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121 of 124 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Unfortunate incident
on finding about the existence of this book I immediately set off to purchase it. I, and my family, have been plagued by issues and tragedy from Huge Ship related incidents and I thought this would, finally, bring them to an end. Unfortunately as I approached the only local bookshop that had not sold out of this essential tome the shop was destroyed by a huge ship that...
Published on 7 Mar. 2012 by Screenie

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121 of 129 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sorely Disappointed
As an individual plagued with chronic constipation and bowel distress for most of my adult life, I felt that my prayers had finally been answered by Captain Trimmer's bold and succinct title. You can imagine my disappointment when I realised that, once again, my dyslexia had let me down.
Published 16 months ago by Ad Kean


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121 of 124 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Unfortunate incident, 7 Mar. 2012
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
on finding about the existence of this book I immediately set off to purchase it. I, and my family, have been plagued by issues and tragedy from Huge Ship related incidents and I thought this would, finally, bring them to an end. Unfortunately as I approached the only local bookshop that had not sold out of this essential tome the shop was destroyed by a huge ship that came out of nowhere; If only the people that ran the bookshop had made time to read this book their livelihood could have been saved. I still live in despair but hope that others were able to access this book before too much damage was done to their lives.
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81 of 85 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A U-Boot Kapitän writes, 17 April 2013
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
As a U-Boat captain operating in the North Atlantic, my crew and I have found this book invaluable. Simply by doing the exact opposite of the advice contained within this tome, we have been able to increase our sunk tonnage in the last three months by 36.7%. Have to go - just sighted another Huge Ship. ALARM! VORBEREITEN DIE TORPEDOS!
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121 of 129 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sorely Disappointed, 19 Dec. 2013
By 
Ad Kean - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
As an individual plagued with chronic constipation and bowel distress for most of my adult life, I felt that my prayers had finally been answered by Captain Trimmer's bold and succinct title. You can imagine my disappointment when I realised that, once again, my dyslexia had let me down.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Let's vanquish this menace with proper education, 18 Mar. 2013
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
To whom it may concern,

Recently I was fortunate enough to elude a marauding "Huge Ship". Thankfully, my father was a cabin lad, and his father afore hime a deck swab. Thus, my family lore is rich with tales of dainty side steps and januty pirouettes to circumvent the grisly end that a Huge Ship takes such mirth and pleasure in providing.

My story is a simple one- a lad born on choppy seas unto the torrid union of a merman and a lusty sea-wench: but this review isn't about my trials and tribulations. As I've outlined, I feel better equipped than most to slip away from the ghastly tentacles and undulating pedipalps of a Huge Ship, as it opens its grisly maw to dismember the unsuspecting. My complaint is- and it is my earnest hope that this will be taken to the highest levels of Amazon management and even to the attention of the most preeminent members of Her Majesty's Government- one of restricted access to life-saving information.

Puruse above, if you will, the tariff applied to this most life-saving of tomes. I humbly implore you to imagine, if you can bear the sheer horror of it, a hospital without nurses. A youth group without correctly CRB-checked parental supervision. A lemonade stall without a disaster recovery plan. Whilst I'm aware such analogies are extreme, and perhaps may induce severe agitation into the fairer sex, such provocative language is needed to illustrate the genunine need: How, with a clear conscience, can Amazon charge £1,342.51 for access to a book that should be a Human Right. If I had my way, I would issue every new-born babe with a copy, and perhaps finally every child would grow up with knowledge of the Dance of the Five Oars, and other tried and tested methods to escape this sea-borne scourge.

