on 9 August 1999
I'll admit it -- I read this book through a crisis and a time of life that saw transitions everywhere. And while I'm still reeling from pain, and disbelief of the events that have happened to me in the past few years, I am already so much better from reading this book.
When I find myself tempted by defeating behaviors, reading one passage reminds me why I don't want to continue down that road any longer.
The funny thing is, I never saw myself as a codependent or as an addictive person. It doesn't matter what type of turmoil you're going through -- this book WILL remind you of a better way of life.
It truly is a lifeline. I keep a copy at work and am discovering I'll need one at home to. If you struggle with any type of negativity, this book can help remind you that it's really going to be okay.
I had been thinking about buying a book on this topic for some time to further my self improvement process.
This book is about so much more than letting go. It is also about personal power. When you let go of something, it loses its power to control you, and you move forward with your life in a more empowering way.
This book is set up with daily meditations on different issues. If you were to open any page at random, you would probably find something very useful. It is easily read, and as you read can feel the shift in your perception, as these simple to follow principles make a lot of sense.
If you are like most people, there are plenty of things you need to let go of, and you probably have no idea what some of these are. The first step is to identify that a change needs to be made.
Here you will discover many ideas you can use to improve your life. There are too many for me to list in a review, but here are a few biggies:
Attachment, guilt, blame, seeking appoval, codependency, fear, doubt, controlling, family issues, perfection, martyrdom, denial, grief, anger, victimhood.
You replace these non serving beliefs with something more empowering, as you start to practice detachment, self approval, develop an abundance mentality, an attitude of gratitude etc.
There is a principle in psychology that if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.
So,let go and move forward. Imagine how pleased you will be when you have made a lasting change in your life. All lasting changes in your outer reality are accompanied by changes in internal perception.
I believe you will benefit from Letting Go, and hope this was useful.
on 15 July 2002
This book is just brilliant. I have got so much out of it and relate to the daily readings. As a newcomer to the 12 Steps, I have found this to really help me on my discovery of myself and my addictions. This book seems to know just what I am thinking about myself and other people and has helped me deal with all my relationships
on 6 August 1999
I found this book not long after joining Al-Anon and establishing a daily devotional time. I was stuck in a long term emotionally abusive relationship and attempting to escape it. The Language of Letting Go showed me I deserved to be happy. It gave me so much hope for a better future. I still read it daily, its my bible. Thanks Melodie, this book helped me create a life!
on 23 February 1999
I first read through this book of meditations in 1990 and have since had to buy three more copies to replace the ones I gave away to friends and family! When life becomes unmanageable, we need books with "handles", i.e., practical advice on what to do when the grief/pain/anger/conflicts have left us too confused to think straight. Melodie doesn't tell us what to do, but provides unusual insight into navigating deep emotional waters and coming out on the other side in better shape than we went in. I return to this book over and over for the "reality checks" it provides. Today I am ordering yet another copy for myself, and a back-up copy to give away. God bless Melodie!
on 14 August 1999
Written for those recovering from codependency, these meditations are inspirational for anyone who yearns to step out of the patterns that keep us stuck in unhealthy relationships. Beattie is gentle but clear in urging the reader to move on.
on 10 April 1999
Co Dependent No More helped me greatly. It was like a slap in the face and a big wake up call. So I had to buy this book as well! Because ,I could not let go of relationships in my life that had died long ago. I was obsessed with any and all people,upon knowing them for two minutes. This guide is very inspiring and helpful,helps you get through the day. Melody's books were suggested to me by an excellent Therapist.
on 10 July 2009
In "The Language of Letting Go," Melody Beattie gently guides us along the path of self -awareness and recovery from a compulsive process practiced by millions without their awareness, knowledge or consent. The book uses the basic ideas incorporated in two other publications by the same author, "Co-dependent No More" and "Beyond Co-dependency." Using uncomplicated language, she gives us the tools to practice letting go of people, places and things, including a variety of attitudes and coping mechanisms that produce unwanted, negative consequences. Guidelines are set down to help people discover the truth and heal their lives, explaining in the form of daily readings/meditations how to deal with relationships, feelings and a multitude of life experiences, in ways that are beneficial rather than detrimental.
The lives of co-dependent people are characterised by taking responsibility for the feelings, actions and reactions of others, whilst at the same time ignoring their own needs. In some instances abusive and unacceptable behaviours are tolerated for extended periods of time. These self-defeating patterns are usually accompanied by a desperate need to control outcomes, and this book demonstrates how to explore the root causes, and gain healing at a deep level. Working on the concept that no one can give from an empty cup heralds the beginning of the road to a more balanced and rewarding way of life. Gaining the ability to say NO, and mean it, is vital for those who try to earn love and approval by pleasing others. Equally important is learning to say YES and truly believe that it is not only okay, but also the right of every human being to take loving care of themselves, live life joyfully and follow their chosen path with heart.
The book has a spiritual orientation, which is equally suitable for people of all religious faiths or those with none. The fundamental idea of a power greater than ones-self who will provide Good Orderly Direction, without strings, was birthed in the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and has since been adopted by many as a tool for letting go of the things we cannot control in life. There is a theory being expressed quite commonly at the moment which suggests that co-dependency is at the root of all addictions, be they to a chemical or a behaviour, and if this is the case then all recovering addicts need to read and digest Ms Beattie's words. It is not necessary, however, to be an addict in order to suffer from co-dependency. It can stand alone quite firmly on its own two dysfunctional feet.
The one person an individual does have power over, however, is himself or herself. Positive, dramatic changes can and do take place. With warmth, understanding and spiritual insight Melody Beattie shares many of her own feelings and experiences as a recovering addict and co-dependent. Her words come straight from the heart to touch others who are in need of her wisdom. Through the pages of this little gem of a book, it is possible to come to the realisation that anyone can learn how to treat themselves with respect and love, putting self- care at the top of the list. It isn't likely to be easy, especially in the beginning, but by practising the author's suggestions on a daily basis, there comes the promise of freedom. It must be remembered though that this freedom is not given away to anyone. It always has to be claimed.
on 29 October 1997
Having read the book 5 years ago, I still pick up the book everyday, especially when I feel those codependent controlling emotions resurfacing. The book literally saved me from myself the self-defeating behavoirs of trying to control life. It has changed my life. My book is falling apart from use, it is my daily spiritual guidance and encouragement. I couldn't live without it. Thank you from a very codependent who was brought across that bridge into the light. This book has saved me, in financial crisis', in my love relationship, in every aspect of my life. It has taught me that I cannot control life. My screen saver here at work says, "You cannot control people or events... trust, believe and let it go, just let it go"! This book is powerful, a life saver.
on 29 March 1999
I didn't know that there could ever be a book that could influence my life so much. It helps to lift your spirit, your mind and your body. I wish that everyone could read it. I bought a copy for everyone I love.