on 3 May 2002
This book really cuts to the heart of codependency. The author explains how we can become dependent on others for things that we should depend on God for; he examines how that can affect our day to day faith.
He then looks at how we can move away from codependent relationships into true freedom in our faith.
I definitely recommend this book to anyone who struggles with worries about how others perceive them, or who is trying to help someone else who's going through that.
The advice is definitely Christian, and very Biblically-based; the author assumes he's writing for Christians, but I guess some of what he says would apply to others as well.
on 24 February 2012
A truly excellent book, which uses a wholly Biblical approach to challenge and transform all our ideas about our psychological needs.
An experienced and qualified counsellor as well as Bible teacher, Edward T Welch explains how we can all tend to worry about how other people think about us, or how they treat us. Whether that's in the form of shyness, peer pressure, or co-dependency, we are worried that people will see our deep shame, that they will reject us, or that they will hurt us.
This book gets straight to the heart of the most important subjects of the gospel for everyone, of fearing God (not other people), of knowing forgiveness and restoration through faith in Christ, growing in grace, and the community of the church.
Some of it doesn't make for 'comfortable' reading, as it challenges what we think are our greatest needs and problems, and challenges what much modern psychology says on the subject (and self help books!). But thoroughly Biblical, and written with clear practical application for our lives, 'When People Are Big - and God Is Small' can really help us to move on from "people pleasing", being needy (or even needing to be needed by others), problems with self-worth, fear of being exposed or looking bad to other people, telling lies to appear better to other people, jealousy and comparing yourself with other people, and even some of the problems from having been hurt by others... The truth this book illuminates is liberating, helping to redirect our focus from control and self-worship and self-esteem, to love and the worship of God.
on 17 March 2015
I love this book! It is absolutely brilliant! Dr Welch has exceptional insight into the human soul. I think only David Powlison can stand to him. This book is about the fear of man and the way to conquer it. One of his great quotes is the following: “Fear of man is such a part of our human fabric that we should check for pulse if someone denies it.”
In order to fear God, not man, here are the steps he sets forth in his book:
Step 1: Recognize that the fear of man is a major theme both in the Bible and in your own life.
Step 2: Identify where your fear of man has been intensified by people in your past.
Step 3: Identify where your fear of man has been intensified by the assumptions of the world.
Step 4: Understand and grow in the fear of the Lord. The person who fears God will fear nothing else.
Step 5: Examine where your desires have been too big. When we fear people, people are big, our desires are even bigger, and God is small.
Step 6: Rejoice that God has covered your shame, protected you from danger, and accepted you. He has filled you with love.
Step 7: Need other people less, love other people more. Out of obedience to Christ, and as a response to his love toward you, pursue others in love.