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74 of 76 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what a carer needs to read
Hugh Marriot has made a fantastic job of highlighting issues that most carers probably don't think twice about. He has injected enough humour to make the book a very enjoyable read. He has created a name for the Person I(he) Give Love & Endless Therapy to (P.I.G.L.E.T), and therefore brings a lighter side to the carer's responsibilities - just thinking about it can...
Published on 15 Jan 2004

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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring
Was asked to buy this by my GP, interesting read, just made me realise there are a lot of people out there the same as me! Didn't give me any answers or make me feel any less guilty, and didn't turn me into a 'selfish pig'!
Published on 3 Mar 2010 by Carole Morgan


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74 of 76 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what a carer needs to read, 15 Jan 2004
By A Customer
Hugh Marriot has made a fantastic job of highlighting issues that most carers probably don't think twice about. He has injected enough humour to make the book a very enjoyable read. He has created a name for the Person I(he) Give Love & Endless Therapy to (P.I.G.L.E.T), and therefore brings a lighter side to the carer's responsibilities - just thinking about it can raise a smile. It becomes clear by reading the book, many of us carers may think that we are selfish for wishing things to be different, but we have no right to do so. We are only feeling what many others are doing in similar situations, so how can we be selfish.
The tales and stories that he relates about his own situation and those of his friends, show the benefits of sharing information, and that, we should all try to do likewise as often as possible. Because Hugh and his 'piglet' live in the uk - his 'frustrations' are those that we can all equate to. Whether they be with social services, or other people's attitudes towards carers and the disabled.
I've read the book through from cover to cover and keep refering back to sections of it. Informative and/or humerous sections of text have now been marked with post-it notes.
Thanks Hugh for spelling out what carers need to hear. We are NOT ALONE - even though we may feel differently most of the time
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring, 11 Mar 2013
By 
Damaskcat (UK) - See all my reviews
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If you are a carer I urge you to read this book. It isn't about how to claim benefits or how to obtain help from Social Services - though both those subjects are mentioned. It's about the way caring makes you feel - both about yourself and about the person you are caring for. You may think you make all those sacrifices willingly in order to care for your loved one but somewhere lurking under the self-sacrifice is how you feel about losing all the things you enjoy in your own life. Many carers tend to make a virtue out of necessity and realising it's impossible to do the things they used to enjoy just forget they ever enjoyed them.

Constantly bottling up your own feelings and always putting someone else's needs before your own ultimately takes its toll on your own physical and mental health. Your first task as a carer, as this book makes clear is to be a Selfish Pig (SP) because ultimately you have to take care of your own needs otherwise it's impossible to continue as a carer because you will suffer from burnout. It isn't just overworked executives who suffer from burnout. The constant demands from the person you're caring for (your Piglet in the terminology of the book) takes a much greater toll on the carer than many carers realise.

As well as being amusing and having plenty of cartoon type illustrations this book will reassure carers that they are not alone in the feelings of rage, frustration and sadness they may suffer. You want to do the best for your loved one and you can get so caught up in day to day routines that you don't realise how much you miss being independent. When it takes hours to get your piglet ready for a simple trip out it hardly seems worthwhile to even attempt the expedition. When you've man-handled a wheelchair (however light-weight) out of a car boot, settled your Piglet into it, sorted out your joint baggage, pushed the wheelchair wherever you're going and then reversed the process at the end of the visit you've pretty well used up all your energy and try doing it more than once a day!

But it's not just physical problems which put a strain on the carer - even worse in some ways are the mental problems which cause your Piglet to be dependent on you. Groundhog Day has got nothing on someone with memory problems! Many of the conversations reported in this book sound very familiar to me. I found this book very reassuring and an entertaining read because it is written by someone who is a carer and who knows the joys and frustrations first hand so it has the ring of truth. Highly recommended to anyone who is in the much under-rated job of being a carer.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Therapy for carers....., 18 Jun 2011
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This review is from: The Selfish Pig's Guide To Caring: How to cope with the emotional and practical aspects of caring for someone (Paperback)
If someone had told me that within 3 or 4 hours of receiving this book in the post...that I would be crying with laughter...I wouldn't have believed it...but I was!
I don't know if it just landed on my mat at the right time (during an exceptionally difficult and sad period of caring), or if it says in a completely different 'way' all the stuff I've already read in every other 'If You Are A Carer...This Is What You Do' type manual...who knows...but it pressed all the right buttons.
It is written 'sensitively'...and, in places, is predictably difficult reading...but the 'text' is peppered with hilarious insights in to the perpetual plight of the reluctant carer.
One reviewer states that 'it has not made (him) in to an SP'..well all I can say is..he (or she) cannot be far 'down the road' in their particular caring journey.
It has managed to put things back in to a bit of perspective for me...and if I need a quick laugh (after emptying the commode for the umpteenth time)...I know that I can find one within it's pages.
Buy it, don't take it too seriously...and be an SP...just for a little while.
Your piglet wouldn't mind.......
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30 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Common sense and humour, 23 Nov 2006
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This is a must-read book for all carers. Marriott tells it like it is - he rolls up his sleeves and gets right down to it, even the stuff the other people daren't even whisper about. His style is reassuring and full of good humour and - I don't know how he manages it - he always gets the balance right, so he's helpful not preachy, realistic but not pessimistic. There are lots of good general practical tips, and where he's unable to give specific details, he explains how you can follow up lines of enquiry on your own.

