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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely outstanding!
Simply the most insightful and helpful book I have ever read on the subject of relationships. It is beautifully written, and as a man I'm not ashamed to admit that I was moved to tears on several occasions as I read through the case studies related by the author, and how she helped these couples to restore a safe emotional connection by working through her Emotionally...
Published 16 months ago by Mr. R. J. Satchell

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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good
Easy enough to read, but I'm sure the book could be half the size or even smaller. It's a single idea, that's been padded out well. There are lots of examples but they feel rather artificial, and a bit motherhood-and-apple-pie. The idea that a relationship is a dance starts to grate after a while too.
Published 7 months ago by Paul


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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely outstanding!, 20 Mar 2013
By 
Mr. R. J. Satchell "gemini guy" (Plymouth, UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
Simply the most insightful and helpful book I have ever read on the subject of relationships. It is beautifully written, and as a man I'm not ashamed to admit that I was moved to tears on several occasions as I read through the case studies related by the author, and how she helped these couples to restore a safe emotional connection by working through her Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy programme. As I read through the Seven Transforming Conversations it became so painfully clear to me how my former partner and I had got so dreadfully caught up in the downward spiral of the 'demon dialogues' and how we kept rubbing each other's 'raw spots'. Sadly, by the time I started reading this book, my former partner and I had already ended the relationship - it had become so volatile over a 2 year period, complicated for several reasons, resulting in several break-ups. In the end we had just inflicted too much emotional hurt on each other. If only we'd been aware of this book before breaking up, I'm absolutely convinced it would have enabled us to understand how we had become so disconnected, to heal our emotional wounds and ultimately save our relationship. But at least, having now read the book, I have learned some incredibly powerful lessons, and am so much more switched on about how to connect safely with a partner. I really can't recommend this book strongly enough - I feel like I've been to Relationship University and graduated with flying colours! And of course, I'm very confident my next partner will approve of what I have learned!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening and inspiring, 27 Dec 2013
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A. Mapham (Long Beach CA) - See all my reviews
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Enlightening and inspiring. Sue Johnson spells out our life long need for connection and intimacy in a way that rings true and is reassuring. The book is rich in examples and backed by the latest research in brain science and positive psychology.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Really good thought provoking, 3 April 2013
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Meave Quinn (Ireland) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
When reading book can really see / feel how connections between us get lost - Really relevant - could highlight half the book
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good practical guide to relationship improvement, 16 Jun 2012
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E. A. Salmon "busysextherapist" (London, England) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
Easy to follow and practical self help book by distinguished clinician clearly spelling out how modern developments in attachment theory can be put into practice by distressed couples.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent help for couples in distress, 20 April 2011
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As a couple counsellor, I often recommend this book to my clients as part of the 'homeworks' while in therapy and the feedback from my couples is that it's a huge support in helping them change the way they talk to each other and deal with emotional distress. It's a wonderful book written by a highly respected psychologist, academic and researcher for the general public. It will really help improve your relationship with your partner and loved ones.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful, 21 Aug 2011
This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
It does what it says on the tin! Well, we've not gone through the whole book yet but so far it's been really good and helpful and things have changed for the better! Definitely recommend!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Vulnerability and Intimacy as vital ingredients to life and relationships, 24 Mar 2014
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Anthony C. Theuninck (United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
Dr Sue Johnson is part of a movement in self-help books that are based on sound science and evidence. You could spend ages trawling through the plethora of self-help or start with a scientifically verified approach. Dr Johnson gives you that.

Dr Johnson starts with the science of love and intimacy, referring to evidence that people who are in loving relationships have lower stress hormones and more resilient immune responses and are less at risk of high blood pressure, heart attacks and strokes. She writes, " Contact with a loving partner literally acts as a buffer against shock, stress and pain. The people we love...are the hidden regulators of our bodily processes and our emotional lives" (pg 25). Lovingly secure relationships are vital to our health. At the heart of our well-being is an adult attachment need for loving connections akin to a child's attachment need. Our attachment need is fundamental to our psycho-physiological nature; we are social creatures.

Dr Johnson focuses on first helping you to evaluate and become aware of the dances or patterns that maintain hurt between couples. She then supports your becoming curious and compassionate about your "raw spots" or "emotionally vulnerable" parts. Our vulnerable raw spots are the flashpoints that trigger irrational rows and deadening distance in our relationships. Getting to know our own and our partner's raw spots is the starting point for building a strong relationship. In awareness and compassion for our own and our partner's vulnerability, lies the building blocks of our strength.

Dr Johnson leads you through various chapters on building love and closeness in various facets of your relationships, both emotional and sexual. She presents the process of learning about each other and growing together as a series of conversations suggesting that change can be ordinary and do-able, like a conversation, if you give it time.

For some couples there may be an additional complication to overcome, namely the consequences of trauma. Dr Johnson dedicates a chapter to this, to help couples consider the additional challenges that healing from trauma brings.

This book will offer vital sound advise and knowledge, but the trouble with all self-help is how to apply it to yourself and your relationships. Whilst Dr Johnson's readable and touching style goes a long way, for some this may be easier than others. What Dr Johnson highlights in this work however, is that healing and thriving happens through relationships. If you are struggling to apply the ideas in the book, it may be worth considering the caring support and professional guidance that a professional relationship with a trained therapist/psychologist can offer to you and/or your partner.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cuts to the real issue., 31 Oct 2011
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This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
This book has provided me with the words and structure to explain to my clients the essence of relationships. As a full time relationship coach I am constantly looking for examples of good practice from around the world to keep my own learning and good practice moving forward. The thoroughness of the research and the committment to helping couples realise the joy and deep connection of their relationship shine out of this book. As a self help book for couples this builds on any communication 'techniques' they have been taught. As a reference book for therapists / coaches and counsellors, who work in the area of relationships it defines some of the key principles of how good relationships become great relationships.

On a personal level I now understand my connection needs with my wife and have been able to be more loving and demonstrative since reading this book. Not only has this enhanced our day to day interactions it has improved our coaching work (we coach couples together)and has re-invigorated our lovemaking! Worth every penny!!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars, 15 July 2014
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Mrs. S. Wardale (UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships (Paperback)
good book
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5.0 out of 5 stars recommended by my therapist Helen Mia Harris (also highly recommended) ..., 5 July 2014
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I have read a number of these books as a result of a traumatic separation and this one, recommended by my therapist Helen Mia Harris (also highly recommended) is the best I've read yet. Lots of real examples that I could relate to, easy to read. A self-help book I found difficult to put down and it has also had a profound effect on my wife. A must read for anyone going through relationship pain.
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