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46 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's not only for parents - read this book!, 8 May 2006
This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Queen Bees exposed, 12 July 2009
By 
Special Needs teacher "marnie" (West Country Great Britain) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
Superb book; simple, clear, immediately understandable. Good for professionals who train colleagues who work with difficult teenage girls. Also relevant for parents who have daughters are not happy/ seem to be ill- with no real cause/don't seem secure etc but are not being "bullied"
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for parents!, 16 May 2006
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars New 2010 update, 9 Aug 2011
By 
Fiona (Sheffield, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
This book has given me real insight into the pressures of being a teen/tween in this technological age.

I understand that the book is approx 8 years old, but Rosalind Wiseman has updated the original to include priceless info on how mobiles, social networking sites etc.. can also skew the game.

I have never read a self help book in my life (and have always smirked when people have mentioned them) so I am glad that the recommendation from a mum on Netmums to read this wasn't overlooked by me.

It is much more accessible than I thought it would be. The language is more like a chat with a friend and she even advises you of times when she has gotten it wrong but how to learn from this. I was particularly impressed with the "landmines" - basically things that will make your daughter role her eyes and shut down communication - and also the what parenting type are you? (I have been a few of them at different times!!)

I feel that my communication with my daughter has improved dramatically already. If you want to see this woman in action go to her website and click through to "NBC - My Kid Would Never Bully." What an eye opener.

A must.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for parents!, 5 Jun 2008
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Queen Bees and Wannabes - a real take on teen life., 23 May 2008
By 
Ms. Luna Jacobs "luluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" (totne bookshop, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
this book gives the reader very indepth and accurate insight into the life of a teenage girl / boy. if clearly defines problems an faces them rather than shying away, giving advice on how to deal with your troublesome teen in a constructive manner rather than creating more problems. Wiseman explains that it is all about HOW you approach issues with your daughter / son and gives examples of difficult situations. it also has small exemplems of the teens points of view which show their feelings and fears.
an excellent guide to discovering the unpleasant truth about girl world and its rules.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Really enjoyed this, 7 Jan 2013
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I don't have daughters, but knowing that the very funny film, Mean Girls was based on it, I was interested to give it a go. It has some excellent insights (the examples of spoken exchanges between girls being horrible to one another were spot on- you feel she knows what she is talking about and dealing with). It's an endlessly fascinating subject - why women feel compelled to drag one another down in a myriad of psychologically torturous ways at school- and if, or when I do have daughters, I would certainly use some of the tips and ideas here.
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3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars ESSENTIAL SPECIALLY FOR TEENAGERS, 5 Sep 2012
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This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
If you have a pre-teen this is a essential and if you have a teenager you are already due.
Best thing, is to buy it when you are pregnant buy it and then as your child grows up, teach her how to avoid/ get over those problems (i.e. how to tell her/his peers to go jump over a bridge and leave her/him alone out of trouble).
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