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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Common Sense
I read the original Rules book about 10 years ago and will always be grateful for the insight it gave me into dating men. The best way to use this book is to use common sense. The not phoning so often made complete sense to me and always will. Sometimes we are just not aware of how our actions are perceived. Also I see nothing wrong with wanting to look your...
Published on 28 Oct 2009 by A. Folwell

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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I resisted this book for years...
Attractive? Intelligent? Independent and sorted? Good to be around? And yet... still single after dating and dating and dating? Then this book is for you.

You're sat here asking yourself what you're doing wrong, and the problem lies in making poor dating choices, and opening up to these men too quickly. The Rules will at least show you how you avoid falling...
Published on 10 May 2009 by Ruby Amanda


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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I resisted this book for years..., 10 May 2009
By 
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
Attractive? Intelligent? Independent and sorted? Good to be around? And yet... still single after dating and dating and dating? Then this book is for you.

You're sat here asking yourself what you're doing wrong, and the problem lies in making poor dating choices, and opening up to these men too quickly. The Rules will at least show you how you avoid falling into those traps. I am feeling confident and positive after reading them, and know what NOT to do.

Sure, you don't take every word as gospel - what's all this about getting a nose job? Because THAT will fix any underlying self-esteem issues getting in the way! And you have to adapt the process to the guys you meet, rather than rigidly stick to your guns, as guys now have their own rules of engagement! I like the way that excuses and rationalisations for bad behaviour are quickly shot down.

As a manual for life outside finding a husband (and it does sensibly warn not to make that the be all and end all!), few books adapt better. Set boundaries, be confident, be cool and easygoing, and you can use the differences in the way men and women (or any role X and Y) communicate to your advantage. If you've ever read about transactional analysis, game-playing is done with EVERYONE. Hang back; don't overwhelm people and make yourself vulnerable by showing your hand too early. Some would call that shady and manipulative, but I call it being smart.

TR is a great way of eliminating chaff and enjoying the wheat. I'm single and will use this book as a guide for living. Overall, it makes sense and creates a win-win situation: You avoid getting hurt and find a great guy, he gets to enjoy pursuing you and if it all goes to plan, you have a great 'story' to tell and a solid relationship that everyone feels an equal part of.

And that's a bad thing because...?
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Common Sense, 28 Oct 2009
By 
A. Folwell "msjamis2k" (London, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
I read the original Rules book about 10 years ago and will always be grateful for the insight it gave me into dating men. The best way to use this book is to use common sense. The not phoning so often made complete sense to me and always will. Sometimes we are just not aware of how our actions are perceived. Also I see nothing wrong with wanting to look your best.

I did however see the consequences of what can happen if you use these rules to the letter. A friend of mine did end up with the man she wanted to end up leaving him a year later. I realised that it can attract someone who is totally unsuitable for you in the long run.

Truth is that once upon a time men did not have the access to women that they enjoy today so I do believe that you should not be readily available just because he wants you when it suits him. Find out what you really want from a relationship and don't just settle for 'a man'. Then The Rules can just be a guideline to enjoyable and confident dating.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A good read for Men as well as Women, 19 Dec 2005
By 
Magic Lemur (Somewhere in Madagascar) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
Although this book seems like it should be read by women, it's actually a very good book for straight guys as well. I've read many books or magazine articles about what women want, and few of them convey it as well as this book.

Essentially the book suggests women follow a given set of rules which make the man do all the work and that they play hard to get. Not only does this hit the nail on the head in terms of winning over someone willing to commit, it also helps guys understand more of what women are after (a witty hunter as opposed to a wussy onlooker).

In addition, the general jist of the rules can be used by Men to be successful with Women. By being not needy, as well as a bit mysterious and elusive, you become naturally more attractive and hence more successful.

Of course, the book does have some downsides, in the form of the naive this-book-will-change-your-life-and-make-you-a-paragon-deity tone. It also gets a little silly towards the end when they start half-heartedly inventing rules for every single aspect of life, although the idea clearly doesn't stretch.