I really think the man deserves a medal for writing this book.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars how to be a good selfish pig, 3 Sep 2009
By 
Mrs. Claire Davies (UK) - See all my reviews
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This book was a laugh a minute initially, it is extremely funny. I have been there and done that with most of the situations that are described. However the author also covers extrememly important points, in fact, most of the really important things that a carer faces. These include the huge loss of who you are, the loss of who your little piglet used to be, also the loss of income and free time - the list goes on and on.
Overall an excellent book. I would strongly recommend this book to all carers and the professionals who profess to care for the carers.
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26 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This guy's been there!, 26 July 2006
By 
Tom (Scotland) - See all my reviews
If you are a carer you're expected by everyone else to be perfect 24 hr a day 365 days a year. Life ain't like that and Hugh Marriot has the courage to admit it.

He is honest about the problems and prepared to suggest how carers can maintain a grip on sanity (most of the time) and loose tempers (rarely) without feeling bucketloads of guilt.

It should be issued to all who apply for a carers allowance. Doctors, nurses social workers OT and others who deal with carers should read it. It will help you and the carer to converse as human beings. It will enable you to converse in the real world.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The sun after rain, 5 May 2014
This review is from: The Selfish Pig's Guide To Caring: How to cope with the emotional and practical aspects of caring for someone (Paperback)
I am a beginning carer for my husband who has early dementia. It shocked me and the family, this diagnosis and yet, explained everything for me. However, I found myself in uncharted waters, with no experience beyond watching the 'older' generation fade into that unreachable place prior to death. But this is my husband, my strong leader and I felt, at first, like a tumbleweed in a thousand miles of desert. I have found a wonderful support system, one I never knew existed till now, and at the carer centre in Oban, Lorna gave me copy of this book. Suddenly I am not alone. Hugh writes so honestly from experience with a strong, feisty voice that lays it out on the line. At times I gasp and shrink, at times I laugh. If I could, I would tell him to his face.....thank you for speaking out and for helping me, and, I am sure, so many others as we take unsteady steps down a long and difficult road. The practical advice in your book, the compassion, the honesty, is more than helpful, it is essential.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No lies. No threats, just good common sense., 19 Nov 2013
By 
Radiojock (England) - See all my reviews
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I started reading this book last night. I laughed, marked much text already, and now, I'm at the crying stage. I understand, so far, everything Hugh has written about.

I have to read books. I've got a load of them to get information on my situation, but they all, so far, don't take into account the truly awful emotions we carer's suffer from.

This one does. At the moment, I'm sitting here crying over a subject I've faced and come through. I wonder what comes next? This author has been through so much in his own caring role. He's faced every emotion and written about it. That takes more courage than most folk can understand, I think.

I've read through the comments here and there's someone who truly loathes this book. I understand. And I care. I care how you feel. I just wish there was someone who cared how I feel. I'll never meet Hugh Marriot in this life, but reading his book, for me, there's someone out there who cares how I feel. At last, there's something to read that isn't a platitude.

I'm so sick of platitudes.

Believe me. I've asked for help. From many sources. The things that have happened, the threats, lies and fob-offs I've had to endure have pushed me into a place where I'm now far too frightened to ask any more.

So I have to read books and get my help that way.

Thank you, Hugh, not only in caring for the person in your life, but for caring about the rest of us as well. Believe me. This book has truly helped me, and I love you for writing it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A sympathetic read., 14 Dec 2013
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I have my own 'piglet' and I found this book a very sympathetic and understanding read. Anyone who is offended by the term piglet or the other descriptions in the book probably hasn't had to take care full time for someone with dementia and disabilities and had to face the extreme emotions this situation throws up. And if they have and can react in purely positive tones, then Good For Them! That's not my experience.

The book didn't teach me a lot that I didn't know, as such, but it was a very sympathetic book, which made me grateful that feeling negative towards my piglet is understandable and I'm not the only one who feels like that.

As carers, particularly of elderly relatives with dementia, the situation will probably only deteriorate, so an amusing and sympathetic book like this can only help.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring, 26 Nov 2012
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This review is from: The Selfish Pig's Guide To Caring: How to cope with the emotional and practical aspects of caring for someone (Paperback)
I bought the original of this book several years ago when I was a carer. I've now bought it for a relative who has recently become a carer and I can't recommend it enough to anyone who is carrying out this very important role. I value my original book so much that I won't lend it out. I pick it up from time to time to remind myself of the difficult yet satisfying role I did then and thousands of others are doing every day now.
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