one to pass on to anyone else i meet who will need it. It is good to keep re-reading the book as it is easy to slip back into thinking he will change or things will get better. My life is so much happier now. My children are happier and we have more fun together. Without this book and the course I would have been trapped forever.
The book is brief and to the point and I like that. It is matter of fact and direct and I like that. i don't need fuss around the edges. Domestic Violence is what it is. I read this book two years before I left my husband it took me that long to reach my enough is enough. The book is also really useful to give to friends and family to give them an insight into what I have been through. This should be given out in schools, every young person needs to be made more aware of the spectrum of Domestic Violence it is not just about being beaten up.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars MOVING, THOUGHT PROVOKING AND READABLE, 29 Aug 2011
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I read this book in one morning. I found it to be a fascinating and insightful look at the abusive relationship.

I feel that my understanding of my own experiences has grown immensely, and the recognition of the relationships of many of my friends and family to be astounding.

I particularly liked how the author shows us how we as a society are tolerating and perpetuating this abuse.

I have already lent it to a friend. I cannot stop thinking about what I have learned from this entertaining, yet educational read.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It should be part of the national curriculum, and as soon as they are old enough, I will lend it to my children.
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