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56 of 56 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life- I am free and in control of my own life at last!
I bought this book and it has changed my life.

I could never understand or pinpoint what was happening to me by my partner. I was depressed, unhappy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning. He never actually hit me, but he didn't need to, he was mentally controlling me through, blackmail, guilt, anger and intimidation.

This book is enjoyable,...
Published on 31 Mar 2009 by StepbyStep

versus
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not an Open and Shut Case
On the hand this is full of wisdom around various types and styles of male domination of women. She also looks into the family background and makes some observations of perpetrators. The links to the wider social world are also constructive.

However it is aimed at the working class domination mode. It would have been interesting if she had looked at the middle...
Published 10 months ago by Dr. Delvis Memphistopheles


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56 of 56 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life- I am free and in control of my own life at last!, 31 Mar 2009
By 
StepbyStep (Mitcham, Surrey, Greater London, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I bought this book and it has changed my life.

I could never understand or pinpoint what was happening to me by my partner. I was depressed, unhappy and couldn't get out of bed in the morning. He never actually hit me, but he didn't need to, he was mentally controlling me through, blackmail, guilt, anger and intimidation.

This book is enjoyable, clear and concise. On every page i recognised something that was happening to me. It was though i woke up and a light bulb had been switched on in my head, i suddenly realised what was happening and i started to get angry, how dare i be treated like this and taken for granted.

When i started to say no, and confront what was happening things actually got worse. Eventually he admitted he had a problem (after 7 years) and tht really he didn't want to be that kind of person anymore.

This book has educated me, i can now describe in words what has been happening to me. I have regained my own life, I can do what i want when i want, and i dont care what he thinks anymore, last week i went to a nightclub for the first time in 7 years without him.

The old me is coming back and i cant believe i have wasted my life trying to please a man who really has been emotionally controlling me for years.

And to not slip into my old ways, i recap this book every week or so.

Buy this book - it is fantastic!
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58 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Probably the most concise of description of Domestic Abuse, 11 July 2008
By 
Mr. N. Evans (wales) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I stumbled on this book by chance, my story is similar to Pat Craven's. As a serving Police Officer domestic abuse is probably the most important issue the police deal with day in day out!However ours is a organisation that loves to get results and detect crimes. Domestic abuse is far more complicated than that. As a young police officer, I used to think why do they stay with them? Surely it would be easier to leave. But this book explains why? and how? I now understand. What this book does is empower you, because now you know that you are not alone, there are thousands of women and children who are going through exactly what you are experiencing. It gives you the plain facts and lets be honest these men are predictable and self centred. Now you know his tactics you can plan ahead! Every man and women on this planet should read this book, it will save you from a lot of aggravation, worry and upset. This book will help you spot a menace from 100 yards, thank you Pat.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be compulsary reading in schools, 27 Feb 2010
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
This book did save my life. It should be compulsary reading (particularly for girls) in school's. If I had known the early warning signs of abusive men outlined in this book, I may have been able to avoid my abusive marriage.

This is a brilliant book, well written, humorous (as much as one can be when dealing with this subject matter) and is easy to understand.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Much needed information, 21 May 2009
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I had married again. It was a short abusive marriage and I couldn't understand why I had been treated so badly. The book opened my eyes to the way some men are and I just got unlucky. I purchased one for my grown up son
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For Us Girls - We Know Who We Are, 17 April 2011
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I read this book when I took part in the Freedom Programme run by my local Womens Aid after successfully leaving an abusive relationship. I cant say how much it and the course has helped me, my ex still attempts to control me even now a year later but had I not taken read the book I,d have missed the signs. Its also helped again recently after I started another relationship with someone else - again I saw the signs and ended the relationship quickly before it could develop into anything else.
Its helped give me the strength and confidence to see that I,m better off alone than be with someone who will constantly abuse me.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone experiencing domestice abuse., 18 Feb 2010
By 
Julia blake (UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
This book looks at typical issues surrounding domestic violence, it helps to clarify what is abuse and identify common traits of an abuser. While this book carries a serious note regarding an extremely serious issue, Pat Craven also injects a little humour for the reader. If you are experiencing abuse or are someone who abuses, this book can certainly help a person to know what is happening for them and provides hope. There is help out there! I recommend wholeheartedly reading this book, not only if you are being abused or are an abuser, but also to gain insight into what is happening in this country behind closed doors - much more than we realise!!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential Reading For All !!!, 15 July 2009
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I can thoroughly recommend this book to everyone, man, woman, perpetrator and victim or merely someone seeking to expand their own growth through this thing we call life, this book can be the key to the door that opens up the rest of your life to a universe of positive possibility. A truly insprational read that should be on everyones required reading list. Freedom is every ones birthright
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars everyone should read this, 6 Aug 2009
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
as a victim of domestic violence i was referred to the freedom programme by my support worker, this book was given to me and each week we looked at each persona of the dominator. this book enlightens you about the way the dominator takes control and how he keeps you in control. before i was in a abusive relationship i used to say "why do these women stay", i now know and for all those people who say that very same phrase this book is a must. this book helped me realise that none of the abuse was my fault and although i had no confidence when i finally fled i became a survivor. its been 5 years now but only 5 months since hes stopped harassing me and i still read this book. it is my bible and although i will never forget what my ex did i know i am a better person than my ex ever will be, and i am a much stronger human being than i was. THIS BOOK IS A MUST FOR EVERYONE
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book can change your life!, 15 May 2008
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
I have worked with survivors of domestic abuse using the Freedom Programme - which is life changing for many women who come to realise what abusive behaviour really is. This book is the basis of the programme and can help you understand behaviours in your own situation and get help to free yourself. It is inspiring and the illustrations add greatly to the read.

I hope many women, men and professional workers in the statutory and voluntary sector will get hold of this book to help surviors.
There is loads more useful info. on the Freedom Programme website.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing., 4 April 2012
This review is from: Living with the Dominator: A Book About the Freedom Programme: 1 (Paperback)
My problem was i had no idea of what love really was. My distorted view kept me in an abusive marriage for thirteen years. I saw my self as a woman who loved to much! How wrong i was!
This book changed my life! I learnt what real love was and what love was not! I began to understand the games that are played in order to control our lives, our very existence. I learnt what was acceptable behaviour and what was unacceptable behaviour. I finally understood that this man used every possible means to control me and each game was outlined in the book! His tatics, his moves , his treatment of me right there in black and white!
The most amazing thing this book taught me was that this man knew exactly what he was doing, i had used excuses all my life for him and yet now i had learnt he did these things to control me.
Thank god and thank Pat for this book! I now understand what love really is and as a result my life and my childrens lives have been transformed.
I make a plea to every woman suffering to read it! Every professional to read it !Every young woman to read it, and every young man to read it!
Life changing!
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