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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A brave story that must be shared
Coming from the younger generation I have never really thought about just how much has changed in the world over the years. Through Laurie Matthews biography, she takes you back to her childhood in the 1950's, 1960's and paints a very clear picture of life as it was back then. Including the introduction of telephones and televisions, the way families lived, the poverty...
Published on 27 Jun 2012 by Pink_Rainbow

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3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Very good
Published 2 months ago by Williams


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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A brave story that must be shared, 27 Jun 2012
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This review is from: Groomed: An Uncle Who Went Too Far. A Mother Who Didn't Care. A Little Girl Who Waited for Justice. (Paperback)
Coming from the younger generation I have never really thought about just how much has changed in the world over the years. Through Laurie Matthews biography, she takes you back to her childhood in the 1950's, 1960's and paints a very clear picture of life as it was back then. Including the introduction of telephones and televisions, the way families lived, the poverty which most families suffered, and the lack of support which children had. One thing which hasnt changed is people's views on abuse and just how much of it there is going on under our noses. There may be more support available for survivors of abuse, which in itself indicates that it is still going on. However, Laurie Matthew shares with you her brave story which explains how easily it is for a child to be abused and the grooming proccess which abusers often use to gain the childs trust and sometimes even love. The writer of the book has made it very clear for the reader to understand the authors emotions and how her mind was programmed from a very young age.

I had waited patiently for this book to be launched and once I had the book in my hands I couldnt put it back down. It is written in such a way that you feel connected to the author and can empathise with the child who endures such pain and torture. This book is not one of which focuses on the details of the abuse itself but more so of the grooming which takes place leading up to the abuse and the pschological battle of a child who has been trained not to tell, therefor is trapped with this secret life. She explains how confusing things can be for such a young child to try and understand and not having the knowledge to know what is right and wrong. Adults are people who know better and are trusted by children to do the right thing by them, to protect them and to love them, so why should Laurie think her uncle would be any different?

At the age of 4 Laurie already felt unloved and unwanted by her own family and she didnt feel any happiness as a child. However one man changed that for her and made her feel like the most special girl in the world, her uncle Andrew. As a young girl who was so desperate to be loved and accepted she finally found someone who not only loved her but spoiled her and made her happy. Uncle andrew would say nice things, buy her nice toys and give her sweets, he was her saviour. However what Laurie didnt know was that Uncle Andrew took this oppertunity to begin to groom her into loving him, trusting him and wanting to do absolutely anything for him. He had complete control over this little girl and was about to take away her childhood and make her life hell. He would also later introduce Laurie into a world so perversed and evil that you will not believe. But it is the truth and this book will open your eyes to it and help other survivors out there know they are not alone.

As you join Laurie on her journey you will be inspired to see the young girl who was so badly damaged, emerge into one of the countrys leading child protection experts. Its an extrordinary and inspiring story which I would highly recommend. If you have ever been to a very low and dark place in your life, this book gives you hope and makes you see that no matter how many people knock you down, you can get right back up and be where you want to be and who you want to be. When you feel like you are nobody, this book shows you that you can be somebody.

