Shop now Shop now Shop now  Up to 70% Off Fashion  Shop all Amazon Fashion Cloud Drive Photos Shop now Learn More Shop now Shop now Shop Fire Shop Kindle Shop now Shop now Shop now

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
17
4.7 out of 5 stars
Your rating(Clear)Rate this item


There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

on 30 September 2004
This short book is a fascinating study into the Jungian view of what makes relationships work, and not work.
If you've ever sat down and tried to score a failing relationship based on a tally of rights and wrongs this will definitely give you food for thought.
The analysis of 'love' and 'romance'and what really (in the authors experience) lies behind these phenomena makes uncomfortable reading for any die hard romantic, but at the same time Hollis does not reduce the experience down to a set of mechanistic 'drives' or instincts.
What you are left with (if you are convinced by the theory) is a notion of what real love might mean, and what it might cost you.
If you are in a relationship that you think might be cooling off I'd recommend this book, as it could save you from becoming too distant from your partener, or conversely may help you to judge whether there is a real 'love' worth working on.
On the other hand if your relationship went 'up the pictures' a long time ago and you've done a lot of bad things since, you might be better off not reading it, unless of course conciousness matters to you more than comfort.
0Comment| 32 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 18 July 2006
An excellent book on the dynamics involved in intimate relationships. I know of none better. It is not a simple new age idea kind of book but a pithy and eloquent elucidation of the nature of projection and the importance of relationships in our attempts to grow. His summary of the four principles of relationships is worth reading and re-reading until it sinks in. A mature person's look at relationships and relating. Brilliant!
0Comment| 27 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 18 January 2010
This book cuts through oft-hyped sentimental notions about romantic love to reveal what, at least for me, feels like one of the most resonant, mature and credible perspectives on the subject I've ever had the good fortune to read. Beware: It doesn't provide easy, palatable answers! My approach to relationships has changed as consequence of reading this book. I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who's willing to sacrifice their desire for romance on the alter of truth and meaning.
0Comment| 14 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 25 January 2014
I'm a bookie. I write books, but I also read: thousands of them. I say this to put in context what I'm about to say: I'd put this book into my Top 20. What's more, I bore everyone I have the opportunity to harangue with the fact that this is one of the most important books out there, I believe; and if I had a say in it it would be required reading in all secondary schools everywhere. We might then learn not to burden our Beloved with the utterly impossible task of carrying our soul for us – and making us happy. Then perhaps we might find ourselves free to actually love them.

I have read and reread this book so many times (and there are now so many pencilled marks in the margins), that I can quote large chunks by heart - and that's from someone whose memory for word-recall is not good.

A particular q that Hollis raises stay with me: 'What am I asking from this other that I should be doing for myself?' (and its corollary: 'What am I doing for this other that s/he should be doing for him/herself?'). Those are apparently simple and direct questions, but the reclaiming of self-responsibility makes a big difference in relationship; in it is a reclaiming too of unfair and unreal expectations and demands, and the resultant blaming and complaints when the other 'fails to make me happy'.

I can't praise this book highly enough if you would like to improve your self-knowledge and your intimate relationship/s. Hollis is humane, human, kind, generous and very good at communicating; the snippets of poetry throughout really added to the text, as well.
0Comment| 5 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 4 September 2012
At last a psychology book that I found accessible and enlightening. It really helped me to understand some of the difficult feelings around love, loss and conditioned thinking that contribute to feelings of isolation. Needs to be read at least twice, there is a lot to think about here.
0Comment| 6 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 19 March 2012
If you are considering reading this book because of past or current relationship issues, or just seeking more self-awareness or developing your interest in Analytical Psychology then this book is a gem. My only criticism is that it's too short and left me wanting more! It's beautifully written by an inspiring person. Very truthful but sensitive. It asks you to raise your consciousness but remains grounded in real life. It won't give you practical "answers" because insight begets insight. It's deep like that, you never really get to the bottom of something you just realise how much more interesting your life is now that you understand more clearly and judge less harshly.

These modern books on Analytical Psychology by Inner City Books are a great compliment to the difficult and slow task of working through Jung's Collected Works. I'm currently reading Finding your Individual Path by the same author based on the strength of this book.
0Comment| 4 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
VINE VOICEon 30 November 2010
An excellent book on the dynamics involved in intimate relationships. I know of none better. It looks at the nature of projection and the importance of relationships in our attempts to grow. It can be challenging and insightful to help you separate yourself from the "magical other" so you can be true to yourself. James Hollis has a great way of making deep concepts easy to understand - he is a wonderful teacher in this area.
0Comment| 4 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 22 December 2009
This book was a wonderful find. James Hollis quite uniquely explores the essence of the human need for close relationships from an archetypal perspective. From archetypal themes such as the "going home project" that each of has incorporated within our deep (collective) unconscious, and the need to seek this through a "magical other", he carefully introduces the projections that result, and the tensions from these that come about as we attempt to love another. Referring to Jung's notion of individuation, Hollis places our personal individuation centre-stage in the meaning of the relationship project and how this is the purpose of our close of our close relationships. This book is the starting point for anyone wishing to understand relationships and as an adjunct to books that explore relationship from Freudian or Object Relations perspectives. There is a real need for books such as this that synthesise Jungian concepts. Highly recommended!!
0Comment| 4 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 16 August 2014
Excellent book on the psychic workings of relationships. Not a self-help tome but an easy to read insight into Jungian thoughts on why and how we form relationships. Should be compulsory reading for all young folk before they dive in the deep end with the "magical other" we all seem to seek.
0Comment| One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on 2 January 2015
Originally read this in 2005.....and again since. Enlightening insight into the subconscious dynamics within a relationship.

At one level, it offers valuable glimpses into some of the 'why is this happening', 'why does she do that (or I do that) moments. But the substance of the book I would say is about your own relationship and understanding of your self and how this then relates to another.

I have recommended this book more than any other to friends to read. It will make you think about things which are not always apparent and to some extent not palpable yet true.

It has the potential to change your understanding on relationships and life....but not overnight. Definitely not a quick fix but a glimpse into a hidden world that exists within all of us.

Literally opened the door into another world.
0Comment|Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse

Sponsored Links

  (What is this?)