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49 of 51 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's not only for parents - read this book!
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter...
Published on 8 May 2006 by Jay O.

versus
2.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting ideas!
Was a very interesting read, I need more time to reflect and digest it's messages and themes before committing to a full review... But I will soon.
Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer


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49 of 51 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's not only for parents - read this book!, 8 May 2006
This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Queen Bees exposed, 12 July 2009
By 
Savvy Gran "marnie" (West Country Great Britain) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
Superb book; simple, clear, immediately understandable. Good for professionals who train colleagues who work with difficult teenage girls. Also relevant for parents who have daughters are not happy/ seem to be ill- with no real cause/don't seem secure etc but are not being "bullied"
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for parents!, 5 Jun 2008
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars New 2010 update, 9 Aug 2011
By 
Fiona (Sheffield, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
This book has given me real insight into the pressures of being a teen/tween in this technological age.

I understand that the book is approx 8 years old, but Rosalind Wiseman has updated the original to include priceless info on how mobiles, social networking sites etc.. can also skew the game.

I have never read a self help book in my life (and have always smirked when people have mentioned them) so I am glad that the recommendation from a mum on Netmums to read this wasn't overlooked by me.

It is much more accessible than I thought it would be. The language is more like a chat with a friend and she even advises you of times when she has gotten it wrong but how to learn from this. I was particularly impressed with the "landmines" - basically things that will make your daughter role her eyes and shut down communication - and also the what parenting type are you? (I have been a few of them at different times!!)

I feel that my communication with my daughter has improved dramatically already. If you want to see this woman in action go to her website and click through to "NBC - My Kid Would Never Bully." What an eye opener.

A must.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Queen Bees and Wannabes - a real take on teen life., 23 May 2008
By 
Ms. Luna Jacobs "luluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" (totne bookshop, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
this book gives the reader very indepth and accurate insight into the life of a teenage girl / boy. if clearly defines problems an faces them rather than shying away, giving advice on how to deal with your troublesome teen in a constructive manner rather than creating more problems. Wiseman explains that it is all about HOW you approach issues with your daughter / son and gives examples of difficult situations. it also has small exemplems of the teens points of view which show their feelings and fears.
an excellent guide to discovering the unpleasant truth about girl world and its rules.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for parents!, 16 May 2006
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book to help parents give advice and guidance to ..., 3 July 2014
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This review is from: Queen Bees And Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends & the new realities of Girl World (Paperback)
Excellent book to help parents give advice and guidance to teenage girls trying to navigate their way through friendships and peer groups
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4.0 out of 5 stars Queen Bees & Wannabes, 6 May 2014
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this book has been brilliant as it has given me an insight into teenage girls friendships & enabled me to guide my daughter through what can be at times a battlefield
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5.0 out of 5 stars Time to break the cycle, 24 July 2014
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Brilliant if disturbing - with a 10 yr old already experiencing 2years of this -(bullied by wannabes) understanding it makes me wonder when as a gender we break the cycle?
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2.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting ideas!, 4 Nov 2014
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Was a very interesting read, I need more time to reflect and digest it's messages and themes before committing to a full review... But I will soon.
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