I would hope for the future to read what could be the second part to this harrowing story. A book which describes the struggles Laurie went through as a teenager and an adult and how she battled her fears and became the person that she is today. Once you have read Groomed, you feel like you know the author and you want to know more about her journey and the things she fought to get to where she is. I hope people find this book as inspiring as I did and perhaps gain a better understanding of how scary and confusing but also how easy it can be to be groomed.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, 10 July 2012
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L. Kelly (Falkirk) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Groomed: An Uncle Who Went Too Far. A Mother Who Didn't Care. A Little Girl Who Waited for Justice. (Paperback)
Just wanted to say what a brave book this is. I thought I would struggle through it but actually couldn't put it down and read it in a day. Laurie has told a story that needs to be heard. She has broken her silence so others can hear her story and also let other survivors know they are not alone in their experiences of ritualized abuse. To share a story like this and to overcome these experiences and rise to become someone who works to prevent and help others in abusive situations is an incredible achievement.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic, 27 Jun 2012
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This story took me on a journey which was harrowing, painful and so full of misery that I cried for the poor lonely abused child at the centre of it. But the story is also packed full of courage, love and sheer determination to survive and help others. What an inspiration to us all! The human spirit prevails against all the odds and goes on to achieve great things, not for herself, but for others. This is a great story and a must read.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, 12 Jun 2012
This review is from: Groomed: An Uncle Who Went Too Far. A Mother Who Didn't Care. A Little Girl Who Waited for Justice. (Paperback)
I read this book in 2 sittings, I could not put it down. Laurie's ability to describe things in such detail is amazing. I have read a few similar books to this but none like this if that makes sense. How these people/beasts can treat children like this is beyond me. I just want go back in a time machine and rescue the wee lassie and her pal Fiona. I managed to hold the tears back throughout the whole book (god knows how) but just a couple of lines at the end got me. This is a must read. Shocking story.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars courageous and inspiring, 22 July 2012
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This review is from: Groomed: An Uncle Who Went Too Far. A Mother Who Didn't Care. A Little Girl Who Waited for Justice. (Paperback)
I started reading this book because I knew of Laurie and her work with survivors of ritual abuse. I always thought her knowledge and understanding was second to none and now I understand so much more about why that is. One thing that particularly strikes me is the unsensational way the ordinariness of the grooming process is described. The book invites the reader in through the seemingly innocent and friendly approaches of a kind uncle to a small, vulnerable and lonely child, through various stages of emotional, physical and sexual abuse to the, usually, in our society, unspoken experience of ritual abuse. It is undoubtedly chilling that people, men and women, can knowingly behave in such ways and equally chilling that people, who could make a difference, seem so reluctant to believe those who do their level best to speak out.
The abuse these children experienced knew no boundaries and, although Laurie is writing about her own experiences as a child and young woman, she brings these experiences into the present by also writing about the work she does now with people who are survivors of the same kinds of trauma.
This is a courageous book written by a courageous woman. It should be required reading for social workers, teachers and police officers...as a start.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ostrich, 3 July 2012
This review is from: Groomed: An Uncle Who Went Too Far. A Mother Who Didn't Care. A Little Girl Who Waited for Justice. (Paperback)
Am so pleased that Laurie had the courage to write this book. People are so clever at burying their heads in the sand when the subject of child abuse comes up. But as a fellow survivor people need to know the truth and even if what is written may seem totally unbelievable- Please believe it, it does and did happen.
The individuals having the courage, and believe me it takes courage,that are coming forward now are just the tip of the iceberg.If all the children abused came forward be prepared to sink. Thank you Laurie and hope you write another.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!, 27 Jun 2012
Simply put, I loved this book. I read it in less than 24 hours - I couldn't put it down. Laurie's willingness to openly and honestly share her experiences of systematic abuse, betrayal, and survival is nothing short of honorable. Whether the reader themselves is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, a parent, a social worker or someone who just comes across this book, the deep insights into the pathology of grooming that Laurie walks the reader through is harrowing and such vital information in the ongoing commitment to end childhood sexual abuse. I live in the United States and will be encouraging everyone I know to read Groomed.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars unbelievable but sadly true, 26 Jun 2012
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I bought this book for kindle on 23rd June and read it on the 24th June. I could not put it down, its shocking and powerful. I admit to knowing the author and knew a bit of the history but couldn't believe how little I knew of what she went through. The book is harsh but loving in areas too. Lauries love for her sister shines through and she makes no excuses for the difficulties she experienced and had to deal with. She is brutaly honest about the relationship between the abuser and the abused, which I was surprised at. I did not understand that this "relationship" is built up and the child is often desperate for affection and the abuser recognises this and uses to their benefit. The little statements at the beginning of each chapter gives a hint of what is coming in the chapter and I imagine how Laurie felt. It is powerful and if I am honest scary that this still happens in society today. The fact that she now uses her own history to help others is a testimony to the strength that shines all through the book and I am proud to claim her as a friend.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Groomed- Laurie Matthew, 14 Jun 2012
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This review is from: Groomed: An Uncle Who Went Too Far. A Mother Who Didn't Care. A Little Girl Who Waited for Justice. (Paperback)
I read this book in the course of a day, and have been very moved by it. The sheer courage it has taken to survive what she has, and then to put it out here, for the world to see is something not many could do.

I don`t know that I can give this amazing book justice within this review, but here`s hoping...

`My name is Laurie Matthew and I am about to tell you things that I have never told anyone else` is the first sentance in this book.

With unashamed honesty, this book shines a light on a little girls determination not just to survive, but to thrive. And she has. There is a story in this book that just made me think "You go, girl". At the age of three, the first of many `little victories`(as she puts it) were won by Laurie. I see that `little victory` as a seriously gutsy thing for a three year old to do. I also think that is when Laurie showed that she did not take what her `care-givers` did with the meek acceptance many would. She showed them that she valued herself more than they did.

There are short poems at the beginning of each chapter that were written by Laurie while she was in the process of surviving her childhood. Laurie`s life-long love of words is made very evident in this book.

As the saying goes "Money can`t buy you love". Reading of the abject poverty Laurie grew up within is difficult, but not a completely alien concept. Now, decades later, childrens lives in the UK continue to be blighted by poverty. However, the support, safety of family was what was really lacking.

So, in comes Uncle Andrew with his fun, hugs and hilarity. At least thats how it seemed to Laurie, and anyone else who looked in.The basic childhood need for love, had not been met, Uncle Andrew put himself at the centre of Lauries world. And his acquaintances, and their acquantances.

Laurie survived abuse on every level, and has used those awful experiences to work directly with survivors of abuse, and work at a national level as a child protection expert. Working within the realm of organised/ritualised abuse is a place not many experts go, but Laurie and the charities set up by her do. That deserves recognition and should be applauded.

`I have peace and love in my life.I am surrounded by my own children and my grandchildren. I never thought I`d have all that. I still don`t think I deserve it.I feel so lucky to have survived and to have all of this. Every day I tell myself how good life is and how good my life is.That`s special. I made that for myself and no one can ever take it away from me. I did it. I saved Laurie.` is the last few sentances in this book. Which is rather bittersweet. Of course Laurie deserves to be surrounded by people she loves and who love her in return. She has worked so hard for so long to get to where she is. I`d like to think that one day, she KNOWS that she deserves the good things and people she has in her life.

If only there were more Laurie Matthews the world would be a far better place.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars, 30 Jun 2014
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Very good
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