I eagerly anticipate a response from the highest decision makers in the land.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Huge Ships? Not a problem anymore., 14 Jan. 2014
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
Ever woken up to the dreaded feeling that the U.S.S Nimitz might have crashed into your kitchen overnight? Ever had to stop engaging with your friends and family because you saw a Huge Ship on the horizon and you didn't want to endanger those around you? If you as much as ever had to drop a phone call to escape an incoming Huge Ship, this book is for you. Don't let those Huge Ships rule your life, take control!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars All about huge ships, worships, internships and fish and ships?, 3 July 2014
By 
Mr. M. G. Gamble "grumblin' man" (Derbyshire, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
Huge ships seem to haunt the family since my great-granddad swam into the huge RMS Titanic 400 miles from the Newfoundland coast in April 1912, losing over 1,500 souls in the process, whilst he was working on a solo trans-Atlantic swim.

During WWII, my dad swam into the Bismarck, a huge German ship, in May 1941, spraining his wrist on the rudder and knocking the plug out of the hull with his knee.

So it comes as no surprise that I tell you that I am a professional cross-Channel swimmer and, like my dad and great-granddad, I have been involved with many collisions with huge ships.

Only last spring, I was involved in a collision with a huge Maersk container ship whilst doing breast stroke, pulling a muscle in my arm in the process.

On making the return trip to Dover, via Copenhagan, I then collided with the huge USS Enterprise whilst she was on a courtesy visit to a Danish brewery. This time, despite doing a much faster front crawl, I received slight but painful bruising to my big toe.

Since last year, I have also had collisions with several other huge ships but, on finding and reading this book, I have taken on board the tips provided therein and not had a single collision with a huge ship since.

However, despite curbing all collisions with huge ships, I have had several collisions with small ships just over the past few weeks.

These collisions include an unnamed hit-and-run, whilst doing butterfly stroke in the Baltic Sea, with a vessel owned by a Russian oligarch. I'm afraid the name of the small ship was written in the Cyrillic alphabet so I could not identify the small ship before he got away.

There was another "prang", this time whilst doing back stroke in the Bay of Biscay, with a replica of the "Santa Maria", as used by Christopher Columbus to discover the Americas in 1492.

The worst injury I received after a collision with a small ship was a black eye whilst doing doggy paddle as I collided with the "Black Pearl" just outside the Disney theme park in Florida only last week.

Therefore, I am looking forward to the second book in the series "How to Avoid Small Ships" which is due for release later this year (or not).
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112 of 125 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for all your huge ship avoiding needs, 24 April 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
Before I bought this book I often found avoiding huge ships to be a constant problem. Not a week would go by without some sort unforseen collision occuring and ruining my day.
Then a friend bought me this book, and it has transformed my life. I won't give too many of its insightful findings away, but one thing it taught me was to keep my eyes open for any super-tonne moving objects in my path by observing tell-tale secondary effects such as eclipsing of sunlight or other local weather effects (eg. localised protection from rain). It also taught me to try to stay clear of main shipping routes and the sea generally as this is where huge ships are said to frequent.
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39 of 43 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars great book, 11 Jun. 2012
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
Thanks to this book i will never be hit by a huge ship again.

4 stars only because the author has not written a book about avoiding trains yet.
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38 of 42 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Possibly the most useful book I own, 27 Mar. 2009
By 
Sick Mouthy (Exeter, Devon) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
As I have never encountered a huge ship at all in nearly 30 years of life, some of that by the coast might I add, I can only assume that the lessons this book has taught me have been completely successful. An absolute must for anyone suffering from ship-specific megalophobia.
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118 of 132 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good introduction but lacking detail., 27 Mar. 2009
By 
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
I too was plagued by Huge Ship issues in my home town of Glastonbury until I found this book.

The author is clearly an expert with regard to Huge Ship identification and avoidance but the text misses some fundamentals. For instance, if the ship is viewed on the horizon, how is one to discover whether the ship is coming towards or moving away from the observer? More diagrams would be useful.

Will the author be following up this work with a more comprehensive treatise? We can only hope.

Only four stars I'm afraid as, even after studying this tome at length, I still managed to walk into a seagoing vessel of some considerable size.

Had the text been clearer I feel sure that this incident could have been avoided.
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How to Avoid Huge Ships
How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer (Paperback - 1 Mar. 1993)
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