However, I seriously rate this book, as I think it is a good model for the ideal woman (in-demand yet not promiscuous). And for Men, it gives great insight on what you are looking for and how to attain it.
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57 of 64 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Useful advice for clingy ladies, 7 Feb 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
Imagine this: you're on your way out for a hot date with a new chap. You're wearing a flattering outfit, you've made a little more effort with your make-up and hair, you're maybe baring a little flesh - nothing trashy, just enough to be alluring. During the date you're probably going to try to come across as charming and interesting, maybe laugh a little more at his jokes than you otherwise would ...
Stop! Don't you think it's a little unfair to try to make yourself out to be more attractive than you actually are? This poor bloke's probably going to end up falling in love with you, and then be heartbroken to find out that you spend most of your time eating crisps in tracksuit bottoms and a cardie and don't actually find his amusing farting armpit quite as entertaining as you may have made out.
I read The Rules as a laugh after my boyfriend chucked me, and ended up recommending it to all my friends. Since practising the Rules on him (albeit in a low-key kind of way), he has begged me to come back and told me that he's now realised that he never appreciated me and was taking me for granted. The Rules rock.
We all adopt certain behaviour when we start seeing someone new in the hopes that that will make them attracted to you. Why is making an effort to look good not a game? Sure, a book setting out exactly how to play hard to get may seem a little contrived, but then who hasn't been guilty of coming on too strong too early in the past? (My boyfriend has since mentioned how much he appreciates all the space I'm giving him).
Fans of the "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" school of romance might stick to the idea that if it's meant to be then it will happen - and obviously no way of behaving is guaranteed to make someone fall in love with you - but the fact is that the way you (both) behave when you're establishing the relationship is going to have an effect on how it turns out and whether it's going to last (if you decide that that's what you want). Hey, try this: phone your boyfriend a couple of times a day. Cry. Tell him you can't live without him. Tell him that he completes you. Go to meet him when he finishes work so that you don't have to spend another minute apart. Include him in everything you do. This is particularly effective if you've just started going out. See if he likes it. If he did, wouldn't it bother you a bit?
The Rules gives great advice on when to bin a guy who isn't worth it; it encourages you to go out and get your own life without relying on your boyfriend all the time, take your own decisions without always having to ask his advice and get some healthy distance from each other (who wants to live in each other's pockets?); finally, it tells you how to get the loving and respectful relationship that you deserve (whether you want to get married or not) - and what on earth is anti-feminist about that?
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars is so true, 26 Jun 2014
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
So glad i got recommended this book. i was in a relationship for seven months and could never understand where it went wrong, now i know. when i first met him i was actually doing what this book said and thats when the guy was all keen. i then started doing the opposite and thats when he went. lesson learnt. according to this book it was kind of doomed from the start as i asked him out. without reading this book i would have carried on chasing him getting my heart broke, not any more. he knows where i am and if he doesnt want me back, next guy please. whoever i end up with i will be reading the rules again the day i meet them as a reminder. you cant force love and thats what im not gonna do now. no matter what ladies follow this book, if you dont youll end up like me single wondering why all the nice things i said and did account for nothing. number one rule act like hes any other guy youre not interested in. i always found it ironic my two longest relationships were with the two i fancied the least. when you are to keen, needy etc it puts men off which is why these two are only ones who didnt get put off because i didnt care as much. im evidence this book is right.
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22 of 25 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars OK but take some advice with a pinch of salt, 1 Feb 2008
By 
C. A. Rodger (UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
Every guy I know has moaned about some ex-girlfriend who he got bored with because she was too nice/clingy. Men like independent, confident women who have their own lives. Ironically, the more independent you are and the less you "need" the man, the more he is desperate to chase/spend time with you. Anybody who has been in a relationship will know this is true!

All The Rules does is try to convert nice/clingy women into independent strong ones.

