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4.8 out of 5 stars82
4.8 out of 5 stars
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on 10 July 2011
My ex finished with me nearly 2 months ago and having no idea how to cope with all the emotions I was going through I came across this book which I saw had been highly recommended. I can truthfully say it has never left my side since, it is as though it was written directly for me. Susan Elliott is a highly experienced grief therapist and sets out in detail the phases of grief and feelings you will encounter. There is lots of practical advice on how to cope with all your feelings, and how to bring your self-esteem back, plus at the core of the book is a detailed questionnaire you fill out - "The Relationship Inventory". During this you take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside point of view and write this down on paper which allows you to see the relationship for what it was, rather than through the fantasy you have in your head. Getting over a relationship takes time and work, and this book guides you all the way through and makes you realise you are not alone in anything you are feeling, and you're not going mad with all the crazy emotions. It is my bible and cannot recommend it enough!
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on 23 July 2011
I bought this book last September when my heart was broken and I didn't think I could ever be happy again. I can honestly say that the book had a massively positive impact on how I thought about my previous relationships and what I could hope for in the future.
I read a little bit every night before I went to sleep and it was like a little bit of medicine for the soul. At times the book is quite profound, and if you are at the point where you want to stop making the same mistakes in your life and with relationships - then this book is the best investment you'll ever make.
If you're really struggling post breakup then I can't recommend Susan Elliott enough, the chapter about how to help your kids is great. If you follow her advice, then you'll move on with dignity and with integrity intact, and with a much greater chance of being happy and content in your own skin, in your own company.
So, 10 months on I can say that life goes on, it's even better than before and my breakup certainly was the best thing that ever happened to me! Get the damn book!
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on 7 December 2015
This book has changed my life, I bought it on a whim when my relationship was going down the pan, thinking the title ironic and at first didn't take it too seriously. When my relationship finally ended, and I was devastated and thought surely it was the end of the world, this book and the blog helped me out of from the depths of despair. It's not easy to get over a break up, no matter why or how the relationship ended, but once you become familiar with Susan's teachings you end up following it religiously. I found checking out the blog for extra encouragement and teachings if extremely helpful.

At first you may find the tone of the book a little intimidating, but once you begin to realise that getting past the break up is getting past your hang ups and any baggage you have the potential to get past, you want to be on Susan's level. It's been 6 months and now I'd never want to fall back to the level of self esteem I had in my relationship. Learning that water seeks it's own level, and that how we react to things and present ourselves to the world is reflected by the people we hang out with and attract, before the breakup I was friends with depressed and crippling self-conscious people, and now I attract people who are a lot healthier. I've learned how to talk to myself, how to react to my moods and how to encourage myself. I found affirmations a little tricky and still haven't come up with a good way of doing them, I'd like more pointers on how to personalise them. I understand Susan has explained the process clearly, but I still struggled a little.

I really cannot recommend this book highly enough, it is a gift. Take it at your own pace, at first Susan guides you and then when you begin to believe in yourself, you guide yourself. It's been an amazing process, and I'm not ashamed to say this book has changed my approach to life and relationships. I haven't finished with it yet, but this book has helped me in my recovery and aided me to confront issues in my life that I may never have confronted. If you are in the depths of despair and need help, if you just need a helping hand, if you want to believe in yourself, and love yourself. Get this book!
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on 5 June 2009
I'd hesitate to call this a book that helps you to "just" get over a break-up. It's so much more.

Though a relationship or marriage breakdown can be terrible this book is so much more than "getting over" things. Susan Elliott shows you how to not only recover from a break-up, but how to build a new life and be happy, whether that's in or out of a relationship.

For me, it was an eye-opener. It taught me how to learn to grieve (and not just relationships, but also other losses in my life, and from that point to then move on and get a life.

This book isn't gender specific either, it's aimed at anyone who wants to pick themselves up and get the life they want and deserve.

It's great. It's the only book I'd recommend for those in a break-up situation.
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on 5 July 2010
"Getting Past Your Breakup" is undoubtly one of the best books I read on the subject. Eloquently written,it guides you through the stages of post-break up grief, offers tools and techniques to turn loss and pain into engine of personal growth. Susan Elliot's book is much more than a post-break up first-aid - which it is too, and very effective one! It teaches you how to set healthy boundaries, how to restore / build up self- esteem, how to identify patterns in broken relationships... how to move on and start dating without falling into the same pit over and over again. Working through the book resulted in me becoming much more balanced, self-assured and assertive person and it has postive impact on virtually all major areas of my life: my relationship with my son, with my sister, on my professional life.
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on 22 April 2014
When a relationship or marriage ends it will be painful and can't be avoided however this book does help to make you feel more positive about the future.
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on 6 November 2013
I've read some amazing books (mostly fiction) and have never left a review!! This book is so fantastic I just had to. Buy it and change your life!!!!
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on 25 October 2013
This book was great!!! It helped me, gave me tools, to use which helped me through a very emotional time, does what it says in the title 😀
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on 3 November 2013
good well set out survival guide
good read for everyone in or out of relationship. we all need reminded we are our own person too
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on 12 June 2014
An essential tool for anyone dealing with relationship grief. Brilliant. It is an ex excellent book to refer back to. A life manual.
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