Most of the advice in The Rules is good - but it goes too far. Yes I agree that we shouldn't be calling/texting guys all the time - but not returning calls at all? That is just rude!

I think The Rules are best for women who are usually doormats and find they are constantly being dumped on. But they can offer some help to women of the opposite persuasion - career driven, wealthly and independent: don't emasculate the guy: let him chase. Apparently he likes it!

Advice: read The Rules then use your common sense depending on the situation. You must modify The Rules depending on the sensitivity of the guy you are with. If he is a nice guy then he won't mess you around anyway. If he is a player then you need to apply The Rules more strictly.

Worth a read just for entertainment value!
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70 of 81 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The Height of Naivety and Immaturity, 18 Aug 2002
By 
ANDREW GRAEME WOOD (HOUGHTON-LE-SPRING, TYNE AND WEAR United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
My most recent failed relationship with a girl prompted me to read this book out of sheer curiosity. As a man, I was keen to find out whether there was anything I had failed to provide for this woman I had loved so much. I felt the answers would lie within.
What I read shocked and sickened me to the core - looking back, I'm astonished I lasted through to the end. Through its advocacy of cruel mind games and tricks, the book appears to encourage women to see a relationship as made for them and them only, to be selfish, and to use cunning in a completely inappropriate way.
In some ways the book means well - it aims to give women a springboard to lasting happiness - but the recommended methodology here is primitive, draconian and riddled with insensitivity. I can only suggest to female readers of this book that they should remember that a man's feelings count too. The book's strange insistence on advising women not to call their men, not to contribute enough to a relationship themselves, and to deprive their men of what they need simply in order to get exactly what they want is not conducive to making a man feel loved himself - nor to ensuring that a relationship continues and blossoms. If anything, the rules proposed in this book would surely lead to failure in many cases where men end up feeling as if they're being toyed with and repeatedly rejected, as well as being treated as intellectual inferiors. For that's exactly how I would feel.
For someone like me, who values loving and honest relationships in which the two partners are equal in status and must make an equal contribution, this is almost like something written by Beelzebub himself.
I would respect any woman who can read this and be mature enough to reject it as garbage. In portraying them as headless chickens who do nothing but chase (and who can be controlled as if by a TV handset) the book fails completely to foster an understanding of men and I salute all those females who have had success in love without it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable Info, 9 Feb 2014
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This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
I will buy this book for all the young ladies in my family. I got one for my daughter and one for my self (kindle version). I think its an invaluable info and all young ladies and even older ladies who are looking for another chance with a successful marriage should go for it.
The book arrived on time and surprising in great shape, for a second hand book its worth the price and even more as 2nd hand. Thanks Ellen Fein.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars enlightening, 29 Jun 2013
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Now I can see where I have been going wrong all these years. Have always wondered why none of the men I have had long term relationships have fully committed to me or loved me enough. It's because I have tended to make the first move and they haven't felt like they had to work hard enough to get me. I've been too available and accommodating.Growing up in a very male environment/being a teacher and used to organising things and having been independent for so long it will be hard to step back and make the man do all the running but I am going to become a 'rules girl' and see where it leads me.

Some elements of the book are a little old fashioned. Especially the rules for a 'rules' marriage which seem to have the women being light and forgiving and positive all the time with all the effort coming from her and lets men off the hook a bit. On the whole though a very interesting and helpful book which has changed my viewpoint on relationships entirely.
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It works!, 8 Mar 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right (Paperback)
Following a documentary program on this book and several failed relationships, I decided to give it a try. I have to say that within a week of following 'The Rules' on an existing boyfriend, which the book describes as the most difficult to master, he became the most attentive, compassionte man I have ever known. The book details how to find and nab the man you really want and then keep him! After 3 years of what I thought to be a dead end relationship with a thoughtless self centred b***ard, I am now going to be married to the same man just 6 months after reading and following (religiously)'The Rules', I'm sure due to the excercises in the book which has enabled me to create this new human being!
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